AITA for refusing to let my parents see my daughter?

A 27-year-old woman has refused to let her parents meet her four-year-old daughter after years of unresolved trauma tied to her upbringing. She has been estranged from her family for nearly six years, largely due to her father’s dismissive and cruel behavior during her adolescence and early adulthood. While her mother was less overtly harmful, her consistent refusal to stand up to her husband left lasting resentment and emotional distance.

As a teenager, the woman suffered from extreme pain connected to her menstrual cycle, which her father repeatedly dismissed as attention-seeking. He blocked access to specialists, minimized medical emergencies, and prioritized his own comfort over her health. Years later, after receiving a confirmed diagnosis and enduring multiple miscarriages, his comments crossed another line. What followed was a final rupture that now extends to whether her parents deserve a role in her daughter’s life.

‘AITA for refusing to let my parents see my daughter?’

The poster explains why she cut off contact with her parents years ago.

I(27F) have not been back to see my family for nearly 6 years. I don’t have as much against my mom personally and my issue is mostly with my father.

But my mom can’t seem to stand up to him and does whatever he wants. So I don’t want to interact with her out of frustration that she won’t change.

She describes years of severe medical pain that her father dismissed.

My father did not believe me when I younger and thought I was making up my pain. I have been having issues with extreme pain around my period since they...

He prevented me from getting appointments with specialist doctors because it would cost co pays. We were not well off but my brother got karate and swimming classes and I...

We were traveling for vacation when I had so much pain in my abdomen I was screaming and they wanted to turn around the plane. My father was yelling at...

The conflict escalated after her diagnosis, miscarriages, and her father’s comments.

He was telling the flight attendants I was fine and just to keep flying. I was brought to a hospital when we landed but my dad spent the whole time...

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It turned out to be ovarian torsion and I needed surgery. He refused to get me real help because we went to a doctor once and they told me it...

He kept telling me I was just attention seeking and then yelled at me for not getting into a good college(which I couldn’t because I was too debilitated to study...

It wasn’t until I got on insurance through work I started to really look into what was wrong. It took a few years but I finally got exploratory surgery and...

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I was so relieved I cried and felt so much weight off my shoulders knowing finally what was wrong. Obviously with endometriosis came fertility issues.

It took 3 miscarriages and 4 years(and surgery) to have my daughter. My dad in front of me told my husband he wouldn’t blame him if he divorced me because...

I screamed at him and cried and he made it seem like it wasn’t a big deal for him to say because everyone was expecting it. Now my daughter is...

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He has now started bothering my husband and I picked up and yelled at him for ignoring my pain and telling my husband to divorce me for not getting pregnant.

He defended himself by saying he doesn’t know how “female issues” work and he didn’t think I had a real issue.

And his defence for what he said to my husband was because he didn’t want my husband to feel bad about leaving when I kept having miscarriages. I hung up...

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At the core of this conflict is a pattern of repeated disbelief, minimization, and emotional harm. The father’s refusal to seek continued medical care, combined with public shaming and dismissive language, contributed to years of untreated illness and emotional distress. These actions did not end in childhood but continued into adulthood, especially during an already vulnerable period marked by infertility and pregnancy loss.

From an opposing perspective, some may argue that forgiveness could offer closure or that the father acted out of ignorance rather than malice. However, ignorance does not negate responsibility, particularly when harm is ongoing and apologies are absent. The mother’s role as a passive bystander further complicates the situation, as inaction can reinforce damaging behavior.

From a broader social standpoint, this story reflects persistent issues around dismissing women’s pain and prioritizing family reputation over well-being. The poster’s decision centers not on punishment, but on protection—both for herself and for her child—raising important questions about accountability, boundaries, and what reconciliation truly requires.

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Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Many users strongly support the poster, emphasizing safety and long-term accountability.

[Reddit User] − NTA. And when your daughter goes to school, tell the teachers that your parents aren't allowed anywhere near her.

IamIrene − Why would you ever think that your TA here? Clearly your father is. I wouldn't expose my child to that for anything. NTA. And I'm so sorry for...

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[Reddit User] − I'm sorry, but if *one doctor* told me my child's pain was all in her head, and she still was in pain, you can bet I'd have...

And when proven that the doctor was wrong because she needed surgery, I'd be on my knees begging her for forgiveness, not whining that she was ruining my vacation by...

That would have been the point at which I resolved to go no contact when I turned 18. And suggesting divorce as a reasonable response to infertility and miscarriages?

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I most certainly wouldn't allow someone that misogynistic, self-centered and cold hearted around my baby girl. You are absolutely NTA.

ninjastarkid − NTA. If he knows nothing about “female issues” then he has no right to speak about them. He should be on his hands and knees begging for forgiveness...

Plain and simple abuse. Get your husband to back you up. All of your fathers claims are honestly disgusting.

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Tell your parents if they want to ever see your kid, they need to apologize and respect you. They have no right to your child, and you refuse to expose...

Other commenters acknowledge complexity while still backing the poster’s stance.

Raedriann − "I don't know how female issues work. " Then maybe believe a FEMALE. NTA. You have a daughter. He doesn't know enough about females to be a grandfather...

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NomNom83WasTaken − NTA You don't owe anyone a relationship with you and, by extension, your child. You've set a boundary and have every right to maintain it for any or...

2moms3grls − NTA - You are doing just fine with out him. Much better than when you were with him! Stand strong, nope, dad, until you can apologize, no visits.

Get your husband on board (it sounds like he is). Also, this can't possibly be a healthy person for your child to be around. We've made some tough decisions about...

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but since "grandma" can't help but make every event about herself, including her grandchildren's events, we haven't seen her for years. Protect yourself. Protect your kid. Protect your family.

A few users used humor and bluntness to cut through the tension.

ComedicHermit − The thing is i clocked endometriosis with my complete lack of a medical degree by the time i got to the word abdomen. And your dad's behavior got...

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NanaLeonie − NTA. Your father was a sadistic, ignorant, cheap AH who ignored your suffering and indulged the wants of his favorite children, the boys.

Your mother was his enabler and too cowardly or too stupid or too uncaring to stand up for you. Neither of them deserve to ever meet your child.

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PuddleLilacAgain − NTA and WTF is wrong with your father. Does he just really hate women? ?? Oh, and sorry, but this is a no-go for your mother, too.

This story centers on unresolved harm, accountability, and a parent’s decision to protect her child from a cycle of dismissal and emotional injury. The poster’s refusal is rooted in years of experience rather than a single incident, raising important questions about forgiveness without change.

Should family ties outweigh past behavior when children are involved? What does a sincere apology look like after years of denial? Readers are invited to share their thoughts and experiences navigating boundaries with parents and grandparents in similar situations.

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