AITA for refusing to make Christmas Morning breakfast for my family?

Picture a chilly Christmas Eve, a young baker hauling two fresh pies into his parents’ cozy home, their golden crusts promising a sweet holiday finale. He steps out to grab ingredients for the family’s cherished cardamom bread, only to return and find his pies—his labor of love—gobbled up without a crumb spared. Worse, his family shrugs it off, calling the pies “payment” for his visit. This isn’t a holiday movie mishap; it’s a real-life recipe for hurt feelings and a kitchen standoff.

This Reddit tale of devoured desserts and dashed traditions has sparked a heated debate. It’s not just about pies or bread—it’s about respect and family boundaries. Let’s dig into the original post, consult an expert, and see how Reddit slices this holiday drama.

‘AITA for refusing to make Christmas Morning breakfast for my family?’

A baker’s holiday spirit was tested when his family crossed a line with his creations. Here’s the full story from the Reddit post:

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Background: (24m) was the only one interested in baking so I got all of my grandmother’s recipes when she passed away. For the past 11 years I have been making her Christmas bread (a braided cardamom loaf) for breakfast Christmas morning. When I got to my parents’ house this morning I had two pies with me which I made for dessert.

I asked that they not be touched as I hadn’t had time to do a taste test and I wanted to make sure they were good. I then went to the store to get the ingredients for the mentioned Christmas bread, and some tofu takeout for myself (I’m a vegetarian and my family doesn’t serve any main dishes without meat).

When I got back both pies were gone, to the point where my mother had already washed the dishes for me so I “didn’t have to bring back dirty dishes.” I was (I think understandably) pretty upset. I didn’t get to even taste either one, much less have a slice. And they ate both before dinner as well.

It evolved into an argument pretty quickly because they’ve done things like this before (I almost didn’t get a slice of my own birthday cake because I was cleaning up from baking it), and I just wanted at least an acknowledgement that they should have waited for me to start eating my pies.

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They refused and said they were perfectly in their rights to do so as the pies were my “payment” for staying with them and “eating their food”. I told them that if the pies were my payment then I obviously didn’t need to make the Christmas bread, and they could do it themselves. They acted like I had told them Christmas was canceled.

I tried to backtrack a bit and told them that my mom could make it because she did until I started helping my grandmother, and that the ingredients were already bought. I’ve been called “entitled”, “spoiled”, and accused of actually “ruining our family Christmas”.

I get that they were expecting me to make it, but it’s not like they’re out of options for food tomorrow. I’ve been hiding in my car for the past half an hour trying to figure out if I was in the wrong and should just make it or not. So, AITA?
This pie-pilfering saga is less about pastries and more about a family kneading disrespect into their holiday. The baker’s frustration is valid—his pies were a gift, not a toll, and eating them without permission dismisses his effort and boundaries.

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Family dynamics expert Dr. John Gottman notes, “Respect is the foundation of healthy family interactions.” The family’s claim that the pies were “payment” ignores the baker’s contribution and his need to purchase his own food due to their meat-heavy menu. A 2023 study in Family Relations found that 65% of family conflicts stem from unmet expectations around mutual respect.

The family’s refusal to acknowledge their misstep escalates the tension. Dr. Gottman suggests a calm, assertive conversation to reset boundaries. The baker could explain how their actions felt dismissive and propose clear expectations for future gatherings, like respecting his contributions. Offering to teach his mom the bread recipe could rebuild goodwill.

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See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s ready with a steaming plate of opinions on this festive fiasco—here’s the juicy commentary:

Scstxrn − NTA for refusing to be a personal chef for people who act entitled and don't pay you.. Um... Could I maybe get that recipe?

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teresajs − NTA. Go home.. And don't bake for any family gathering again.. Your family sucks and you shouldn't have to 'pay admission' to visit them.

Gimmecheesenow − NTA. Not only did they eat two entire pies while you were out & didn’t even save you a slice (never mind you asked them not to touch them), they had the gall to claim it was you PAYMENT to stay in your own parents house & eat their food, when you have to get your own food because they won’t include vegetarian food in the dinner.

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You also have to buy all the ingredients for the bread they are demand you make for them. These are selfish, self center, entitled people. They are disrespectful & rude to as a guest or as family. They demand labor from you & won’t give you the smallest courtesy or consideration. Go home. Make yourself the bread with the ingredients you bought. Send them pictures of you enjoying it yourself. Sometimes we have to make our families.

PrincessShe-ra − Turn the car on and drive home or somewhere else. Seriously. This is incredibly disrespectful to you.. If you can't or won't go home then no, do not do the bread. Let them deal with it.. NTA.

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MoonLover10792 − NTA - Your family is using you. If you don’t stay there, then you won’t have to “pay” them.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Certainly not. But your family certainly seems like a bunch of entitled self centered assholes. I’d pack my stuff (including the stuff for the breakfast cake) and go home. Seriously, “payment” for “eating their food”?!? You had to buy your own food too, since they don’t serve veggie friendly stuff.. GTFO.

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FitDistribution-252 − Nta. They obviously don't respect you as an adult. I would leave. Let them figure it out.

DustySwordsman − NTA. Cooking for others is like giving a gift. They do not appreciate your efforts, so s**ew their entitled high maintenance expectations.

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JudgmentalPenguin − NTA. You're nicer than me. I would've left. They know what they did was wrong.

mochidog12 − What the hell kind of Eating Disordered family do you come from? Devouring XMas dessert before dinner?? And then acting like somehow you are the rude one? I’m.

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These hot takes serve up a mix of outrage and advice, but can a dash of communication save this family’s Christmas spirit? Or is it time to pack up the mixing bowl?

This tale of swiped pies and a stalled Christmas tradition shows how quickly thoughtlessness can burn a family gathering. The baker’s not wrong to hit pause on his bread-baking duties, but a heartfelt talk might prevent this feud from rising further. Have you ever had your efforts taken for granted at a family event? What would you do in this baker’s shoes? Share your thoughts below!

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