AITA for refusing to pay for a girl’s coat that my boyfriend accidentally donated?

Imagine finding a forgotten jacket in your closet, left behind by a near-stranger who keeps promising to pick it up but never does. For nine months, you play the patient host, only for your boyfriend to accidentally donate it during a spring clean. Now, the owner’s back, fuming, demanding $250 and crying theft. This Reddit tale dives into a messy clash over a lost coat, sparking debates about responsibility and fairness that’ll leave you picking a side.

The OP, caught between good intentions and an angry demand, stands firm against paying for the jacket. With Reddit buzzing over who’s really at fault, this story pulls us into a whirlwind of forgotten promises and donated goods. Was the OP wrong to refuse payment, or is the jacket’s owner out of line? Let’s unpack the drama that’s got everyone talking.

‘AITA for refusing to pay for a girl’s coat that my boyfriend accidentally donated?’

I needed a model for a photoshop I was doing for school and I found this girl through the school’s modeling and acting page. After the shoot, she left and a few hours later I realized she forgot her jacket. I contacted her and she said she would be by the next day to pick it up. She didn’t come by

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A month went by and I didn’t hear from her until she messaged asking if I’d be around for her to pick up her jacket. I responded the time I'd be home and again, she didn’t respond or come by the house. This was almost 8 months ago. During that 8 months she would message me, I’d respond, and she wouldn’t.

Last week my boyfriend was cleaning the apartment and asked me to take what I wanted to keep from the closet because he was gonna donate the rest. I wasn’t thinking and I forgot to grab her jacket. My boyfriend donated it along with some other stuff. The girl reached out to me again saying she would be by to grab the jacket and I just was honest with her and said I didn’t have it.

She was furious. She’s demanding me to e-transfer her $250 for the jacket and I’m refusing to. I understand the jacket was expensive but I had it for 9 months and she didn’t care at all. I keep getting messages from her saying I’m basically committing theft. Should I e-transfer her the money? AITA?

This jacket saga is a textbook case of misplaced responsibility. The OP’s efforts to return the coat—multiple messages, open invitations—went ignored for nine months. Then, an honest mistake by her boyfriend led to its donation, and now the owner’s demanding cash. Dr. Jane Adams, an expert on personal boundaries, notes, “You’re not obligated to compensate for someone else’s negligence” . The OP’s refusal to pay is grounded in fairness—she isn’t a storage unit.

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The owner’s claim of theft is a stretch. Legally, property left unclaimed for extended periods—often 30-90 days, depending on local laws—can be considered abandoned . The OP gave ample opportunity for retrieval, making the donation reasonable, if accidental. The owner’s $250 demand ignores her own inaction, which fueled the mishap. Her accusations sound more like frustration than a valid claim.

This situation reflects a broader issue: accountability for personal belongings. The OP’s good faith contrasts with the owner’s negligence, yet her aggressive response escalates the conflict. Dr. Adams suggests clear communication to resolve such disputes—here, the OP could offer to help locate the jacket at the donation site, as Reddit suggested. Documenting all prior messages strengthens her case if threats persist.

For now, the OP’s stance is solid—she’s not liable for an abandoned item. She should save all communication and, if harassment continues, report it.

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Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit brought the sass, serving up a lively mix of snark and support for this closet caper. It’s like a yard sale where everyone’s got a hot take on who owns what. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the community:

vdonsf − NTA. Tell her you’ll send her the money and then wait 9 months and ask her if she still needs the money and tell her you’ll send it after. Then ask her for her payment info 9 months after that.

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Internal-Zucchini5 − NTA. She left her jacket for 9 months at your place. What did she expect? You are not a warehouse for her to store unwanted stuff.

[Reddit User] − NTA. In many places, it would be considered abandoned. You can google abandoned property laws for where you live if you have any concerns.

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yay_darkness − NTA. It's pretty much abandoned property after a couple months, let alone NINE that you've actively tried to give it back to her. You didn't commit theft. She abandoned her property and you got rid of it. You're not free storage.. ​ If you want to be really snarky, just tell her you'll pay her the 250 when she pays you for storage for 9 months for a jacket you didn't ask to keep.

Check out coat check prices. Not that you had a contract or anything, but if it comes down to it, just tell her you attempted to get it back, she didn't respond in a timely manner, and you got rid of it. If she was that pressed about the money, she'd care about it a lot sooner. I'd get back an expensive coat the week after I left it somewhere, at most. Ignore her.

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cai_hong − NTA, she didn't take responsibility for her belongings and now she has to deal with the consequences. If your bf donated it to a place like goodwill or value village where it will be resold, suggest she go check the shop and see if she can find it.

pokey1984 − NTA. Look at it this way: If she'd left her coat at a restaurant, how long do you think they would have kept it? What about if she left it at school? Do you think they would give her $250?. No one else would have even kept it that long and they certainly wouldn't give her money.

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Jynifer − Nope! NTA it’s been 8 months sucks to be her but not your problem

username2-4-3-7 − NTA. If you want to be generous, tell her where your BF donated it so she can buy it back. But you don’t owe her anything.

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ratboy18 − NTA. She had 9 months to get it back. It was technically yours at that point. She's gonna have to deal with the consequences of her actions. If she messages you again, report her to the police for harassment. But make sure you save the prior contacts beforehand, otherwise she'll be able to pull some b**lshit and sue you.

dr-sparkle − NTA. You tried to arrange for her to get it but she didn't cooperate. It wasn't donated maliciously.

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Redditors rallied behind the OP, calling the jacket owner’s demands absurd and her inaction the real culprit. Some suggested snarky comebacks, while others urged checking donation sites. But do these takes capture the full story, or are they just piling on the shade?

This tale of a donated jacket and a $250 demand leaves us pondering responsibility, fairness, and the perils of forgotten stuff. The OP’s refusal to pay sparked a Reddit firestorm, and now it’s your turn to weigh in. Was she right to stand her ground, or should she have done more to save the jacket? What would you do if someone demanded cash for their long-lost item? Share your thoughts—let’s keep this conversation zipping along.

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