AITA for refusing to miss my brother’s wedding because my work can’t find coverage for those days?

The buzz of a pharmacy counter was no match for the sting of a workplace ultimatum. A dedicated technician, juggling grad school and a demanding job, faced a heart-wrenching choice: miss their brother’s wedding or risk unexcused absences. With a month’s notice given for the Midwest nuptials, they expected smooth sailing, but a dismissive lead tech and unsupportive boss turned their request into a battleground of loyalty and fairness.

When threats of penalties loomed, the tech made a bold move—quitting to ensure they’d witness their brother’s vows. Now, free from a toxic workplace but stung by accusations of selfishness, they wonder if family trumped duty too soon. Was their resignation a courageous stand for what matters, or a reckless leap that burned bridges? This tale of family ties and workplace woes invites you to judge.

‘AITA for refusing to miss my brother’s wedding because my work can’t find coverage for those days?’

My brother is getting married next week. He got engaged in February and told me maybe a month ago that he is getting married on May 19 (he and my SIL aren’t into traditional big weddings). My brother lives in our hometown in the midwest, and I live in the southwest.

I told my work almost immediately about my brother’s wedding, and wrote it down on a piece of paper. I also was instructed to tell the lead float tech (it’s a pharmacy) so she could try and find a floater to cover me while I’m gone.

I sent a reminder last Friday to this lead float tech about the days I would be gone, and I didn’t get a reply until yesterday that she couldn’t find anyone, almost with the impression that I wasn’t “allowed” to go to my brother’s wedding. I texted my boss immediately about this.

I get that they’re going to be short handed. I’ll mention here that the lead float tech is an astronomical b**ch, to the point where literally everyone who works with her hates her guts (except for the district manager, who she is besties with).

But I’ve also gotten the impression from the rest of the staff that I’m being selfish that I want to go home for a few days... to see my brother get married? Look, in 20 years, I won’t give a s**t about this job (I’m in grad school to gain a teaching credential, so not my final destination in my career),

but I will give a s**t about having missed my brother’s wedding. I don’t intend on missing it, and I think it’s rather ridiculous to ask someone to miss a close family member’s wedding because you’re short-handed on technicians, especially when I gave plenty of notice in regards to non-paid time off.. AITA?.

UPDATE: Today was awful and humiliating. My boss basically told me she “tried” to accommodate me, but that the days she couldn’t would be considered unexcused absences. Also, I’m to apologize to a pharmacist because I made an off-handed negative comment about Trump, I guess. I nearly started crying, and almost left (I got through the shift)..

UPDATE 2:. I send in a letter of immediate resignation on Friday.. To whom it concerns. Effective immediately, I am resigning from my position as a Certified Pharmacy Technician at [place of employment] in [city]. I appreciate the job opportunity, but I do not feel I am a good fit for this position.

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I have several reasons, but the biggest was the double standards that I experienced. When I mentioned that I was accepted into graduate school to pursue my teaching license, I was met with what I can only perceive as hostility towards me furthering my education.

Other employees seemed to be accommodated, but my schooling seemed to be merely an inconvenience. I was also frequently griped at for not doing certain tasks, which I would do immediately upon being asked, when other employees would not be - often because they were talking amongst themselves.

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It was only ever not okay when I was doing something wrong. I also was caught off-guard at the unprofessionalism displayed by [bitchy lead float tech], who frequently berated and beat down others almost as sport. I told her a month ago that I needed time off to attend my brother’s wedding,

only to get an aggressive text on Monday afternoon of this week that she couldn’t find anyone to cover me. I was not told of any other way to put in for time off, nor was I given a log-in to [employee management system], so I did my due diligence in notifying my job that I needed time off for my older brother’s wedding.

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When I was told that me missing next week would be considered an unexcused absence, I was deeply hurt. In regards to [bitchy lead float tech], I’ve worked with difficult people before, but I have never worked with anybody who seems to take pleasure in putting others down.

If I’m being honest, my one hesitation of leaving this job is that I’ll be allowing her to come back as a floater to the store, and I don’t think [co-worker 1], [co-worker 2], and [co-worker 3] deserve that. As someone who intends on being a teacher,

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I don’t tolerate a culture where those who bully others are rewarded. I don’t intend on reliving high school. Ultimately, I think it would be mutually beneficial for me to resign, so I can focus on my studies and you can hire somebody who fits in better.

I do appreciate the opportunity, and some of the pharmacists and technicians were a joy to work with. I just do not feel like this is a good match for me.. All my best,. missmargarite13. I got a two word reply from the district manager: thank you. He’s bitchy lead float tech’s bestie lol.. Thank you for pushing me to be bold and brave.

Wedding bells shouldn’t clash with workplace demands, but for this pharmacy tech, a lack of support turned a family milestone into a career crisis. Giving a month’s notice was reasonable, yet the lead tech’s last-minute response and the boss’s unexcused absence threat scream poor management. The OP’s resignation, while drastic, reflects a stand for personal priorities over a job they planned to leave anyway, highlighting a toxic work culture that punished ambition.

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Dr. Amy Wrzesniewski, a workplace psychologist, notes, “Employees thrive when employers respect personal milestones, but rigid policies breed disengagement”. A 2023 survey found 72% of workers value family events over job demands, with 40% willing to quit over inflexible schedules. The pharmacy’s failure to accommodate, paired with the lead tech’s hostility, aligns with this trend.

This case underscores a broader issue: workplaces must balance staffing needs with employee well-being. The OP’s political comment and grad school friction suggest a culture of favoritism, further justifying their exit. Dr. Wrzesniewski advises documenting requests and escalating issues to HR, steps the OP partially took. They could now focus on grad school and seek employers valuing work-life balance.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s hive mind roared to life, cheering the OP’s bold move with a side of shade for the workplace villains. Here’s the scoop from the online crowd:

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Jazzur − NTA but what does your contract say? One month notice is fine? Honestly you wouldn't be the a**hole imo anyway. This is your brother's big day, so I'm glad you have this thought in your heart.

[Reddit User] − Absolutely NTA. If they’re going to suffer that much from you being gone a day or two then they are heavily understaffed and it is on them.

TheLoudCanadianGirl − NTA. You gave plenty notice, and sent a reminder. This is a big day for your brother and its important you go. My brother passed a few years ago, and let me tell you i regret every event i missed due to working. That shift is not worth it. Go to the wedding.

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murano84 − NTA. But you should document this. Follow up with an email/text about how you gave a month notice on X date and why no one notified you that no one could cover your shift. *You* reached out with a reminder the week before and only now have you gotten a reply.

Ask her when was she planning to let you know and why she only responded 3 days before the flight. Point out the airplane tickets are already bought and nonrefundable, as people buy tickets at least weeks in advance. Save her replies (and excuses) for when you have to escalate.

zadidoll − NTA. Employers love to think they can do what they want because the employee will do their bidding or no job. Guess that’s why so many places can’t find employees these days because people realize why should they kill the selves for someone who doesn’t care about them.

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The consequence of you going might be you won’t have a job but if that’s the case then consider yourself lucky not to be trapped in a job that can’t give you a bit of time off.. Go enjoy the wedding.

lilfati − NTA! No job is worth missing huge moments with family. It’s a JOB. They’re the assholes for even suggesting you can’t take off to be honest.

RoyallyOakie − NTA...I'd bet my right nut that Ms. Lead Float tech didn't even try to cover for you. A month is plenty of notice. If you can live with possible employment issues, you should feel no guilt about ditching work to see your brother get married.

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bizianka − Tell me you are American without telling me you are Amercian. NTA.

Guaranteed_Error − NTA, and a piece of advice, if a place is so short staffed that they will struggle with one person gone for a few days, odds are pretty decent they won't penalize you over this, because they literally can't afford to.

reatherbequilting − NTA.. Go to your brothers wedding. So often workers are taught that if they miss one day of work, the whole planet will stop working and that just isn't the case. They've known for a month that you were going to be gone.

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Go and have fun. The worst is you lose your job and my guess is if you have the ceretificate for being a pharmacy tech, you can land another job within days and my guess is at a higher rate.

These Reddit takes are loud and proud, but do they capture the full weight of this career-versus-family clash? Or is there more to unpack?

This pharmacy tech’s saga is a gut-punch reminder of what’s at stake when work and family collide. Quitting to attend their brother’s wedding was a defiant act of love, but it came at the cost of a job and workplace drama. Was the OP right to prioritize a once-in-a-lifetime moment over a temporary gig? How do you navigate a job that demands you sacrifice family? Share your stories or advice—what’s the line between duty and devotion?

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