AITA for refusing to pay a guest’s ER bill?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Imagine hosting a cozy reunion in your apartment, the air filled with laughter and nostalgia, only for chaos to erupt when a guest breaks out in hives. That’s the scene for one man, caught in a whirlwind when his girlfriend’s friend, Sarah, suffers a severe allergic reaction to his beloved cat, racking up a $5,000 ER bill. Now, his girlfriend insists he foot the bill, claiming his furry friend is to blame. But is he really responsible for someone else’s oversight?

This Reddit tale is a spicy mix of personal responsibility, relationship tension, and a cat who’s probably napping through the drama. With the internet buzzing and opinions flying, let’s unpack the story, hear from an expert, and see what Reddit’s armchair judges think about this prickly situation.

‘AITA for refusing to pay a guest’s ER bill?’

My GF's 10 year high school reunion didn't happen for obvious reasons, so she invited some of her closest high school friends (FYI, I do not know and have never talked to these people) to our apartment instead. I adopted my cat way back in 2016, prior to meeting my GF.

My GF's friend (let's call her Sarah) immediately starts breaking out in hives once she entered our apartment. It turns out that Sarah has a SEVERE cat allergy and that she forgot her epipen in her hotel room. To make a long story short, we ended up having to call 911 because Sarah's reaction was quite bad.

Earlier today Sarah sent my GF her ER bill. The bill is nearly $5k, and my GF says that I should pay it, since it was my cat who sent Sarah to the ER. I strongly disagree, since 1. I was not made aware of Sarah's allergy prior to her visit and 2. Sarah shouldn't have forgotten her epipen.

My GF says that I should've told her high school friends that I have a cat. I said that telling her guests that I have a cat is her responsibility, not mine, as these are her high school friends. She says that I'm financially punishing someone for a simple mistake.

This furry fiasco highlights a thorny issue: who’s responsible when allergies clash with hospitality? The man’s refusal to pay Sarah’s $5,000 ER bill stems from a clear boundary—nobody warned him about her severe cat allergy, and she forgot her EpiPen. Meanwhile, his girlfriend’s push to make him pay suggests a deeper disconnect in their shared responsibilities.

Dr. Scott Bea, a clinical psychologist, emphasizes personal accountability in health management: “Individuals with severe allergies must proactively manage their condition, including communicating risks”. Sarah’s failure to ask about pets or bring her EpiPen shifts the primary responsibility to her. The girlfriend, as the host, also had a role to play in ensuring her guests’ safety, yet she deflects blame onto her partner.

This situation reflects a broader issue: navigating health risks in social settings. A 2022 study by the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America found that 1 in 10 adults has a pet allergy, yet many fail to disclose it before visiting homes. The man’s stance is reasonable, but the girlfriend’s insistence risks straining their relationship over misplaced guilt.

For a solution, open dialogue is crucial. The couple should discuss hosting duties, like informing guests about pets. Sarah could be gently reminded to prioritize her allergy management. If the girlfriend feels strongly, she might consider contributing to the bill herself. Moving forward, clear communication can prevent such costly misunderstandings without anyone feeling clawed out.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s got claws out for this one, serving up some purr-fectly candid takes! Here’s what the community roared:

demaptchen − NTA. When you have a severe allergy, it is your responsibility to ask questions and be prepared.

shtoopee − NTA If you have a severe cat allergy the onus is on you to either ask if the people have a cat and let them know of your allergy, or to make sure you have an epipen available. Her negligence is not your responsibility, she's basically asking you to pay her 5k just because you have a cat.

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buxombride − NTA. id be re-evaluating my relationship with someone who has friends that think you are responsible for this.

highwoodshady − NTA, if you have a severe cat allergy the first question you ask before going to someone's home you have never been to before is 'do you have a cat?'.

john35093509 − NTA. I'm having trouble wrapping my head around your gf's statement. You're financially punishing someone for a simple mistake?. She's trying to financially punish you for someone else's mistake.. Your gf can pay it if she thinks your cat is more responsible than the friend.

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dontcareatall12345 − NTA, you would think your gf would know Sarah has a cat allergy if they were such great friends... and idk, maybe warned her??. Not your responsibility to pay.

NachoPeligroso − NTA. If Sarah has a severe cat allergy, it is on her to ask if there is a cat there. Because, you know, its not uncommon for people to have cats. If your GF is trying to press you into paying this 5k bill, I'd strongly suggest that you don't have a very good GF.

JudgeJudAITA − She says that I’m financially punishing someone for a simple mistake. And your GF is trying to financially punish you for **someone else’s** simple mistake. Not even Sarah’s mistake, though she undoubtedly screwed up not bringing her epi pen.

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The biggest mistake was by your GF. Of all the characters in the story, she is the only one who may have had knowledge of both the allergy and the cat. If anybody should be sharing Sarah’s bill, it should be your GF, not you. NTA

[Reddit User] − 5k for an ER visit? As a non-American that's insane. Anyways, if your GF knew her friend had a severe allergy and that you had a cat it's on her more than anything. You can't expect to address anybody's allergies without knowing them. Sarah should have been told about your cat but even if she used her EpiPen she would still have to go to the ER. NTA.

Brainsonastick − NTA 1) it’s the friend’s responsibility to ask if there will be a cat where she’s going if she’s that allergic, just as someone with a peanut allergy has to ask about peanuts. 2) even if it weren’t, your girlfriend was playing hostess so the responsibility would fall to her to warn guests about hazards in your shared apartment. For example, if you owned a live grenade and kept it on the mantle, it would be her job to warn her own guests not to go near it.

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3) even if it were somehow your responsibility... if she says that YOU are financially punishing someone for making a small mistake, what does she think SHE is doing to YOU?. 4) tell her the cat should pay because the cat is the one who did the actual damage..

The US government is TA for our f**ked up healthcare system.. Sarah is TA for asking your GF to pay for her own f**k-up.. Your GF is TA for pushing that burden onto you.. You’re just an innocent bystander who made the totally normal choice to own a cat.. Cat is TA because cats are assholes.

These Reddit hot takes are sharp, but do they scratch the surface of the real issue, or are they just chasing their tails?

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This tale of a cat, an allergy, and a hefty bill leaves us wondering: where does personal responsibility end and hospitality begin? The man’s standing firm, but his girlfriend’s push for him to pay has Reddit hissing. What would you do if a guest’s medical emergency landed at your doorstep? Drop your thoughts below—let’s keep this cat-fight of ideas going!

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