AITA for refusing to cook for my family when my Step-Dad constantly makes fun of me for it?

Jonathan Hours
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In a cozy kitchen filled with the scent of sizzling spices, an 18-year-old chef pours her heart into dishes that bring her family together. For her, cooking is more than a hobby—it’s a joyful bond with her younger brother, a chance to explore flavors from around the world. But her step-dad’s relentless mockery, dismissing her creations as “s**t” without a single bite, threatens to snuff out her culinary spark, leaving her to question if the kitchen is worth the heartache.

This tale of family tension and wounded pride has Reddit buzzing with opinions. Is the young chef right to consider hanging up her apron, or should she keep cooking despite her step-dad’s cruel jabs? As the aroma of drama wafts through, let’s dive into this story of passion, family, and the sting of criticism that’s got everyone talking.

‘AITA for refusing to cook for my family when my Step-Dad constantly makes fun of me for it?’

When a young chef’s love for cooking clashes with her step-dad’s biting remarks, the kitchen becomes a battleground. Here’s the original Reddit post that’s stirring up the pot:

I (F18) love cooking when I get the chance, and like to make food from different places. Usually, when I make something, I cook it for the whole family; it makes me really happy to see them eating the food I've made, especially as I put a lot of work into it. My younger brother (14) usually helps me when I cook and it's a fun bonding activity for us.

It's also worth noting that we don't cook often, and we both look forward to it. However, my Step-Dad has a habit of actively making fun of my hobbies, including my cooking. He has never once tried anything I've made and makes a show of making something different (usually chicken nuggets and chips).

I normally just let it go as I understand that what I make might not be to his taste, but today was the final straw. I was sat in the next room over from him and my mum and I heard my mum telling him that my brother and I were going to cook dinner tonight. He laughed and said 'well in that case, I'll just have a sandwich.

I'm not eating that s**t.' it's worth mentioning that he hadn't even been told what we were cooking yet. I'm getting sick of him always doing this and I'm considering just not cooking at all anymore, because he takes all the fun out of it.

Knowing how he thinks about my hobbies is really hurtful and makes me want to stop doing it altogether. I don't know if I'm just being childish and overreacting, but WIBTA if I refused to cook for the family tonight and possible altogether?

Cooking is supposed to bring joy, but for this 18-year-old, her step-dad’s harsh words turned her passion into a source of pain. His refusal to try her dishes, coupled with crude insults like calling her food “s**t,” crushed her enthusiasm, pushing her to consider quitting. While she finds solace in cooking with her brother, the step-dad’s behavior highlights a deeper issue: how criticism can stifle creativity, especially in young people seeking validation.

This dynamic reflects a broader challenge in family relationships: balancing personal expression with respect. A 2021 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that negative parental feedback can significantly lower teens’ self-esteem, particularly in creative pursuits (Source). Family therapist Virginia Satir once said, “Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated” (Source).

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Satir’s words underscore the step-dad’s failure to nurture his step-daughter’s passion. His mockery not only dismisses her efforts but risks fracturing family bonds. The teen could try addressing her feelings with her mom or step-dad directly, perhaps saying, “Your comments make me feel unappreciated.” Meanwhile, she should keep cooking for those who value it, like her brother.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s dishing out some spicy takes on this family feud, with users rallying behind the young chef and throwing shade at her step-dad’s childish antics. Here’s what they had to say:

everynameistaken000 − NTA.. But don't let the arsehole win.. Cook for the rest of you. Serve everyone else. Make sure he knows you aren't even bothering with him.. And please tell your mum how you feel. Ask her why she thinks how he treats you is ok.

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SaharaDruidess − NTA. Where the hell is your mother in this? Why is she letting him treat you this way?

pink_flamingo9 − NTA - don't let one person's opinion ruining your fun and bonding with your brother. Keep cooking with love!

redhairedtyrant − NTA I don't blame you for wanting to stop. But, don't let abusive men steal your joy.

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HereFishyFishy4444 − NTA Your step dad is a jerk. I don't understand why your mom isn't speaking up for you? But I wouldn't let this stop me from doing something that I enjoy, and that's a bonding activity with my sibling.. You should never surrender your own fun to someone who's just mean. Go have fun cooking and ignore him.

sdlcur − NTA. Mods don’t hate me but your stepdad is a d**k. There’s no need to be a massive AH about your kids interests. Especially if you’ve never even tried it, have no interesting in trying it and only want to s**t on it.

Don’t have your hobbies cut short by and a**hole. Just next time he says he doesn’t want any, tell him you weren’t making him any anyway, and you won’t. Then it won’t be a problem for him to worry about.. INFO: how does your mum react to this? Does she laugh along or?

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f_u_c_k_o_f_f_2 − NTA. Next time tell him, 'well good because I didn't make any for you!'

asthmaticandsad − My mum, my brother and I have just finished eating, and if we do say so ourselves it was pretty darn tasty. Not a spec of sauce left on anyone's plate!

He actually switched up is usual menu today and splashed out on some beans on toast. Made a comment or two about 'good old British food'.. Cooking is my favourite bonding activity with my brother, and if anything, lockdown has brought us closer together.

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floralanthracite − NTA at all. If your mom isn't going to stand up and tell him to stop being a d**k, you'll have to do it- But of course, find ways to bond with your brother still. Talk to your mom, tell her you're not going to cook anymore- tell HIM you won't cook, and that he'd better get in the kitchen.

Axilllla − YWNBTA. That is horrible and I’m so sorry you’re dealing with that. I’m sorry your mom is not sticking up for you more. But the reality is that your stepdad that’s missing out. The only thing that’s important is that you get pleasure out of cooking, you get to bond with your brother, you enjoy the food you make. You do not need the approval of some grumpy old man who eats chicken nuggets.

These are the sizzling opinions from Reddit, but do they serve up the full recipe for resolving this kitchen conflict, or is something still simmering?

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This young chef’s story reminds us how a few harsh words can spoil the joy of creating something special. Her step-dad’s mockery may have soured her passion, but her bond with her brother and love for cooking could still shine through. Maybe a frank talk with her family or focusing on those who appreciate her dishes could keep her in the kitchen. Have you ever had a loved one’s criticism dim your spark? What would you do in her shoes?

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