AITA for refusing to go to my cousins wedding because she’s making guests pay to enter?

Picture a sunny Sunday, the air buzzing with wedding bells and the promise of love—until a jaw-dropping announcement lands like a poorly timed toast. A 19-year-old student, already pinching pennies, stares at their phone in disbelief: their cousin’s wedding comes with a $50 cover charge. Not for gifts, not for drinks, but just to walk through the door. It’s a bold move that turns a family celebration into a ticketed spectacle, leaving the student torn between budget and family ties.

The audacity of this bride’s plan has sparked a firestorm of opinions, with the student’s refusal to pay stirring up accusations of being “cheap” and “rude.” As the family feud unfolds, Reddit’s weighing in on whether this is a clever cost-saving hack or a cringe-worthy breach of etiquette. Grab a seat (no fee required) and dive into this wild wedding saga that’s got everyone talking.

‘AITA for refusing to go to my cousins wedding because she’s making guests pay to enter?’

When a wedding invitation comes with a price tag, it’s bound to raise eyebrows. Here’s the original Reddit post that set the internet ablaze with opinions:

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I’m a 19 year old student, i don’t have a lot of debt, but i can’t be throwing my money around like i’m rich. I have a cousin (26) her wedding is on sunday, we’re not really close, but we do have an okay relationship.

She made an announcement this week saying that she’ll be charging 50 dollars for every guest who’s coming. She said that they can venmo her the money so there won’t be no problems and everyone who paid will be added onto the “exclusive guest list” which basically means you won’t have to wait in line while other guests pay.

Once i read this, i was shocked. I responded asking why and she said she wanted to get the money she spent on her special day back. I told her i wouldn’t be able to come because this was outrageous and that i wish her well on her special day.

She contacted my aunt and my aunt called me cheap and rude. my parents offered to pay for my entry, but i refused.. now everyone thinks i’m being ridiculous and cheap, AITA?

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Charging guests to attend a wedding? That’s a plot twist even M. Night Shyamalan couldn’t dream up. For a 19-year-old student, the cousin’s $50 entry fee turned a joyful invite into a financial dilemma. The bride’s reasoning—to recoup her wedding costs—clashes with the student’s budget-conscious reality, creating a family rift. While the bride sees it as a practical move, the student sees a breach of hospitality, and the family’s split down the middle.

This fiasco taps into a broader issue: the rising cost of weddings and evolving etiquette. A 2023 study by The Knot found the average U.S. wedding costs $30,000, pushing couples to get creative (Source). But charging guests? That’s a step too far for most. Event planner Amy Nichols says, “Weddings are about shared joy, not transactions. Asking guests to pay risks alienating loved ones” (Source).

Nichols’ perspective highlights the bride’s misstep: treating guests like customers cheapens the celebration. The student’s refusal, though bold, reflects a stand for fairness. To mend fences, the bride could waive the fee for close family, while the student might consider a heartfelt talk to clear the air.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s serving up a buffet of reactions to this pay-to-play wedding, and the comments are spicier than the open bar that probably isn’t included. Here’s what the community had to say:

[Reddit User] − NTA- who the f**k charges people to attend their wedding? Edit: It’s the point if she’s charging people money to come to her wedding (now I’m just making an assumption) and on top of that, still having to buy a gift and such.

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I know in a lot of cultures you give the couple straight cash in an envelope, but that’s a gift .. she is demanding people pay to come to her wedding. I feel like that’s where it crosses the line to them just being asses.

Tinymouse3 − NTA, this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. It is in no way customary to charge people an entry fee for a wedding.. If she couldn't afford her wedding without charging the guests to attend she should have had a smaller wedding.

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cantbrainwocoffee − NTA but maybe we could gofundme your entrance and you could report back on what is sure to be a s**t show. If she’s this tacky before it starts, I can only imagine the horrors that lurk inside.

unfettered_silence − It seems really tacky to me. But if it's $50 in lieu of a gift, you're getting a deal. I believe common etiquette is to gift $100 (or a gift of that value) to to couple. NTA. But I'm not sure if this is the hill you should pick to die on, since it'll impact the family dynamics.

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vatoniolo − NTA I love bridezilla stories. Who the hell does she think she is?

avast2006 − NTA - once it’s been turned into a pay-to-enter, you are not a guest, you are a paying customer. People who put on commercial events don’t get to demand their customers attend. The other way to look at it is, if you are paying for it, it’s your event, not hers.

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I would love to see everyone who paid to attend assume their rightful role as co-hosts, and collectively uninvite her off the guest list.. In other words, this is just jaw-droppingly absurd of her to pull.

CasualChic − NTA. That’s super tacky. If she wanted money, they should have asked for money instead of wedding gifts.

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AnarchoNAP − NTA. This isn’t even an invitation anymore. It’s a ticked event. Don’t buy tickets you can’t afford. Also, people who do go should treat it like a ticketed event. “3/5 stars. Only two menu options. Crowded. Wine ran out.”

beavisdog − She's having a priority queue at her wedding? This sounds like a budget airline, not a celebration.. This is hysterical. NTA. I'd love to know how much money she 'makes back'.

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[Reddit User] − This is sooooo tacky! I am having so much second hand embarrassment...I’ve never heard of anyone doing this. I would be mortified if a family member did this.

These are the hot takes from Reddit, but do they capture the full flavor of this wedding drama, or is there more to this story than meets the eye?

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This cousin’s wedding turned from a celebration of love into a masterclass in tacky etiquette, leaving a young student caught between family loyalty and a $50 price tag. While the bride’s bold move aimed to balance her budget, it cost her goodwill. Maybe a smaller venue or a potluck vibe could’ve kept the love flowing without the entry fee. Have you ever faced a wedding invite that felt more like a bill? What would you do in this student’s shoes?

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