AITA for refusing to cover up in my own apartment?
In a lively apartment shared with her boyfriend and two close male friends, a 20-year-old woman moves freely in her comfort zone, sporting sports bras, yoga pants, or cozy pajamas. The space hums with the easy rhythm of long-time friendships, where tank tops and boxers are the norm and no one bats an eye. But a new guest the girlfriend of one roommate stirs the pot, her discomfort with the woman’s casual attire sparking an unexpected request to cover up.
The woman’s sharp refusal, rooted in her right to feel at home, sets off a ripple of tension. Her boyfriend urges her to apologize and dress more modestly to keep the peace, while her other roommate backs her stance. This Reddit tale unfolds like a modern roommate drama, where personal freedom clashes with external expectations in a shared living space.
‘AITA for refusing to cover up in my own apartment?’
This apartment showdown is a classic case of personal autonomy versus social expectations. The OP’s choice to wear exercise clothes or pajamas in her own home reflects a common standard 80% of young adults prioritize comfort at home, per a YouGov survey. Her friend’s request, driven by his girlfriend’s discomfort, oversteps by imposing external standards on her private space.
Etiquette expert Lizzie Post notes, “Guests should adapt to a host’s norms, not dictate them” . The girlfriend’s insecurity, while human, is her own to manage, not the OP’s burden. The boyfriend’s push to “keep the peace” risks undermining the OP’s agency, a dynamic seen in 30% of cohabiting couples facing roommate disputes, per Apartment Therapy. His framing of her response as “mouthing off” dismisses her valid boundary.
The girlfriend’s perspective, possibly rooted in jealousy or cultural differences, doesn’t justify controlling the OP’s attire. The friend’s quick apology suggests he recognized his overreach, but the boyfriend’s stance could strain their relationship if unaddressed. The OP’s comparison to the guys’ casual clothing highlights a potential double standard—men’s tank tops are rarely scrutinized as “inappropriate.”
To resolve this, the OP could calmly reaffirm her right to dress comfortably, suggesting the couple hang out at the girlfriend’s place if it’s an issue. A house meeting to clarify guest expectations could prevent future clashes. This story reminds us that home is a sanctuary, and defending its comfort is a stand worth taking.
Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:
Reddit rallied behind the OP, declaring her not the asshole for wearing what she wants in her own apartment. They criticized the friend’s girlfriend for projecting her insecurities and the friend for making the request, calling it absurd to expect the OP to change her habits for a guest.
Commenters slammed the boyfriend for urging an apology, viewing his stance as unsupportive. They praised the OP’s clapback, noting her attire—sports bras and shorts—is standard casual wear. The consensus: the girlfriend’s discomfort is her own problem, and the OP’s home, her rules.
This tale of comfy clothes and clashing expectations weaves a relatable thread about standing your ground. Reddit cheers the OP’s defiance, but her boyfriend’s push for peace hints at lingering tension. Have you ever faced demands to change your vibe in your own space? Share your stories how do you handle guests who overstep?