AITA for refusing to let my daughter go to dinner with her boyfriends family?

Imagine allowing your daughter to go on a scenic day hike with her boyfriend’s family, thinking it’s just another wholesome outing in nature. Now imagine receiving a call hours later from a forest ranger saying she was found injured and abandoned on the trail. That’s the nightmare this mother faced—an event that not only broke her daughter’s bones but also shattered her trust.

As her daughter sobbed not just from the pain of a broken ankle but the sting of betrayal, the mother took swift action. But when the ex-boyfriend showed up later asking for a dinner to “make amends,” she slammed the door—figuratively and literally. Harsh? Overprotective? Or simply a mother doing what’s right? Let’s break down this emotional dilemma.

‘AITA for refusing to let my daughter go to dinner with her boyfriends family?’

I (38f) have a daughter (17f). A couple of weeks ago her boyfriend (19M)'s family went on a day hike. They asked my daughter to come. All of them including my daughter love to hike. I didn't think it would be a issue and let her go. I was wrong. From what the forest service guy told me.

Along with what my daughter said. There was a rock slide halfway up the trail. My daughter fell and got hurt. Her boyfriends family decided to finish the hike to the top and come back later to help her down.. Even after my daughter told them she was in horrible pain.

After a couple of hours the forest service ranger (FSR) found her. He loaded her on a 4 wheeler and helped her down the hill. The FSR called me. I immediately came. We left a note on BF's car along with the FSR stayed in the area. To let them know my daughter was taken to the hospital.

The whole way to the hospital she was sobbing. Not only from the pain but because they left her. It deeply hurt her. She broke her foot/a**le in 3 places. She needed surgery. The 2 days she was in the hospital. They didn't check on her once. We saw their post and photos on social media from the top of the mountain.

Talking about what a great time they had. Seeing how hurt she was. We spoke to our daughter about what happened and what she wanted from this relationship. She told us she didn't want to be with her BF anymore. She sent her BF a text saying she was breaking up with him. After a flood of messages. we all blocked him and his family.

6 days ago. We started getting notes taped to our cars, doors, some left for her in the office at school. Yesterday ex BF came to the house.( I opened my main door but left my securityScreen door closed. talking through it.) He asked if his family could take my daughter to dinner as an apology.

Since his family didnt think what they did was wrong but, he loved her and his family wanted to clear the air between them.. This is probably where I am the A. I flat out told him he is not allowed to take my daughter anywhere. I stressed Since he chose to leave my daughter when she was hurt. I no longer trusted him to be around her.

Then shut the main door before he could say anything else. Now some of our mutual friends are saying I am an A for not allowing them to 'make it up' to our daughter and closing the door on him.. Am I allowing my mama bear judgment of this 19yr. old cloud the right thing to do here?. Am I the A?

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In this situation, the mother’s decision is not just driven by emotion—it’s a rational response to a deeply traumatic experience her daughter endured. Leaving a 17-year-old girl injured and alone in the wilderness is not only irresponsible, it’s dangerous. While the ex-boyfriend’s family may have extended a dinner invitation as a form of apology, if they still don’t believe they did anything wrong, the gesture is meaningless and potentially harmful.

Psychologically, being abandoned while in pain and vulnerable can leave lasting scars. The priority now should be emotional healing and ensuring the daughter feels safe, not putting her back in front of those who caused her distress just for the sake of reconciliation.

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Moreover, the lack of concern shown by the boyfriend’s family—no hospital visit, no phone calls, and social media posts celebrating the hike while she was in surgery—demonstrates a clear lack of empathy and maturity. Actions speak louder than words, and in this case, their actions were loud and clear.

From a parental perspective, the mother’s refusal to let her daughter interact with them again is not overprotective—it’s protective, full stop. She’s drawing a firm boundary that says, “You don’t get to hurt my child and walk back in like nothing happened.”

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Sometimes the healthiest decision isn’t about giving people second chances; it’s about knowing when someone has shown you who they truly are—and believing them. In this case, it’s about preserving the daughter’s sense of self-worth and mental well-being, which far outweighs the value of forced apologies or awkward dinners.

See what others had to share with OP:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—blunt, biting, and brutally honest:

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PublicAggressive5410 - NTA.. 1) he still doesn't think it was wrong to leave your daughter when she was hurt. 2) his family doesn't think they were wrong for leaving her when she was hurt.. 3) neither the bf or his family came to the hospital after she needed surgery.

4) no attempt has been with an apology (even an insincere one). 5) their idea of 'clearing the air' is probably gaslight your daughter into thinking she was over reacting.. 6) if he truly loved your daughter none of the above would have happened.. Again, NTA

mygreyangel - NTA pity he didn't love her enough not to desert a vulnerable, injured, teenager in the middle of nowhere for hours, totally unable to seek help for herself, scared and in severe pain.. He got away lightly.

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MsBaseball34 - NTA and honestly I would get a restraining order. They left an underage girl with a broken a**le on a trail. That's child endangerment. They could have charges pressed. She needs to be very, very far away from these horrible people.

MyName___YourName - NTA and you might want to consider getting a no contact order if boyfriend or his family continue to try to communicate with your daughter, let alone show up uninvited to your home or leave notes on your cars.

ETA I'm also just putting together that he's slightly older so he doesn't even go to her school. The school should be somehow looped in that you don't want these people communicating with her or leaving notes for her there.

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DisneyBuckeye - OMG no, NTA in any way. They LEFT your daughter on a trail in the forest with a broken foot/a**le and never once followed up until she broke up with him. That's some b**lshit. If he loved her that much, he would have taken her to the hospital immediately or contacted the FSP for help instead of continuing his hike.

You were 100% in the right to keep him away from her. And if he and his family continue to harass you, contact the police. Honestly, now that I've said that, it might not be bad to contact them now and give them a heads up about this potential stalking behavior.

XxTheBadgerXx - NTA. These people seem to be all about “show”, and as soon as daughter became inconvenient to that show- they ditched her and went on with what they wanted.. Just can’t trust them, period.

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SnooPets8873 - NTA your friends are out of their minds. Their behavior is shocking and disgusting. Good on you for helping her get space and telling them to back off. I mean the fact that they’d not think they’ve done anything wrong????

Ok_Homework8692 - NTA Do your friends know the entire story? If they do you need new friends. And if the ex and family continue harassing you go to the police. Your daughter doesn't want to see them and who leaves a badly injured teenager and continues hiking?? And the dinner isn't to apologize since they don't think they did anything wrong - it's to 'clear the air' which sounds like a gaslighting party. The whole family sounds abusive.

hereforthelurks2022 - # NTA 100% They left your daughter in pain with multiple fractures to her foot, severe enough that it needed a two day hospital stay and surgery. Also, I'm not sure where you are based, but in my area of the world the wildlife on mountain hikes can include bears and cougars. Your daughter was to all intents and purposes defenseless.

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travelkmac - Hold on…..during a hike, your daughter fell and they left her?!!!!!. Right after, they didn’t reach out, visit, bring flowers, food, or anything?. Friends think you should show them grace or whatever? No, you do what works for you.

I would have been commenting in the social media posts “glad you got your photo op, hope it was worth abandoning a person who was injured for them” or something worse.. NTA!!!! Editing to add, I wouldn’t trust them either. If your daughter felt sick during the meal, I’m sure they’d be too busy photographing it to get her home or help.

It’s clear that many felt the boyfriend’s actions weren’t just careless—they were dangerous. Some even suggested legal action or a restraining order. Others pointed out the eerie absence of basic compassion, suggesting the family’s offer of dinner was more gaslight than goodwill. Are these just internet warriors overreacting? Or are they seeing something society often excuses—emotional neglect disguised as social grace?

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While forgiveness can be healing, it should never come at the cost of emotional safety. In this case, a mother drew a hard line to protect her daughter—not from love, but from a family that had already shown how little they valued her well-being. So, what would you do in this situation? Would you have accepted the dinner invite in hopes of peace—or shut the door just like she did? Share your thoughts in the comments—especially if you’ve ever been in a similar situation. Is it better to protect or to forgive?

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