AITA for refusing to cook for my siblings this summer and saying my parents need to pre-make food or leave takeout money?

Tensions flared in a household when a 17-year-old refused to keep playing chef for his picky younger siblings. Last summer, he faced tantrums, smashed dishes, and thrown food—all because he wouldn’t cater to their every whim.

Now, with his parents asking him to take on the same role this summer, he’s drawn a line: they need to pre-cook meals or leave takeout money. Is his stance fair, or is he being too harsh on his overworked parents? Let’s dive into this heated family drama.

‘AITA for refusing to cook for my siblings this summer and saying my parents need to pre-make food or leave takeout money?’

Last summer, the teenager was thrust into babysitting and cooking for his siblings, but chaos quickly unfolded:

He set clear boundaries early on, but his siblings pushed back hard:

When the siblings refused to eat what he prepared, their behavior turned destructive:

Tensions boiled over as his parents blamed him for the siblings’ refusal to eat, despite his explanations:

This summer, he proposed a solution to avoid the same chaos, but his parents resisted:

As the conflict dragged on, his parents urged him to compromise, but he stood his ground:

This teenager’s story highlights the strain of being pushed into a caregiving role beyond his capacity. At 17, managing two younger siblings (ages 11 and 9) all day, especially with their picky eating habits and tantrums, is a tall order. The siblings’ behavior—throwing food and breaking dishes—points to a lack of discipline and respect, which stems more from parenting than from the teenager’s actions.

The parents’ expectation that he should keep trying is unrealistic. They seem to overlook last summer’s chaos, where the siblings’ actions escalated to destruction. His demand for pre-cooked meals or takeout money is practical, as it reduces stress and avoids repeat conflicts. Family psychologist Dr. John Gottman notes, “Children need early lessons in responsibility and consequences to build independence” (Source: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child). The siblings’ behavior suggests they haven’t been taught to respect limits.

On the flip side, the parents are likely stretched thin, unable to afford summer camp. But relying on a teenager without clear support, like pre-made meals, is unfair. This dynamic risks “parentification,” where a child is forced into adult responsibilities, which can cause emotional strain.

A workable solution is for the parents to set firm rules: the siblings choose one meal per sitting, and if they refuse, they make simple food like sandwiches themselves. At 11 and 9, they’re capable of this. Parents could also stock frozen meals or leave a small budget for takeout on tough days. This eases the teenager’s burden while teaching the siblings accountability.

Ultimately, he should keep communicating with his parents, stressing that he’s willing to help but needs practical support. If the situation doesn’t improve, getting a summer job could be a smart way to set boundaries and focus on his own future.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

The online community rallied around this teenager’s story, offering support, critiques, and practical advice. Most backed his stance, calling out the parents’ approach and the siblings’ behavior, while others added humor and deeper insights.

Many users sympathized with him, noting that his siblings are old enough to take responsibility for their meals:

Some focused on parenting flaws, arguing that the siblings’ behavior reflects a lack of discipline:

Others offered practical solutions, urging him to set boundaries or find a way out of the situation:

A few users dug deeper, pointing out broader family dynamics like parentification:

This teenager’s story reveals a young person grappling with unfair responsibilities while trying to set boundaries. Though his parents face financial constraints, expecting him to manage without support isn’t reasonable. The online community largely backs him, emphasizing that his siblings need to learn accountability and his parents must step up. Should he hold his ground, or find a compromise to keep the peace? What would you do in his shoes?