AITA For refusing to give back an engagement ring a decade later?

Picture a velvet-lined jewelry box, tucked away for 14 years, holding a sparkling relic of a love that fizzled out. The diamonds, once a promise of forever, sat untouched until their owner, now happily married, gave them new life as a dazzling necklace. But out of the blue, her ex-fiancé resurfaces, demanding the ring back for his new bride-to-be, igniting a feud over ownership and old wounds.

This tale of glittering gems and lingering grudges captivates with its mix of nostalgia and nerve. The woman’s refusal to hand over her transformed treasure has sparked debate: is she clinging to the past or standing her ground? Readers are drawn into a story where sentiment, legality, and a touch of pettiness collide, wondering who really owns a gift given over a decade ago.

‘AITA For refusing to give back an engagement ring a decade later?’

14 years ago I was engaged and it didn't work out - he didn't want his ring back so I kept it in my jewelry box for the next 13 years just in case he ever changed his mind. Eventually I got married and tried to contact him through social media once again

but he never responded so I ended up paying the jeweler to set the diamonds into a necklace setting because I'm not about to let perfectly good diamonds go to waste any longer. A few days ago he contacted me via Facebook, he's getting married and wants the ring back because the jeweler who made it is now closed and he can't find a single other jeweler in America who could do such excellent work.

I informed him that it was no longer possible and he accused me of stealing the ring he told me to keep over a decade ago. He demanded either cash or the necklace, I told him I would compromise if he paid me what it cost me to have the ring turned into a necklace plus storage fees for the last decade I've held onto this thing.

According to him I'm petty and he's taking me to small claims courts, I would probably agree with the former.. Am I the a**hole for turning the ring into a necklace and then refusing to give him the necklace?

This sparkling saga is less about diamonds and more about boundaries—both emotional and legal. The ex-fiancé’s audacity to demand a ring he gifted 14 years ago is a bold move, especially after telling her to keep it. Legal expert Lisa Bloom, in a 2023 article, notes that “engagement rings are typically considered gifts, and once given, the recipient owns them outright unless a clear condition is unmet” (Bloom Firm). The ex’s explicit instruction to keep the ring seals its status as hers.

The woman’s efforts to contact him before repurposing the ring show good faith, yet his accusation of theft reeks of entitlement. A 2021 Nolo article confirms that after a decade, claims to reclaim gifted property rarely hold up in court due to abandonment principles (Nolo). This situation reflects a broader issue: navigating post-breakup property disputes, where emotions often cloud legal clarity.

Her offer to compromise—reimbursing her for the necklace conversion—was generous, if a tad cheeky with “storage fees.” Bloom advises that clear communication about expectations can prevent such disputes, but here, the ex’s silence for years speaks volumes. To resolve this, she should stand firm, as the law favors her. Documenting her attempts to return the ring strengthens her case if it reaches court.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit crowd dove in with gusto, tossing out legal takes and witty jabs like confetti at a breakup party. It’s a lively mix of support and shade, with opinions as sharp as the diamonds in question. Here’s what they said:

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[Reddit User] − NTA. there's literally no way he'd win. He gave it to you over a decade ago, you tried multiple times to reach out to give it back, and now he's accusing you of stealing it?

Nixie_D − NTA. I'm pretty certain after 14 years no one can successfully argue against abandonment of property, he's going to get laughed out of small claims if it doesn't just get chucked at filing.. Keep the necklace, it's firmly yours now.

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Yojo0o − Sounds like he's just broke. You did much more than was required for you. NTA.

CakeisaDie − NTA. 10 years past the conditional gift status of the engagement ring is likely long over at this point. https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/returning-engagement-ring-30198.html. You made a very reasonable option for what was basically an abandoned conditional gift.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Who would want to give a used ring to their new fiance?

CheyBridgeMan − I traded my engagement ring for my “divorce horse”.. NTA. It’s been more than a decade. Ignore him.

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TheMNdude − NTA and he’s going to lose. The law is well-settled that an engagement ring is a gift, and it’s even more so after he told you that you could keep it 13 years ago and has done nothing about it since.

Be the legal issue, morally he’s totally TA here. You’re offer, which you don’t need to make, is more than generous. At this point I’d tell him that your offer with withdrawn and that you’ll see him in court to watch a judge laugh him out of the room.

ElephantJuiceYoyo − NTA. Let him take you to court, the judge will laugh him out the room for wanted a gift back that he gave to you over a decade ago.

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_baddad − NTA. What’s he going to do? Use the diamonds on his new wife? I’m sure she’d love that!

Gobl1nGirl − NTA 14 years is an insane amount of time to be expected to hold on to something especially because you contacted him multiple times about it. Although charging a holding fee is petty. But also he's doubly the a**hole for planning on just gifting his last fiance's ring to his new fiance. What a loser.

Redditors rallied behind the woman, calling the ex’s demands absurd and his legal threats laughable. Some poked fun at his plan to recycle a ring, while others flagged her “storage fees” as petty but fair. Do these comments capture the full story, or are they just fueling the drama?

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This story shines a light on the messy aftermath of broken engagements and the emotional weight of keepsakes. The woman’s transformation of the ring into a necklace was a practical move, but the ex’s sudden claim stirs up questions of fairness and closure. Legally, she’s in the clear, but the moral debate lingers. Have you ever dealt with a past partner resurfacing with unexpected demands? What would you do in her shoes? Share your thoughts below!

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