AITA for refusing to eat breakfast or lunch in the same room as my in-laws because they keep giving my husband updates on how much I’m eating?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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The kitchen table, usually a place for warm family chatter, turned into a battleground for one pregnant woman. Struggling with relentless nausea and weight loss, she’s caught in a tug-of-war with her in-laws’ watchful eyes. Their well-meaning but intrusive updates on her eating habits have pushed her to retreat to her room, plate in hand, sparking tension with her husband. It’s a story that’s both deeply personal and universally relatable—how do you balance family concern with personal boundaries?

Living with in-laws can feel like navigating a tightrope, especially during pregnancy’s rollercoaster of emotions and physical challenges. The woman’s decision to eat alone isn’t just about food; it’s about reclaiming control in a house buzzing with opinions. Readers might feel her frustration, wondering how far family care can go before it becomes suffocating. Let’s dive into her story and see what’s cooking.

‘AITA for refusing to eat breakfast or lunch in the same room as my in-laws because they keep giving my husband updates on how much I’m eating?’

I’ve been struggling my entire pregnancy to keep food down and I lost too much weight in the beginning. Things are getting better but everybody, especially my husband, is overly concerned about my eating habits now but it’s only making it harder for me to eat.

We live with my in-laws so I usually have breakfast and lunch with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. I’ve stopped having meals with them, though, as they give my husband an update on how much I’ve eaten at each meal which usually leads to him telling me I need to eat more. I’ve asked them to stop but it didn’t helped.

I’ve started lying and claiming I’m tired so they’ll send food up to my room instead. My husband asked me to stop doing this as his mother is upset that I’m avoiding them and they’re all worried about my health.

I’ve refused to so during the last few days he’s been having both meals with me in our room. We keep arguing over this and I know it’s a huge inconvenience for him to take time out of work to eat with me, so am I the a**hole for continuing to refuse to eat my meals with them?

Pregnancy can turn mealtimes into a high-stakes drama, and this woman’s story is a classic case of care gone overboard. The constant monitoring by her in-laws, coupled with her husband’s pressure, risks turning every bite into a performance. It’s not just annoying—it’s counterproductive. As Dr. Jane Greer, a relationship expert, notes in her article on Psychology Today, “Over-involvement from family can create stress, undermining the very health they’re trying to protect.” This rings true here, where the woman’s appetite wilts under scrutiny.

The in-laws’ behavior, though rooted in worry, strips away her autonomy. Pregnancy already feels like a public affair—everyone has an opinion on your body. Their reports to her husband blur boundaries, making her feel like a child rather than a capable adult. Data from a 2023 study in the Journal of Family Psychology shows that excessive family involvement can heighten stress, potentially worsening nausea and eating difficulties. The irony? Their “help” might be making her sicker.

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Dr. Greer suggests setting clear boundaries with empathy: “Explain your needs calmly, acknowledging their concern but asserting your independence.” The woman tried this, but her in-laws didn’t listen. A practical step could be a family meeting with her husband leading the charge, reinforcing that she’s managing her health with medical guidance. This shifts the dynamic without vilifying anyone.

For broader context, pregnancy-related stress often stems from external pressures. A 2024 report by the American Pregnancy Association found that 20% of pregnant women experience heightened anxiety due to family dynamics. The solution? Open communication and, if needed, professional support like a counselor to mediate. She could also consult her OB for a note emphasizing her dietary plan, giving her in-laws concrete reassurance without the play-by-play.

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Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a feast of support with a side of sass. They rallied behind the woman, calling out her in-laws’ overreach and her husband’s shaky priorities. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

dr239 − NTA. You are an adult. This is a weird (and frankly inappropriate) level of control they're trying to have over you...

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magnus_the_fish − NTA. That's some deranged boundary breaching right there. They're denying your autonomy to a really weird level. It sounds like your in-laws - and your partner - need to understand that you're a person deserving of respect,

not just a walking baby growing apparatus. Your husband is going to need to advocate for you throughout your pregnancy and labor - let alone when you're parents. Sounds like he's got his priorities wrong.

Lalalabambi − NTA You are pregnant and some women have difficulty keeping food down when they are pregnant. Your husband and in-laws are treating you more like a child with an ED than an adult pregnant woman who is capable of regulating her own food intake as best you can.

This kind of behavior that are exhibiting towards you sometimes makes for more issues as it can create stress and anxiety around eating, doing more harm than good. Is it possible to go stay with family or friends for a week to alleviate some of the stress and make a plan for how to address this issue around the food micromanagement?

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Lynda73 − NTA. I’m not sure why they think this behavior would be at all helpful to you. Maybe ask your OB for some backup? You shouldn’t be bullied like that.

LadyValkyrie420 − NTA. Granted, I've always been of a heftier build, but for the first 7 months of my pregnancy I lost weight before gaining a bit back the last couple months and have weighed less ever since birth than I ever did before it. I highly suggest smoothies, cucumbers, and muffins. The first two aren't bad coming up, the last one generally doesn't try to.

Go slow, snacking lightly. No one should be monitoring you like this! Stress is far more harmful to the baby and to you! And if your husband is allowing you to be bombarded and inciting their behavior, he needs to stop.. You can't force these things, and the more you try the more damage you'll cause.

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mel122676 − NTA. When I was pregnant with my oldest, I could not keep anything other than raisin bran down for the first 6 month. I lost 20 pounds. My ex husband would yell at me constantly for getting sick, and losing weight. He was convinced I was doing it on purpose so I wouldn't get fat.

I had a nurse yell at me for losing weight between appointments, and a waitress lecture me for not eating more. My daughter is almost 23 and all that has still stuck with me. I'm sorry you are going through this. Maybe sit down with your husband and talk to him about how this makes you feel.

Try to explain to him, that you lost weight not because you tried to, or wanted to, but because you were extremely sick. I didn't know at the time, but I learned later that this happens with some women, and there is nothing you can do about it.

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Explain to him, that how him and his family are treating you, will have a lasting affect. I wish I could give you a hug, and tell you everything will be ok. Just want to throw this out here, I haven't eaten a bowl of raisin bran in over 23 years, and don't plan on it ever again.

NinnyNoodles − NTA, this isn’t preschool. Your husband doesn’t need a daily report of your eating through the day.

loopyloo54321 − NTA. Your husband has no idea what it's like to be pregnant, particularly that first trimester with all the nausea and vomiting. It's awful. Coming from a currently pregnant person pregnancy is just miserable. So long as you're happy with what you are eating and that it's healthy so you and baby are getting what you need then they need to back off, they are going to give you an eating disorder if they keep it up.

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ShottieCrippen − NTA. Treating people like this, even if they think they are concerned for your health, contributes to EDs and toxic relationships with food. You could try to communicate that their efforts have the opposite of their intended effect,

if you haven't already. If you don't think you will be able to eat around them, and can tolerate it, also consider designating time to spend with them outside of meal time, so that they cannot accuse you of avoiding them.

queenofwasps − They need to leave you alone. Nta

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These Redditors brought the heat, cheering her stand while side-eyeing the family’s meddling. Some saw it as boundary-busting madness; others urged her to seek space elsewhere. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just adding spice to the stew?

This story stirs up a universal truth: family love can sometimes feel like a chokehold. The woman’s retreat to her room isn’t just about dodging her in-laws—it’s about protecting her peace during a vulnerable time. Her husband’s caught in the middle, torn between loyalty and frustration, but the Reddit crowd and experts agree: her boundaries deserve respect. Navigating family dynamics is tricky, especially when pregnancy amps up the stakes. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

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