AITA for refusing to get a job and pay rent at my parents house?

Picture an 18-year-old, fresh from blowing out birthday candles, only to be hit with a bombshell: their stepdad wants £100 a month to keep living in the family home. The sting of this demand cuts deep, especially for a UK teen buried in A-level revision, dreaming of a medical degree. The air in the house feels thick with tension, as if every family dinner could spark a showdown. For this young adult, it’s not just about money—it’s about fairness, family, and a future hanging in the balance.

This Reddit tale unfolds in a cozy British suburb, where a stepdad’s conservative values clash with a teen’s ambition. The stepdad’s rent demand feels like a jab, not a lesson, and the teen’s choice to move to their aunt’s house stirs up emotions. Readers can’t help but lean in, wondering: is this kid dodging responsibility or escaping a petty power play?

‘AITA for refusing to get a job and pay rent at my parents house?’

I had my 18th birthday 3 days ago. On the day after my birthday my step dad told me he wants me to start paying rent to “live in his house”. My step dad is quite Christian and conservative. I don’t except to live rent free forever but I know my step dad is coming from a spiteful place.

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He and my mum have 2 kids in 9 years of marriage, I’m not his own and it’s clear I’m a reminder that his wife was a non-virgin divorced woman before him so of course I’m being treated like a guest and my mum is allowing it because she thinks the sun shines out of his ass.

He doesn’t need my money to pay rent, plus I don’t have much and he wants £100 per month. We still have lots of time for this but I bet his own kids won’t be paying rent while they’re in school. My A level exams (uk school system) start mid April and last up to July. I’m doing STEM subjects and I’m hoping to fulfil my offer for a medicine course at a good university.

I’m aiming for A* A* A* A which will take a lot of studying, and if I have to get a job it will be difficult to maintain that level of studying that I need to do. I’m literally moving out in September. (Idk if the university finances differ in the USA and Ik this platform is predominantly American, so in the UK uni is funded by loans, and these loans cover everything and are 100% my responsibility and my parents won’t be financing anything). 

So it honestly just feels vindictive, and it’s not like I’m unproductive. I’m trying to save the money I had left from my last job for when I move out too and paying my step dad £800 when he doesn’t need it feels spiteful and like he’s punishing me and making my life harder for being born.

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Basically my aunt (mums sister) who isn’t fond of him said he’s being ridiculous and told me to come live with her. Her house is an hour away but my school is in the middle (30 mins each way if that makes sense). She said she has a guest room free so I can save my money for uni. This benefits me most so I took her up on the offer.

My mother keeps crying that I’m leaving already, so my step dad is annoyed. We got into an argument where he said he’s just treating me like a tenant to prepare me for the real world, so I said “do tenants not have the right to leave?” Which annoyed him further. My step dad says im hurting my mother and taking resources from my aunt because im “too entitled” to pay rent. This is just what’s best for me. I said I’d visit. AITA?

Family dynamics can turn a home into a pressure cooker, especially when blended families stir the pot. This teen’s story—facing a stepdad’s rent demand while chasing A-level stardom—highlights a classic clash of authority and autonomy. The stepdad claims he’s prepping the teen for the “real world,” but his £100-a-month ask smells more like a grudge than guidance. Meanwhile, the teen’s mum, torn between loyalty to her husband and her child, lets the tension simmer.

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The stepdad’s stance reeks of control, possibly rooted in resentment over the teen’s place in his home. The teen, however, is laser-focused on their future, aiming for A* grades to secure a medical degree. Moving to their aunt’s house is a pragmatic dodge, saving £800 for university. This isn’t entitlement—it’s strategy. As Psychology Today notes, blended families often struggle with boundaries, and stepparents may overstep to assert dominance.

Dr. Patricia Papernow, a stepfamily expert, says, “Stepparents must build relationships gradually, not demand authority outright” . Here, the stepdad’s rent rule skips trust-building, alienating the teen. His “real world” excuse ignores the teen’s reality: A-levels are brutal, with 60% of UK students reporting exam stress (per a 2023 BBC report). Forcing a job now could tank their grades, derailing their medical dreams.

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The broader issue? Blended families often wrestle with fairness. Stepparents may favor biological kids, as the teen suspects here. The solution? Open communication. The teen should keep ties with their mum, visiting when tensions cool. They should also pitch in at their aunt’s—chores show gratitude.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade. They rallied behind the teen, calling out the stepdad’s power trip and the mum’s enabling. From witty one-liners to fiery rants, here’s the unfiltered scoop:

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Actions, meet consequences.. Your stepdad tried to flex on you...and his powerplay backfired. Your mother may be crying, but she LET HIM DO IT. That house is half hers, and so is the decision to charge you rent. She is not blameless here.. Your aunt's 'resources' are none of your stepdad's F'ing business.

OP, move out without another guilt pang, okay? Work hard to **crush your exams**, and be super-considerate and make yourself very useful in your aunt's household (shovel the walk, do dishes, walk the dog, whatever is needed -- and if you don't know, ASK).

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Please don't come back to this house to visit if your stepdad is home. Ever. Your mom can darn well find her way to your aunt's house, WITHOUT Mister Flex on her arm. God bless your aunt for sheltering you from stepdad and his nonsense! And don't feel obliged to invite him to your graduations, either.

Altruistic-Motor-833 − NTA. You’re not the one upsetting your mum, your step dad is. You’re just being pragmatic and finding a solution to the problem he caused. He’s a jerk for making you pay rent when you’re still at college (A levels are brutal). Your mum is a jerk for letting him treat you badly, and then being upset when you find a solution. Try not to fall out with your family, but ultimately you’ve got to do what’s best for you and your long term goals.

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Wholesome_Hyena − Absolutely NTA. And I wish I had an award to give you for “do tenants not have the right to leave?” I’m sorry you have to deal with this situation but congratulations on figuring out a solution - you’re handling this beautifully. Best of luck with school!

Steelguitarlane − NTA.. Step-dad is an ass, and your mom is pure evil for not standing up for you.. There's an old saying 'a life well lived is the best revenge.'. Go forth, and to hell with step-dad.

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SirEDCaLot − NTA. F**k them. Go live with your aunt. Tell your mom you don't want her to be sad and you don't want to leave. But you are trying to save for school and paying £800 to live for the next 8 months is not something you can do- you don't have the time to study AND work; it's better to invest your time in studying so you can get a good career and good income.

Tell her no matter what stepdad's excuses are, you're very aware of how the real world works, and in the real world acing your exam, getting scholarships, and getting a good degree will help you a LOT more than some 'tough love' life lesson that leaves you with worse grades and a worse education. And while you wish she'd stand up for you, you understand she's in a tough spot and wants to keep the peace in her new family.

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So she's doing what's right for her, you gotta do what's right for you. That's just how life works. You'll always love her and she's always your mom, and you'll see her when you can. Then turn around and leave and go live with your aunt and f**king ace that exam and have a great career. And when you get your degree and career, you can look back at your stepdad and be glad you're not a small petty man like he is.

seajay26 − Dude if your in the uk and still in full time education then they’re still getting child benefit for you. I’d see if you can get that transferred over to your aunt or yourself.

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Training-Ad-4841 − NTA you're legally an adult now if you want to move into your aunts house to save up for uni that's your choice, your mum and stepdad don't really have the right to stop you. Also it sounds like the right situation for you.

RoyallyOakie − NTA...Your mother cries while she enables his behaviour. Get out of there and build a better life for yourself. Good luck.

lil-cripi − NTA. Step dad is power tripping

brookebuilder − You are being charged rent while YOU ARE STILL IN SCHOOL? I’m horrified. Absolutely horrified. It doesn’t matter that you are 18, you are still REQUIRED, by necessity for graduation, TO BE IN SCHOOL. You are no different than a 17 year old then here.. 1 Timothy 5:8 ESV

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But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.. I’ll probably get knocked for this, but FYI this comment is coming from a fellow traditional Christian parent.

These Redditors cheered the teen’s clapback and aunt’s offer, but are they fanning the flames or nailing the truth?

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This teen’s tale is a rollercoaster of loyalty, ambition, and family friction. By choosing their aunt’s house, they’re betting on their future, not dodging duty. The stepdad’s rent demand, cloaked as a life lesson, feels more like a personal jab, and the mum’s tears can’t erase her silence. Yet, the teen’s sharp wit and focus shine through, proving resilience trumps resentment. What would you do if faced with a similar family ultimatum? Share your stories below!

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