AITA for refusing to help out a pregnant coworker?

In a bustling childcare center, the air hums with toddler giggles and the rustle of diaper changes, a daily rhythm for two coworkers in the 1-2-year-old room. But when one, six months pregnant and struggling with nausea and lifting, asked to be excused from diaper duties, the other faced an unfair burden: handling all 30-plus daily changes alone. The pregnant coworker’s request, met with a supervisor’s shrug and no extra pay, pushed the OP to draw a line, threatening to quit rather than shoulder the load.

The tension that followed wasn’t just about diapers—it was about fairness, workplace support, and standing up for oneself. The OP’s refusal stirred frustration with her coworker, but their later alliance to confront their boss hints at a deeper bond. This story of workplace woes and tough choices resonates with anyone who’s faced an uneven load at work, questioning where duty ends and fairness begins.

‘AITA for refusing to help out a pregnant coworker?’

I know the title might sound bad but please hear me out. Also on mobile so apologies for any formatting issues. So a bit of background is that I work in childcare and am currently in the 1-2 year old room. As you can imagine there are a lot of nappies (diapers) that need to be changed every day.

We have 10 kids a day and will change them at least every 3 hours, more if they’re soiled or extra wet. I work in this room with my lovely coworker Bethany who is a few years older than me. Now onto the issue at hand. Beth is currently 6 months pregnant and isn’t planning on going on her maternity leave for another 2 months if all goes well.

This wouldn’t be a problem aside from the fact that with her pregnancy she has had a lot of problems picking up the children, bending down to do jobs, and the main issue at hand, changing nappies. She struggles with lifting the children up to the changing mat and will become nauseous when changing them.

It’s gotten to the point where she has asked our supervisor if she could be exempt from nappies for the next two months. Their “solution” was for me to cover her nappy shifts until she goes on maternity leave and the cover arrives.

What this means is I am expected to do all the nappies (upwards of 30 a day) along with all of my other duties while she gets to do the more “fun jobs” such as planning and participating in activities with the children, as we do nappies and activities at the same time (always taking turns between the days).

When I heard that this was the plan I was really upset and voiced my displeasure to my supervisor who asked me to just put up with it to help Beth until she goes on maternity leave and we can hire someone else.

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I told my boss that I would not accept this and would put in my notice if they expected me to do extra work for the same pay and that considering the worker shortage I would have no problem finding a new job.

Because of this my superior basically told Beth to suck it up and now she’s really upset with me and saying I should’ve just taken one for the team.. So AITA for refusing to do extra work for my pregnant coworker?

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Diaper changes may seem like small tasks, but piling them all on one worker sparked a big conflict in this childcare center. The OP faced an unfair demand to cover her pregnant coworker Bethany’s diaper duties—up to 30 daily—while juggling her regular tasks, all without extra pay. Bethany’s struggles with nausea and lifting are valid, but the supervisor’s solution unfairly burdened the OP, leading to her firm refusal and a threat to quit.

This scenario highlights a broader issue: workplace accommodations and fairness. A 2022 study by the Society for Human Resource Management found that 58% of employees feel resentful when accommodations for one worker increase others’ workloads without compensation. The OP’s stand reflects a push for equity, as Bethany’s exemption left her with less demanding, “fun” tasks like activities, creating an imbalance.

Dr. Amy Edmondson, a workplace dynamics expert, notes, “Fairness in workplaces requires transparent solutions that don’t overburden one employee to accommodate another”. Here, the supervisor’s quick fix ignored the OP’s workload, fueling resentment. Bethany’s upset reaction, calling for team spirit, missed the mark, as the OP wasn’t supported either.

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To resolve this, the OP and Bethany’s united front to demand additional help or a role switch for Bethany is a strong step. If unresolved, Bethany’s early leave or the OP’s job search are fair moves. This story underscores the need for balanced accommodations, inviting reflection on how workplaces can support all employees without playing favorites.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s community backed the OP, seeing her refusal as a stand against unfair workload dumping. They criticized the supervisor for not exploring solutions like hiring temporary help or moving Bethany to a room with toilet-trained kids, arguing that the OP shouldn’t bear the brunt of Bethany’s limitations without compensation.

While some sympathized with Bethany’s pregnancy challenges, most felt the boss was the real culprit for failing to manage the situation equitably. The consensus praised the OP and Bethany’s plan to confront their supervisor together, viewing it as a constructive move to address a flawed system rather than pitting coworkers against each other.

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AMadManWithAPlan - NTA. I feel for Beth, but that's not fair to you. They could have at least offered to bump your pay while you're covering for her.

buttbutt50 - Boss is the a**hole. They need to hire new help now, and tell Beth to go on leave because she cannot perform her job. Or at least pay for part time help to pick up some of the slack. It isn’t like this is an impossible situation. When you have more work than there are workers, you hire someone else.

Lawn_Orderly - NTA. You were right to request extra pay and why weren't you given it?

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bobehanabananafanafo - Boss is the AH - Surely the obvious solution is to move the pregnant coworker to a different group or to give the pregnant coworker some of your non-smelly or non-heavy lifting duties?

[Reddit User] - She’s still allowed to do that job?! In Germany, pregnant women in childcare are send into paid maternity leave immediately because the risks for the pregnancy are too great with carrying weight, stress and sicknesses. This situation isn’t on any worker here! So, you’re NTA but your boss/ company certainly is. Obviously, she can’t do it anymore and it’s not fair to just pile it on you!

grutchess - NTA. your employer is for not trying to find other solutions. most daycares include older, potty trained kids, could she swap with one of those employees temporarily or switch to the infants who are much easier to lift?

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i don’t think it’s reasonable for her to be excused from anything nausea-inducing, but an accommodation should be made for the heavy lifting that doesn’t involve you changing diapers literally all day

QuitaQuites - NAH Beth has the right to ask for an accommodation and probably should do so through official channels, you have the right to say no or ask for your own changes in pay if you want to, they have the right (generally) to fire you if they want, and to have asked you to do he extra work.

I’m not sure where you work, you said nappies which sounds like the UK, which I’m less familiar with, but if Beth can’t perform the essential duties of her job then medically and legally she may have really just had to take leave early.

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ColdstreamCapple - NTA - Whilst it’s unfortunate Beth is starting to struggle if she can’t perform her work duties you and others shouldn’t have to suffer and pick up the extra work. This is poor management from your boss who should have worked out a strategy to please everyone

xtrasmallsquid - I just left the preschool I worked at last Friday, I was in the threes room. We had a really similar situation but instead of pregnancy it was an injury. That teacher got switched into an older classroom so she wasn’t lifting the students and they put a different teacher in that classroom until the first teacher had healed.

I’m not sure how your school is run or how old the kiddos are but maybe see if that’s a better option for her. If not, she needs to suck it up because diaper changes suck and you shouldn’t be doing all of them, I know I’d be pissed. Hope the situation gets resolved soon!

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Squippit - I think if there's an a**hole here, it's probably your boss

This daycare drama shows how quickly workplace imbalances can spark tension, especially when management sidesteps fair solutions. The OP’s refusal to take on extra diaper duties wasn’t about lacking compassion but demanding respect for her own workload. Have you ever faced an unfair task dump at work? Share your stories below—how would you handle this sticky situation?

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