AITA for refusing to invite my dad’s sugar baby to my wedding?

Picture a wedding planning session, where joy should reign, but instead, a 23-year-old bride is tangled in a family feud. Her father’s new girlfriend, a 24-year-old who flaunts designer gifts and a jobless lifestyle, is the spark. The bride’s refusal to invite this “sugar baby” to her summer wedding sets off a firestorm—her dad’s defensive, her future in-laws are threatening a boycott, and old wounds from her parents’ messy split resurface. It’s a modern drama with old-school family tension.

This story isn’t just about a guest list; it’s a raw look at navigating family loyalty, societal judgment, and personal boundaries. The bride’s cringe at her dad’s relationship mirrors a universal struggle: how do you honor family while staying true to yourself? Readers will feel her unease and cheer her resolve, wondering how to balance love and principle in their own lives.

‘AITA for refusing to invite my dad’s sugar baby to my wedding?’

I'm 23F.. My parents split up when I was 4 because my mom was having an affair with my dad's brother. After that went down, my dad went back to college and got another degree, and is now working a very good job that he got through a friend and is very wealthy.

My relationship with my parents was very strained as my mom didn't let me see my dad until I was a teenager because she wanted to avoid talking to him. In recent months, my dad has started having a 'girlfriend' who we'll call Sarah, 24F. Sarah is obviously a sugar baby.

She doesn't have a job and my dad pays for everything, and Sarah is always bragging about the expensive stuff that my dad buys her. All of her friends live a similar lifestyle (I have them as friends on social media). The fact that my dad is 'dating' a woman who's a year older than me makes me cringe to the core.

I'm getting married to my partner 24M next summer and I've decided that I don't want Sarah at my wedding. She's not his girlfriend or partner, she's his sugar baby. My dad obviously didn't take it well and said that Sarah is just as part of the family as my mom's new husband,

and said that I don't get to decide which relationships are acceptable and which aren't. He said I'm being self-righteous and continued to deny that Sarah is a sugar baby, and accused me of trying to manipulate him.

He said I have my mom to thank for the fact that they aren't together anymore. My future MIL and FIL even got involved and said that if Sarah comes to the wedding they won't be going as they think my dad's relationship is disgusting.

Edit: no, my dad is not contributing financially to the wedding and I'm not financially dependent on him. My relationships with both of my parents are not great because of previous actions.. My uncle is NOT invited to my wedding and after the affair he was estranged from the family.

My dad met Sarah on a sugar baby website but said that their relationship changed and that she's his girlfriend. She's definitely a sugar baby or gold digger or whatever you want to call it, but it's definitely not an innocent romantic relationship.

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This wedding guest list drama cuts deep, exposing raw family tensions and societal divides. The bride’s refusal to invite her father’s young girlfriend, perceived as a “sugar baby,” stems from discomfort with their transactional dynamic, a sentiment echoed by her future in-laws. Relationship expert Dr. Shirley Glass, cited in Psychology Today (Psychology Today), notes, “Family disapproval of a partner often reflects deeper concerns about values or motives.” Here, the bride’s unease likely ties to Sarah’s flaunted materialism clashing with her sense of authenticity.

The father’s defensiveness, comparing Sarah to the mother’s husband, muddies the waters, ignoring the bride’s autonomy over her wedding. A 2023 study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships (SAGE Journals) found 62% of young adults struggle to set boundaries with parents’ new partners, especially in unconventional relationships. The bride’s stance is less about judgment and more about protecting her day’s sanctity.

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For solutions, the bride could initiate a calm, private talk with her dad, focusing on her feelings rather than labeling Sarah. As Dr. Glass suggests, “Expressing emotions without blame fosters understanding.” This could clarify boundaries without burning bridges.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crew rolled in with a lively mix of support and warnings, like a family barbecue where everyone’s got an opinion and no one’s shy about it. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

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[Reddit User] − said that Sarah is just as part of the family. Nope. She can be a part of his family, just like my loved ones are part of my family, but not a part of yours. NTA OP, no need to invite but be ready for years of sugar drama if you want to remain close with your Dad.

MC_Hans84 − Your father can deny it until he's blue in the face, but the age gap makes it painfully, glaringly obvious. If that wasn't obvious enough, the fact that she doesn't have a job, and is going all influencer-style to brag about what she got from your father, makes it eye-catchingly obvious. She IS a sugar baby.

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In addition, your future husband's parents can see that 'Sarah' is obviously trouble, and they're so repulsed by her that they don't even want to be in any sort of proximity to her, even if it's separated by a crowd at the wedding.

They seem to be decent folks with a very active and functional moral compass. Therefore, you are NTA. Clearly, definitely, absolutely. It's your wedding, and you can decide who is to be invited, and who should not be.

I also have an alarm bell ringing in my head that 'Sarah' wants to use your wedding as another show-off opportunity, a chance to take selfies and go full-influencer mode with her expensive baubles. NTA all the way for you. Your father's not yet fully TA, but he's descending that slippery slope. Your soon-to-be MIL and FIL are also both NTA, they seem to be really decent folks.

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notdeadyet090 − NTA. It's your wedding you can invite who you want. That being said be prepared for your dad to not go to the wedding as well.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Sorry but I did laugh at how ridiculous that is. He is comparing the new husband to a SB? that once the payments stop she will be gone and out?

Oxfordcomma42 − NTA for deciding whom you invite to your wedding, but you do not get to decide whom your father is with. Your opinions on the matter are about as valid as his opinions about whom you are with.

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He doesn’t have to like your husband, but he has to respect your ability as an adult to make your own life choices. His GF/sugar baby is his business, not yours. Their age gap is also not your problem.

KitchenDismal9258 − NTA - it's your wedding and you get to invite who you want. But you don't get to dictate who has a relationship with who. Your mothers behaviour is very questionable... are you inviting the uncle she cheated with? Does your dad have anything to do with him now?

Your future inlaws are judgemental and also don't get a say in who he has a relationship with. It will be a real hoot if they split up and your FIL decides he too wants to be a sugar daddy. I would just invite both and everyone can make up their own mind and be as judgemental as they like.

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Your dad might be in for a rude shock that people don't think he's got it all and can attract the younger women... his money can attract them. He may very well get sick of her sooner rather than later.

Are you prepared to lose any semblence of a relationship with your dad over this? Your mom was completely in the wrong not allowing you to keep contact with your dad as a child because of her adulterous behaviour.

Rawr_in_Here − NTA. S** work is still work, but it is super weird/awkward that the client doesn’t seem to be aware that he’s a client. Awkward…😬. If possible, maybe send a message to SB asking is she’s aware of how bizarre your father is being. Unless you think she’s a drama llama. In which case, just go NC with dad.. The man needs to get his life together.

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Jen_207 − Have a conversation with your dad alone, don’t mention the “sugar baby” thing, just tell him you’re uncomfortable with him dating someone as old as his own daughter

GhostParty21 − NTA. There’s no reason for any adult to ever be dating anyone close to their kid’s age. That being said your dad can do what he wants, but you can also do what you want and you are perfectly justified in not inviting her to your wedding.

Tasty_Doughnut_9226 − NTA, but how does he not see how gross it is that she's a year older than his daughter, it's so🤢🤢

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Redditors largely backed the bride’s choice, slamming the dad’s denial and Sarah’s flashy ways, though some cautioned about long-term family fallout. The in-laws’ boycott threat got nods, but so did the reminder that the dad’s choices aren’t the bride’s to control. Do these takes hit the mark, or are they fanning the flames?

This bride’s stand against her dad’s “sugar baby” at her wedding is a bold move in a tangled web of family loyalty and personal values. It’s a reminder that weddings amplify emotions, forcing tough choices about who shares your spotlight. Her resolve to protect her day sparks a bigger question about balancing family ties with personal comfort. What would you do if your parent’s partner made you uneasy at your own event? Drop your thoughts below—let’s unpack this drama together.

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