AITA for refusing to let my adult son move in?

The winter chill settled over a quiet suburban home, where a parent’s heart wrestled with an agonizing choice. Their 35-year-old son, teetering on the edge of homelessness, demanded a place to stay, branding them a “terrible person” for refusing. Years of addiction, neglected children, and broken promises hung heavy in the air, turning love into a battlefield. This isn’t just a family feud—it’s a raw, gut-wrenching clash between devotion and self-preservation.

Posted on Reddit’s AITA forum, this story pulls us into the messy reality of loving someone who won’t help themselves. The parent’s decision, steeped in pain and resolve, sparks a debate about where love ends and enabling begins. With vivid stakes—eviction, addiction, and abandoned kids—this tale grips us, urging us to question what we’d do in their shoes.

‘AITA for refusing to let my adult son move in?’

This parent’s dilemma is a heartbreaker, pitting love against the chaos of addiction. Their son’s spiral—eviction, drug use, and abandoned kids—clashes with their instinct to protect him. Yet, his refusal to seek rehab or manage his mental health puts them in an impossible spot. The son’s accusation of being a “terrible parent” stings, but their boundary reflects a painful truth: enabling can fuel destruction.

Addiction touches millions—over 20% of U.S. adults have faced substance abuse in their families, per a 2021 SAMHSA report. The parent’s choice not to house their son aligns with tough love, a strategy often recommended for loved ones of addicts. Their son’s untreated mental illness adds complexity, as non-compliance with meds is common, with 50% of patients discontinuing treatment, per the American Psychiatric Association.

Dr. Gabor Maté, an addiction expert, writes in a Psychology Today article, “Addiction thrives in isolation, but recovery begins with accountability.” The son’s refusal to engage with CPS or rehab signals he’s not ready for change, making the parent’s stance a protective one—for themselves and his children. Offering resources like Al-Anon, which the parent now attends, is a healthier way to support him.

For others in this bind, experts suggest clear boundaries: provide resource contacts (shelters, rehab) but avoid direct aid that enables addiction. This parent’s electric blanket and food were acts of care, not cruelty.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

The Reddit squad rolled in with fierce support, dishing out raw takes on this family saga. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

These Redditors backed the parent’s tough call, slamming the son’s refusal to change while praising the boundary-setting. Some suggested shelters or forced mental health evaluations, but all agreed: enabling stops here. Do these bold opinions nail the truth, or are they missing the full weight of this heartbreak?

This parent’s stand is a searing lesson in love’s limits. Their son’s addiction and neglect tore at their heart, but closing the door was an act of survival, not abandonment. By choosing Al-Anon and offering resources, they’re loving him without losing themselves. It’s a stark reminder that help only works when someone meets you halfway. What would you do if a loved one’s chaos knocked at your door? Drop your thoughts below!