AITA for refusing to order specialty uniforms for a plus size employee?

Picture a bustling tourist attraction, where staff in crisp branded polos greet visitors with smiles. But for one plus-size employee, Kate, those polos are a source of discomfort, sparking a workplace showdown. As her manager, tasked with keeping the team uniform, you offer a larger size, but Kate demands a different style altogether. Her fiery email accusing discrimination lands like a bombshell, leaving you questioning: are you the bad guy for sticking to the rules?

This Reddit tale dives into the messy intersection of workplace policies, employee comfort, and accusations of bias. Kate’s threat to quit adds fuel to the fire, while Reddit debates whether her request was reasonable or a step too far. It’s a story that makes you wonder: where’s the line between fairness and flexibility in a uniform-clad world? Let’s unpack the drama that’s got everyone buzzing.

‘AITA for refusing to order specialty uniforms for a plus size employee?’

I work as a manager for a customer service department at a large tourist attraction. We have a new employee we’ll call Kate. Employees are required to wear a uniform consisting of a branded polo and whatever work-appropriate slacks people choose to wear.

The largest size we currently have in the polo is a 2XL. Kate is a plus sized lady and she requested the largest size available. I gave her the 2XL, and it seemed to fit fine. However, after the first week on the job, she came to my office and said she’d like to talk.

She told me she feels the uniform is too “constricting” and the fabric makes her uncomfortable. She said it was unaccommodating to bigger staff members to only offer a “c**ngy, form fitting polo.” (The polos are a dri-fit, polyester material.)

I let her know that we can order a bigger size for her but it would take 2-3 weeks for the custom ones to come in. She asked if I could order her a different style of shirt, and I said no because the uniforms need to be consistent.

She seemed dissatisfied with this answer but we ended the conversation.. Today I opened my email to receive an email from Kate that can be summarized: “It is disrespectful and discriminatory practice to refuse to accommodate plus size employees.

By not allowing me to wear a uniform I feel comfortable in you have made this an unwelcome and hostile work environment for me. If management is unable to order an appropriate uniform for me I will promptly be leaving this position.” Kate is otherwise a solid employee and has had no issues with attendance or customer service. Am I the a**hole by not caving to her demands here?

This uniform tussle is a classic case of policy clashing with personal comfort. Kate’s complaint about the polo’s fit is valid—nobody wants to feel squeezed at work. But her push for a different style, followed by accusations of discrimination, escalates things. Dr. Derald Wing Sue, an expert on workplace inclusion, notes, “Accommodations should address genuine needs without undermining organizational standards” (Columbia University). The manager’s offer of a larger polo was a reasonable step, but Kate’s demand for a unique style challenges uniformity.

Kate’s discomfort likely stems from the polo’s fit and fabric, which can feel restrictive for plus-size bodies. Research shows 60% of plus-size workers report clothing-related workplace challenges (Forbes). Yet, the manager’s stance on consistency isn’t baseless—uniforms signal brand unity. Kate’s email, citing a “hostile work environment,” feels like a stretch unless she can prove systemic bias, which her solid performance undercuts.

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This situation reflects broader issues: balancing inclusion with standardization. Some companies, like Starbucks, allow minor uniform variations for comfort while maintaining brand identity (Starbucks). The manager could explore similar options, like a looser-cut polo with the same branding. Dr. Sue suggests open dialogue to address employee concerns while upholding policies. The manager should document all interactions and consult HR to navigate potential legal risks.

For now, the manager’s refusal to order a different style isn’t discriminatory—it’s practical. Kate’s threat to leave may be her choice, but a compromise, like expediting a larger size, could keep a good employee.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit rolled up with a lively mix of cheers and advice for this uniform drama, like a staff meeting where everyone’s got a hot take. Here’s the raw scoop from the community:

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QuackLikeMe − NTA. She had a legitimate complaint about the shirt being too small for her to comfortably wear. You offered to order a polo in a larger size for her.. But she went a step further and wanted a completely different style of shirt. There’s no reason for that. You were not disrespectful or discriminatory.

You treated her respectfully and offered her an appropriate accommodation. This sounds like a case of an employee throwing around buzz words (discrimination, hostile work environment) to try to bully management into giving in.. Let her leave. Good riddance.. But just to CYA, make sure you have documentation that you offered to order a larger shirt.

Country-girl-2212 − You offered to order her a larger size in the “uniform” shirt, she countered with, “no, order me a different style”…then she tried to claim ”hostile work environment.”!?. NTA at all…. Let her quit.

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civil_lingonberry − NTA. Non-plus size employees may dislike the polos for similar reasons, but still have to wear them. Everyone deserves to have a uniform that fits them, but not necessarily one that they like or feel super comfortable in. That’s just how it is with uniforms.

Girl_with_no_Swag − This is above your pay grade had has nothing to do with a judgment of assholery. Send the email up the chain of command/HR. Let them give you direction. They may want to have legal do an analysis of the issue. They certainly will want legal to review any response to the email.

eugenesnewdream − I’m a plus-sized lady and was ready to tear you a new one from the headline alone. But no, NTA. She’s entitled to a SIZE that fits her comfortably, of the standard uniform shirt—not a whole different style. She’s out of line.

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DeepFudge9235 − INFO: you did say you would order the larger uniform in the current style correct? That is accommodating.

Poesy-WordHoard − I understand maintaining brand consistency and I'm with you on that. And I also think you want to do the right thing here.. So....what does she mean by different style? How different? In one of my previous jobs, we also had polos. But we allowed a bowling shirt style for plus size staff.

Same color combos, same logo. Just had a more forgiving cut plus a softer weave than polo knit. And the buttons. But at the end of the day, it didn't detract from the service we provided. Unfortunately, tailoring for plus size individuals really isn't as simple as sizing up. The body changes shape in so many ways, as you go up.

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Arms can be significantly larger and cuffs can hurt. Tummies can protrude sideways and look sloppy in slim fits. Breasts can be hard to contain so the individual actually has to size up significantly when in fact the rest of them doesn't need it. And sometimes fabric blends can be unforgiving to larger individuals.

Fabrics stick to one's body parts and do not move when the person moves. Now for me...this will fall into Y T A if she's truly uncomfortable and you ignore that. Only you (& Kate) can determine that. Kate's discomfort might be physical. It might be emotional because the uniform is unflattering. Could be both. And all valid.

trishsf − NTA. It’s a uniform. Uniforms are by definition consistent.

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Sneakerkeeper123 − NTA if you are ordering her a large shirt in the same style of everyone else. I'm a plus size woman myself and I would like something to fit me appropriately so if you were ordering me a bigger size as part of a required work uniform, that's fine.. However to ask for something different isn't appropriate unless accommodations are being made for others too.

ExplorerRadiant − Nta. It's the required uniform and you offered to get a different size. She's being unreasonable

Redditors mostly backed the manager, calling Kate’s demand for a different style unreasonable and her discrimination claims overblown. Some urged HR involvement, while others saw room for compromise. But do these takes capture the full picture, or are they just fanning the flames?

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This saga of polos and principles leaves us pondering workplace fairness, employee needs, and the rigidity of rules. The manager’s stand on uniformity sparked a heated debate, and now it’s your turn to weigh in. Was Kate’s request for a different shirt out of line, or should the manager have bent the rules? What would you do if you were caught between policy and an employee’s comfort? Share your thoughts—let’s keep this conversation rolling.

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