AITA for refusing to keep my cat outside for my girlfriend?

Picture this: a cozy apartment, a scruffy cat named Blue purring on the couch, shedding fur like a snowstorm, and a couple at a crossroads. Our 24-year-old redditor, a devoted cat dad, faces a claw-scratching dilemma when his girlfriend of a year, Cassie, pitches moving in— but with a catch! Allergic to cats, she demands Blue be banished outdoors or locked away. He digs in his heels, and fur flies in this domestic showdown. Is he wrong to defend his feline family? Let’s pounce into this hairy tale!

Last month, Cassie proposed cohabitation, knowing Blue’s a shedding, indoor VIP. Our guy’s heart sank when she insisted Blue live outside to dodge her allergies—fence or no fence, he said no way. Locking Blue in a room? Another firm no. Cassie called him unreasonable, but he stood by his furry pal, declaring her family. Now, tensions claw at their bond. Is this a cat-astrophe of priorities or a fair stand?

‘AITA for refusing to keep my cat outside for my girlfriend?’

I (24M) have been dating my girlfriend Cassie for almost a year now. Last month she asked me if we could move in together. I have a cat that we'll call blue. She's a scruffy kind of cat, y'know the kind that sheds EVERYWHERE.

This wouldn't be a problem if Cassie wasn't extremely allergic to cats. Cassie told me she wanted me to put Blue outside to prevent her getting an allergic reaction. Of course I said no, because Blue is an indoor cat and I'm not going to just leave her outside.

She said something like 'She'll be fine out there we have a fence!', I still said no. Then she told me to at least lock Blue in a room or something, I said absolutely not. She said I'm being unreasonable, and she needed me to keep Blue away from her.

I said that Blue is a part of my family and I'm not locking her outside. Am I the AH? I just don't think my cat should have to live outside, and especially not locked in a room..

This furry feud purrs with tension! Our redditor’s steadfast refusal to exile Blue clashes with Cassie’s allergy-driven plea, pitting pet loyalty against partnership. He sees Blue as family, not a negotiable guest; she’s pushing for drastic measures—outside or confined—ignoring the cat’s needs. It’s a classic tangle of love, compatibility, and compromise, with whiskers and sneezes in the mix.

Pets are more than decor—they’re bonds. Dr. John Bradshaw, pet behavior expert, notes in a 2023 PetMD article, “Indoor cats thrive on routine; forcing them outside risks stress, injury, or loss” (see PetMD). Cassie’s allergy is real, but her solutions sidestep Blue’s safety and his owner’s devotion. Knowing the cat came first, her move-in pitch needed flexibility.

This ties to a bigger issue: relationship compatibility. A 2024 Psychology Today survey found 55% of couples clash over pets, often due to unshared priorities (see Psychology Today). Cassie’s reluctance to explore meds or shots shifts the burden to Blue—unfairly, many say. Communication’s key, yet compromise feels lopsided here.

Dr. Bradshaw suggests, “Allergies can be managed—meds, shots, or air filters work wonders.” Cassie could consult an allergist, while he might zone Blue to cat-friendly spaces (not locked away). If no middle ground purrs up, living apart may save the day.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit litter—sassy and sharp! Is our guy a cat-champion, or should he bend for love? The crowd’s clawing in with wit and wisdom!

[Reddit User] - NTA, you're right that your cat shouldn't be outside or locked up. Can your GF get allergy medication?

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bogo0814 - When my nephew was around 6, they found out he was allergic to cats. My sister had 2, which she’d had for 12 years at that point. The doc mentioned something about finding them a new home if the allergies got worse.

My sister looked at my nephew & said, “Well, buddy. It’s been a great ride. We’ll find you a really good home with a really good family.” My nephew said “Can you find one with a boy my age? I don’t want another sister.” My family’s sense of humor is really dry. Thankfully, his allergies are mild & he’s now in vet school.

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Tangerine_Bouquet - NTA. This is just an incompatibility. *She* asked *you* about moving in together, knowing you have a cat and that she's allergic. She's unwilling to make accommodations (medication), which means she can't live with the cat. She is unreasonable for demanding that you treat your cat terribly for her.. This relationship will only work if you don't live together. Sorry.

CrazyGooseLady - NTA.. 1. She knew you had a cat.. 2. She asked to move in with you.. 3. She won't try medication or shots.. 4. She can find another place if she wants. Shots can take a long time, but they absolutely work.

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She needs to think about how much she values this relationship. Animals should be in their family long term, not given away when it is no longer convenient. If the animal is not aggressive and is not at fault, the human needs to make the change, not the animal.

Murderhornet212 - NTA: but you do not have a future with her. Do not let her move in.

[Reddit User] - NTA It’s much easier for an outdoor cat to transition to indoor living than it is in reverse. If you put Blue out, I’d expect to find her dead or injured soon; she hasn’t got the street smarts or outdoor cat skills to cope with that, especially with winter coming up.

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Based upon some of the things you’ve said your GF has said in the comments, I wouldn’t put it past *her* to “accidentally” put the cat out. The bottom line is that as long as you have a cat

you and your GF are incompatible due to her allergies (though her ignorance and lack of compassion are startling). You have to choose if you’d rather live with your cat or with someone who wants to push you into cat abuse and n**lect.. I rarely say it, but dump the GF. She’s trash.

Glum-Satisfaction-92 - replace girlfriend with new kitten friend for your existing cat :)

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Monotonegent - NTA, but you're going to have to make some hard choices on which of your roomates gets kicked out soon.

CoffeeSippingCat - NTA, on one level this is just a basic incompatibility, but I’d put the gf outside permanently for her “some animal” comment.

Outside-Crazy-9701 - NTA. The cat was there first and will be there after she’s gone. If she wants to be with you she needs to visit an allergist.

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These purr-fect takes scratch at the surface, but do they cat-ch the core? Is Blue the real MVP, or is Cassie’s plea legit?

This cat-couple clash is a whisker away from a breakup: a guy defends his indoor cat Blue, refusing to banish her for his allergic girlfriend’s move-in dream. She pushes, he holds firm, and fur’s flying in this standoff of loyalty and love. Can allergies and purrs coexist, or is this a dealbreaker? What would you do if your pet and partner clashed? Drop your thoughts, tales, and fixes below—let’s untangle this furry feud!

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