AITA for refusing to give my parents money?
In this post, a 16-year-old explains why she refused to give her parents money for her father’s eye surgery, despite them pressuring her to do so. She outlines a long history of financial irresponsibility on her parents’ part—they have a habit of giving away or lending money to people who rarely repay them—and she contrasts that with her own careful approach to money.
Frustrated by their past actions, including the mismanagement of her college fund, she set a condition: she would only give them money if they recovered at least half of what they had given away. When they refused, she shut down the conversation and decided that she would not be financially responsible for her parents’ poor decisions. Now, she’s wondering if she is the asshole for refusing to help them financially.
‘AITA for refusing to give my parents money?’
Family financial advisor Dr. Laura Kim explains, “Parents are legally responsible for providing for their children until they reach adulthood, and it’s not appropriate to shift the burden of parental financial mismanagement onto a minor.”
Dr. Kim emphasizes that while teaching financial responsibility is important, the way in which it is implemented matters greatly. “When a child is forced to cover expenses, especially significant ones like medical procedures, it can create undue stress and resentment. In this case, the daughter is right to insist on accountability; her parents’ history of irresponsible spending should not obligate her to subsidize their lifestyle.”
Dr. Kim suggests that open discussions about financial boundaries, perhaps with the help of a mediator or counselor, might help bridge the gap between parental expectations and a child’s rights.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
The Reddit community overwhelmingly supports the poster’s decision. Many commenters point out that as a minor, she has every legal right to refuse to pay rent or other expenses. They argue that her parents’ track record of irresponsible spending—exemplified by losing her college fund—is a clear indication that they have no right to expect her financial assistance.
Some users even advise her to protect her money and, if necessary, seek external support or counseling to better understand her rights. A common theme is that while it’s unfortunate the parents face financial hardships, it is not the child’s responsibility to bail them out, especially when they have repeatedly mismanaged money. The community consensus is clear: she is not the asshole, and her stance is justified given her situation.
This situation raises important questions about the responsibilities of parents versus the rights of their children. Is it fair to force a minor to shoulder the financial consequences of her parents’ irresponsible decisions? How do you balance the need for teaching financial responsibility with ensuring that minors are not exploited for adult problems? Have you ever had to stand up for yourself against family financial pressures, and what strategies helped you assert your boundaries?
We invite you to share your experiences and insights on navigating family dynamics where the line between parental responsibility and financial exploitation becomes blurred. How have you managed similar situations, and what advice would you give to someone in this predicament?
