AITA For refusing to look after my sister?

Imagine a quiet evening walk, earbuds in, music drowning out the world—a rare escape for a young person reeling from their father’s death. But for this Reddit poster, those walks come with a catch: their autistic 13-year-old sister, who needs constant supervision, tagging along at their overwhelmed mother’s insistence. When a refusal to babysit leads to the sister wandering into trouble, the family fractures further, with tears and accusations flying.

This story is a gut-punch of grief, duty, and boundaries. Is the poster wrong for craving a break from caregiving, or is their mother leaning too hard on them in her own pain? It’s a raw, relatable tale that dives into the messy heart of family obligations.

‘AITA For refusing to look after my sister?’

This Reddit post lays bare the strain of a family navigating loss and caregiving. Here’s the poster’s story, unfiltered:

This family’s struggle is a stark reminder of how grief and caregiving can overwhelm even the strongest bonds. The poster’s refusal to supervise their sister stems from being thrust into a parental role, handling daily tasks like meals, hygiene, and school runs. Their mother’s insistence, while born of desperation, unfairly burdens a sibling.

Dr. Pauline Boss, an expert on ambiguous loss, notes, “Grief can strain family roles, especially when one member becomes an unwilling caregiver” (Source). A 2023 study in Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders found that 60% of families with autistic children report caregiver burnout, often impacting siblings (Source). The mother’s reaction—calling the poster “evil”—deflects her own struggle onto them.

The poster’s need for personal space is valid, but running off left their sister vulnerable. “Families need external support, like respite care, to ease sibling burdens,” Boss advises. The mother should seek resources, such as autism support programs, to lighten the load. The poster could set clear boundaries, like designated break times, while still helping occasionally.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit brought the heat, with opinions as varied as a family reunion. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

These Reddit takes are as raw as a fresh wound, but do they miss the nuance of grief’s impact on family roles?

This story is a bittersweet mix of loss, love, and limits. The poster’s stand for a break is understandable, but their mother’s cry for help shows a family stretched thin. Could a compromise, like scheduled support or external help, ease the tension? What would you do if asked to shoulder a sibling’s care during a family crisis? Share your thoughts—have you ever had to draw a line to protect your own mental space?