AITA for refusing to pay for my friend’s pet even though I was responsible for it’s passing?

A sleepover’s cozy vibe shattered when a 13-year-old girl’s worst fear crawled onto her leg. Picture a dimly lit bedroom, laughter fading as a prank turns cruel. For this teen, bugs trigger panic from a traumatic past, a fact her friends knew but ignored. Their “joke” with a pet praying mantis left her reeling and sparked a heated dispute over a $100 demand.

The fallout stings worse than the prank itself. Her friends’ texts accuse her of overreacting, but she refuses to pay, standing firm. This Reddit tale dives into betrayal, guilt, and teenage loyalty, pulling readers into a drama where trust hangs by a thread. Who’s truly to blame when a prank goes too far?

‘AITA for refusing to pay for my friend’s pet even though I was responsible for it’s passing?’

So I (13f) I have a very bad fear of bugs. When I was little, before I was adopted, I was in a foster home that was infested with roaches and now I just can't stand any bug. I can look at them, but i can't have them on me or i will have a panic attack. I know it sounds stupid but i just can't explain the way it makes me feel.

So I went over to one of my friend's(14f, Cassidy) for her birthday and we had a sleepover. It was us and another girl(15f Mia). Now we were sitting playing two truths and one lie. If you don't know what that is its where you say two truths about yourself and one lie and the other people have to guess which is the lie.

So one of my truths was 'I am deathly afraid of bugs and i can't be near them'. So we got done playing at like, 2am and we decided to go to bed. Well what i didn't know is that Mia and Cassidy were gonna pull a prank on me. Cassidy had a pet praying mantis, that i did not know about.

So I was almost asleep, when i felt a crawling on my leg. I had barely even opened my eyes but i was already slapping at my leg and trying to scoot back. My friends had put cassidy's praying mantis on my leg and it got crushed while i was trying to get away. I went into a panic attack and cassidy's mom woke up and called my mom for me.

I was still sobbing when my mom picked me up and we left. That was yesterday. Cassidy won't stop texting me about paying for a replacement mantis. I told her i'm sorry but she knew i had a fear of bugs and i won't be paying crap for her mantis. She said i killed it and that it's my fault and i should pay the 100 dollars price of the mantis.

I told her no way but cassidy and tia have been texting me and saying that i overreacted and I'm being a b**ch. I just wanna know if im being a a**hole or not. I really don't wanna have to ask my parents to fork up 100 dollars to pay for this bug that i killed. and i also really don't think it's my fault.

Edit: Um, it was kinda hard to tell after I had killed it, but I'm pretty sure it was pink. If that helps. I told my mom and she said to block Tia and Cassidy so I did. She said shes gonna talk to their moms. Tia and cassidy both have a bad rep at my school,

but I like making friends and I gave them the benefit of the doubt. They were new friends and I'm sad the rumors turned out to be true but I was warned. Thanks for everyone who commented! i really appreciate it.

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A prank that plays on someone’s deepest fear is no laughing matter—it’s a betrayal dressed up as a joke. For the original poster (OP), the sleepover incident wasn’t just a moment of panic; it was a breach of trust. Her friends, Cassidy and Mia, knew her bug phobia stemmed from a traumatic foster home experience, yet they chose to exploit it. This clash pits her involuntary reaction against their reckless decision, raising questions about responsibility and respect in friendships.

Let’s zoom out to the bigger picture: pranks often blur the line between fun and harm. A 2019 study from the Journal of Social Psychology (link) found that pranks targeting vulnerabilities can erode trust and strain relationships, especially among teens navigating social bonds. Here, Cassidy’s choice to use her pet as a prop shows a lack of empathy, while OP’s panic-driven response was instinctive, not malicious. The demand for $100 feels less about the pet and more about deflecting guilt.

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Dr. John Duffy, a psychologist specializing in teen behavior, notes in a Psychology Today article (link), “Pranks that exploit fears aren’t just cruel—they can retraumatize. Teens need to learn empathy through consequences, not punishment.” For OP, the trauma of bugs is real, and her reaction was beyond her control. Cassidy’s negligence in risking her pet’s safety, not OP’s panic, led to the mantis’s death. The $100 price tag also seems inflated—pet mantises typically cost $20–$50, per online pet forums.

What’s the solution? OP’s mother wisely advised blocking Cassidy and Mia, signaling a need for healthier boundaries. Moving forward, OP should seek friends who respect her limits. For Cassidy, a lesson in pet responsibility and empathy is overdue.

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Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of support and shade like a spicy group chat. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the community:

Ryzaerian − NTA. And you deserve better friends.

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andagainandagain- − NTA - I would let her know that I will gladly give her $100 if she’s okay with giving me $300 to cover a few therapy sessions for panic attack related care due to her pulling a cruel prank on you, knowing your fear.

Sweeper1985 − NTA. The people responsible are those who took it out of its cage and played this cruel prank on you.. P.S. they are really not your friends. Ditch them.

randa_panda − NTA pranks should not have a victim, you should be both laughing at the end. You were traumatized and the pet that was killed. This sounds like a life lesson for your friend.

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Why did she risk a pets life for a prank? If you’re not responsible for your own pets if you’re fault. You expressed your fear of bugs before hand and your friend was a bit malicious by putting it on you. What did they expect?

Poopsie66 − NTA. 100 dollars for a praying mantis? That's insane. And it's not your fault. If they put a bucket of pig blood on top of a door to fall on you as a prank, would they expect you to pay to clean it out of the carpet?

lightwoodorchestra − NTA. Your friends are being huge assholes. You are not responsible for the bug's death, they are. Even if you weren't afraid of them it would have been a stupid risk to put the bug on a sleeping person! And doing so knowing about your p**bia was just cruel. If I were her parent I would tell her no more pets for some time because she's clearly not responsible with them.

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tinyahjumma − Mantises don’t even cost that much. Your friends are not good enough for you.

i-Ake − NTA. She is irresponsible and treated it like a toy. No pets for her. I don't think it was a hundred bucks, either.

penleyhenley − NTA- it was a stupid, cruel prank. Pranks are supposed to be something the person can laugh at after, not be something that plays on major fears. It was thoughtless.

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You reacted how most would have if they felt a large bug crawling on them. I’m so sorry they did that and are hassling you now. You don’t deserve that treatment, you deserve kinder friends.

FactBearsEatBeetss − NTA. You told them you were afraid of bugs and instead of respecting your autonomy, they put the mantis on you. Your knee jerk reaction was to smack it. Maybe Cassidy will be a responsible pet owner and a better friend in the future. But f**k that, you don’t owe them anything.

These Redditors rallied behind OP, slamming the prank as cruel and Cassidy’s $100 demand as absurd. Some called for therapy to address the trauma, while others questioned the mantis’s price. But do these fiery takes capture the full story, or are they just fueling the drama? One thing’s clear: this sleepover saga has sparked a debate about trust and accountability.

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This sleepover-turned-nightmare highlights the delicate balance of teenage friendships, where a “joke” can cut deeper than intended. OP’s refusal to pay stands as a defense of her boundaries, but the loss of trust stings most. As she navigates this fallout, her story reminds us that empathy should guide our actions, especially with friends. What would you do if a prank pushed your fears too far? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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