AITA for refusing to eat, knowing my MIL will not eat if I don’t, and causing her to faint?
In a bustling grocery store, a woman faced a moral tug-of-war as her mother-in-law, an overworked ER doctor, trembled with hunger. Living under her MIL’s roof during a financial slump, she knew her MIL’s strict rule: never eat unless others do, a relic of childhood trauma. Yet, full from a recent meal, she declined to eat, unaware it would lead to her MIL fainting.
The fallout was swift—her MIL’s boyfriend blamed her, sparking guilt and debate. Was she wrong to stand firm, or is her MIL’s health her own burden? This story unravels the delicate dance of family support and personal boundaries.
‘AITA for refusing to eat, knowing my MIL will not eat if I don’t, and causing her to faint?’
Navigating a loved one’s eating disorder is like tiptoeing through a minefield of good intentions. This woman’s refusal to eat, knowing her MIL’s rigid food rules, sparked a crisis. Her MIL, an ER doctor under immense stress, faces compounded challenges from her disorder, rooted in childhood trauma. The woman’s stance prioritizes her own comfort, but her MIL’s fainting raises questions of responsibility.
Eating disorders affect 9% of the global population, with family dynamics often complicating recovery, per a 2020 study (source). The MIL’s perfectionism and work stress likely exacerbate her condition. Dr. Carolyn Becker, an eating disorder specialist, notes, “Family support can aid recovery, but enabling harmful behaviors isn’t the answer” (source).
The woman could have nibbled something small to encourage her MIL, a small gesture given their living situation. Therapy for the MIL is crucial, and open family discussions could set boundaries without guilt.
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
Reddit served up a mix of empathy and sharp critiques on this family drama. Here’s what they said:
![[Reddit User] - NTA her boyfriend, your husband, her friends, etc **anyone** could get mad at you and yet it wouldn't reflect poorly on you. If she fainted it wasn't because you chose not to eat, but because of what her sick mother engraved in both of her daughters' minds.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/239769c-05.png)
![[Reddit User] - “We currently live with my husbands mom and she does a lot for us”. You really couldn’t eat a snack for a woman you claimed does a lot for you? Yeah major YTA. “She’s a grown woman” You are too, yet you don’t have a house or a car. She took you in and drove you to a grocery store. Omg the disconnect](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/239769c-15.png)
These takes range from defending the woman’s autonomy to calling out her lack of compassion. Do they capture the complexity of supporting someone with an eating disorder? It’s a heated debate with no clear winner.
This story of a grocery store standoff and a fainting MIL raises tough questions about duty and empathy. Was the woman wrong to refuse a snack, knowing it might prevent her MIL’s collapse? When does personal choice outweigh family support, especially for someone helping you through tough times? Share your thoughts—what would you do in this delicate situation?
