AITA for refusing to do Thanksgiving this year?

The crisp autumn air carries the promise of family, food, and festivities—but sometimes, it also carries the weight of long-held responsibilities. For over a decade, one sister has been the heart and soul behind a memorable Thanksgiving celebration, transforming her spacious home into a bustling haven of delicious chaos. This year, however, the strain of constant planning, cooking, and organizing has nudged her to ask for a much-needed break.

In a family known for its close bonds and lively traditions, the proposal to shift the hosting duty has sparked a ripple of tension. While many cherish the warm memories of past Thanksgivings, the reality of mounting responsibilities is hard to ignore. The decision to pass the torch is not made in haste—it reflects a desire for balance and fairness amid the celebratory frenzy.

‘AITA for refusing to do Thanksgiving this year?’

Thanksgiving can be as much a burden as it is a celebration. The stress of managing every detail year after year may gradually erode the joy of the holiday. In this case, the host’s decision to step back after a decade of single-handedly managing the event highlights a growing issue: the unequal distribution of responsibilities. When one person consistently shoulders the planning, cooking, and organizing, it creates not only physical fatigue but also emotional burnout.

Breaking down the situation, we see that while tradition holds deep meaning, it can also inadvertently become an unfair expectation. The older sisters argue that experience matters—after all, the host has been the “expert” all these years. Yet, this reliance on one person can lead to resentment and stifle opportunities for other family members to share in the joy and effort of hosting. As family dynamics shift over time, adapting traditions to fit everyone’s needs becomes essential.

Widening the perspective, this scenario mirrors broader social issues. Research shows that when household responsibilities aren’t evenly shared, stress levels can significantly rise among family members. According to Dr. John Gottman of The Gottman Institute, “When one person consistently shoulders the majority of responsibilities, it creates emotional distance and can erode the foundation of familial bonds.” His observation, drawn from extensive studies on family relationships, emphasizes the need for equitable contribution

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit community has weighed in with some lively and insightful opinions on this Thanksgiving hosting dilemma. Here are some hot takes reflecting both humor and tough love:

The comments underscore a mix of support and skepticism—some applaud the host for finally standing up for herself after years of carrying the load, while others worry about the erosion of family traditions. The diverse views highlight the common conflict between upholding long-held customs and recognizing when it’s time to share the burden.

What would you do if you were in a similar situation? Do you believe traditions should adapt over time, or is there value in preserving established roles? Share your thoughts and join the conversation.