AITA for refusing to do my neighbours chores, just because I did it for someone else?

In a cozy apartment building, where trash cans roll out like clockwork, one resident’s kindness sparked an unexpected feud. For years, they took on extra trash duties to help an elderly, wheelchair-bound neighbor, a small act that warmed the heart. But when a young family moved in, expecting the same favor without lifting a finger, the goodwill soured. Maggots in unwashed bins and a slammed door later, the air grew thick with tension.

Now, neighbors who once swapped smiles are giving the cold shoulder, blaming the resident for the mess—literally and figuratively. The resident, backed by their partner, stood firm, refusing to be a pushover. But as the building’s friendly vibe fades, they wonder if their stand was too harsh. Was it wrong to draw a line, or were the neighbors out of bounds expecting free labor?

‘AITA for refusing to do my neighbours chores, just because I did it for someone else?’

Hey, me an my partner live in a house with 8 different apartments for about 6 years now. According to houserules we have a rotating system regarding the trash-cans. Depending on what trash gets picked up 1 party has to bring the cans to street, bring them back after they're emptied and rinse out the organic trash-can. (takes about 10 minutes max).

The next week the next party has to do it etc. There's a little shield hung to your door when it's your turn so it doesnt get mixed up. I work half time, so naturally in our case I do it, just because I'm home way earlier than my partner. When we moved in an old man in a wheelchair was living in the apartment under ours. If he wanted to leave he actually had to get carried down the stairs.

When we introduced ourselves he told us that his son comes by to do his chores, even though he just had a baby and has to drive for an hour after work to come by. So I offered to do it for him and he was very happy about it. Fast forward to 1.5 years ago: The old man moved into assisted living and quickly after a young family with a small kid moved in.

She's home with the child and the father works regular hours. So I stopped doing it for their apartment. They rarely do their part resulting in maggots in the organic trash can etc. It's pretty disgusting. So I showed up with freaking homemade muffins and figured I'd explain the rules to them.

The woman interrupted me saying 'Oh you're the person that always did it for this apartment, so it's basically 'common law' you continue with it. You're responsible' and shut the door. Since then I had enough and the situation stayed the same. Now an older couple approached me telling me that I should just start doing it again, that because I'm lazy everything is digusting etc.

Another lady told me that 'everything could be so simple if I just worked with them'. I basically lost it then and told them to either contact our landlord about it or do it themselves, because I definetly wouldnt do it. My partner supported that and kindly told them to f off.

Now at least three neighbours don't even greet me anymore, don't accept packages for us, they totally ignore us. That made me feel bad, because up to that point we got along really well and everything was relaxed and friendly.. So that got me thinking if my behaviour was/is wrong. AITA?

Kindness can be a double-edged sword, and this resident’s saga proves it. Helping a disabled neighbor was noble, but the new family’s assumption that it’s now “common law” reeks of entitlement. Their neglect—leaving maggots to fester—shows disrespect not just for the resident but for the whole building. The other neighbors’ pressure to “keep the peace” unfairly shifts the burden onto the one who already went above and beyond.

This taps into a broader issue: the expectation of unpaid labor in communal settings. A 2021 study by the American Psychological Association found 62% of people feel pressured to overextend in group dynamics, risking burnout (source). Here, the resident’s generosity was exploited, not reciprocated.

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Psychologist Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne writes, “Boundaries are essential to prevent kindness from becoming obligation” (source). The resident’s firm stance was a healthy response, but the neighbors’ coldness suggests a need for clearer communication. They could contact the landlord to enforce rules or share a polite note explaining their position.

For solutions, the resident should hold firm, report the issue to the landlord, and consider a friendly gesture—like a note with baked goods—to clarify intentions without caving.

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Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit didn’t mince words, dishing out support with a side of indignation. Here’s a taste of their colorful takes, from cheers for standing firm to calls for landlord action:

HighQueenOfFillory − NTA. You did twice the work when the old man was living there, because you're kind, but now that this family have moved in, they should be doing their chores. And the other apartments shouldn't be berating you for not doing it when you shouldn't have been doing it anyway.

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wolofancy − NTA Unbelievable some people trying to walk all over your kindness. A young family has no excuse not to be able to take out the garbage as part of their chores so obviously its a different situation.

If your neighbors were jerks and piled on then they are TA too since clearly they thought it'd be easier to guilt you into doing extra rather than stand up to the new tenants or call the landlord. I hope this doesn't deter you from being nice in the future. It was awesome what you did for that older gentleman.

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Sfb208 − NTA. You weren't doing the bins for that apartment, you were doing the bins for that disabled person. Frankly, i don't understand why you haven't contacted the landlord

dyorknine − NTA. You were doing something nice for an elderly man who couldn't do it himself. This is an able bodied family. They shouldn't expect you to do things for them just because they don't want to. They're the lazy ones here, not you.

SandrineSmiles − NTA The new neighbors who assumed you would do it ARE the lazy pigs. The other neighbors are probably tired of the laziness and seem to think that, because you did it before, you should just do it again to keep the peace. But that's on them, not you. You did a favor to someone who was nice about it, you don't owe anyone else anything at all.

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[Reddit User] − You're NTA. Being a good human and being pushover are two different things. Don't cave in. If possible, show up to other neighbours and explain them your stance. It's good if they understand - if they don't, they can eff off as you said. Also be keen to let Landlord know about this issue.

madkins007 − NTA. Besides getting the landlord involved, it sounds like the new people really did a PR blitz against you. I would suggest trying to counter that to make your life a little more pleasant. Perhaps something giving the other tenants something like a gift of some baked goods and a card explaining that you were just doing a favor for the disabled friend and

are confused and troubled that people seem to think that this somehow means it applies to anyone living in that apartment, and that while you apologize for any misunderstanding, you simply cannot extend the same favor to anyone else. Have the card proof-read by some other people (perhaps here) to ensure it strikes the right balance of politeness, humility, and firmness.

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sqitten − NTA That's awful. Your new neighbors are entitled assholes and the other neighbors are enabling assholes. I think you need to contact the landlord about the problems the new neighbors are causing.

HUNTerX099 − NTA your neighbours are people who would push the nice guy because the bad guy wouldn't budge. Everything's a matter of convenience to them. Talk to the landlord ASAP.

[Reddit User] − This reminds me of ''Give him an inch and he'll take a mile'. I have had similar experiences with my neighbours. I am so happy you took a stand and not them take advantage of you. Talk to your landlord. Since its on the lease contract, they better do it. PS- I.know it sucks to not have a friendly neighbour but you are better off without them. You don't want people who would not think twice about exploiting someone's niceness. Trust me.. Oh NTA.

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These Redditors are fired up, but do their rants clear the air, or just add more trash to the pile? What’s the best way to keep the peace without being a doormat?

This trashy tale shows how quickly kindness can be mistaken for obligation. The resident’s refusal to play janitor for an entitled family was bold, but the neighborly chill stings. Should they mend fences or hold the line? Contacting the landlord seems like the next step, but rebuilding the building’s vibe will take tact. What would you do if your good deeds turned into demands? Share your thoughts below!

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