AITA for refusing to grant my fathers dying wish?
In a sterile hospital room, a strained father-child bond unravels further as a dying man makes a bold request. His child, now an adult with their own family, faces a plea to financially support his second family—strangers tied by blood but not by bond. The sting of a childhood marked by absence and an affair’s fallout lingers, fueling their refusal.
This Reddit AITA post dives into the raw clash of duty, resentment, and independence, sparking heated debate. Was the refusal a cold-hearted jab or a stand for self-preservation? The family’s accusations only deepen the divide, leaving readers to pick a side.
‘AITA for refusing to grant my fathers dying wish?’
Facing a dying parent’s wish can stir a storm of emotions, especially when the relationship is fractured. The OP, estranged from their father due to his absence and affair, rejected his request to support his second family, citing their own responsibilities. The father’s anger and his family’s accusations frame the OP as heartless, but this clash reveals a deeper issue: unresolved pain versus familial expectations.
The father’s neglect—missing graduations, birthdays, and even the OP’s engagement—left scars that his last-minute plea couldn’t heal. His gambling addiction further complicates the ask, burdening the OP with a role they never chose. Dr. Pauline Boss, a family therapist, notes, “Estrangement often stems from unmet needs; reconciliation requires mutual accountability.” The father’s failure to acknowledge past wrongs made his demand feel manipulative, not reconciliatory.
This reflects broader challenges in estranged families. The OP’s priority—their own family—clashes with the father’s side expecting support for his children, aged 15 and 6. Yet, the OP owes no duty to near-strangers, especially when the father’s wife could seek work or family aid. For resolution, the OP might offer a one-time gesture, like a small sum, but setting firm boundaries is key.
Heres what people had to say to OP:
Reddit’s got some fiery takes, dished out with a mix of empathy and bluntness. Here’s what users think about this hospital-room showdown:
![[Reddit User] − I’ve been told that I shouldn’t do this out of spite, and that I should forgive him in his last days.. Dying doesn't make anyone a saint. He got angry at me and asked me how I could do that without telling him, so he could have time to make arrangements.. The same way he had an affair without telling your mother?](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/234363c-03.png)
![[Reddit User] − NTA. You are not responsible in any way to support his side family. He should have bought insurance. Dont spend a single penny on them.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/234363c-12.png)
These opinions cut through the guilt, but do they capture the full weight of choosing self over family ties?
This story lays bare the ache of a broken father-child bond, where a dying wish feels more like a demand. Was the OP right to refuse, protecting their own family, or should they have softened for the sake of closure? Would you support a family you barely know, even at a parent’s dying request? Share your thoughts below!
