AITA for refusing to cook dinner for my husband?

In a cozy suburban kitchen, the aroma of roasted chicken lingered as a tired mom juggled dinner for her family of five. After a long day tending to her newborn and two other kids, she expected a warm thank-you from her husband. Instead, his late-night outburst over a cold meal left her stunned and defiant. This Reddit tale dives into the simmering tension of a marriage strained by unspoken expectations and a plate of discarded chicken.

Readers are drawn into a relatable domestic drama where gratitude clashes with frustration. Can a meal left on the counter spark a standoff that redefines household roles? With a baby in one arm and a boundary in the other, this mom’s story asks: when does standing your ground become the recipe for change?

‘AITA for refusing to cook dinner for my husband?’

I (35f) make dinner pretty much every night. I recently took a break from working after having a baby. I stay home with her while my husband (38m) works. He gets home usually around 8:30pm. If he’s running late or if the kids need to eat earlier (we have two others), I’ll put his dinner in Tupperware and refrigerate it.

ADVERTISEMENT

Tonight he texted me while I was making dinner that he had to run to the store for a work supply. I guess they didn’t have it and he had to run to several others. I had put his dinner on the counter, thinking he wouldn’t be super late. And went to the bedroom to feed the baby.

Well he stormed in the bedroom at 10:30pm where both me and the baby were sleeping and asked if I had left the chicken on the counter for two hours. I didn’t know what time it was but said it should be fine. He told me he wasn’t eating food that had been sitting out for 2 hours, that this was a great way to end a 9 hour day, and then scraped it into the trash.

I told him he was being an a**hole and not to take his bad day out on me, and that if he was going to treat me this way, he could make his own dinner from now on. He said he will, that he will pick it up on his way home… and that it will be warm.. Aita because I am not making him dinner again after that?

Update: I went out to the kitchen to get a drink and saw he didn’t actually throw the food out, he left it on the counter and went to bed in another room. I went in there and asked if he wanted me to throw it out (we have battled an ant infestation for weeks) and he told me to get out. I reiterated he needed to stop taking his bad day out on me and he told me again to get out

ADVERTISEMENT

Update: it’s the morning after and he hasn’t said a word to me. He’s completely ignoring me and just talking to the baby. Update: he asked “where we go from here”, I told him until he apologizes for the way he treated me, I will not be interacting with him or cooking for him.

I told him that’s me having a boundary. He said “mhmm” and walked out of the room.. Here’s the dinner that I left out to “snub him”.  FYI the ants are all dead, we’ve had two separate exterminators come out and kill them, I just don’t want food left out all night because I worry about them coming back. ***update as of two days later***

He never apologized other than to say “sorry, but I felt snubbed”. I told him I needed a sincere apology and for him to acknowledge what he did wasn’t okay.. So he hasn’t spoken to me in two days and i didn’t cook for him last night

ADVERTISEMENT

Marriage can be a pressure cooker, and this story shows how a small mishap can boil over. The husband’s tantrum over a cold dinner was less about chicken and more about unmet expectations, but his reaction—dumping food and stonewalling—was a misfire. The Redditor’s boundary, refusing to cook until he apologizes, is a bold stand for respect.

This reflects a broader issue: household labor often goes unappreciated. A 2022 study from the Pew Research Center found 59% of women in dual-income households feel they handle most domestic tasks. Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes in a Gottman Institute article, “Mutual appreciation prevents resentment from poisoning partnerships.” The husband’s dismissal of her effort fueled this conflict.

ADVERTISEMENT

The Redditor’s boundary is healthy, but communication is key. She should calmly reiterate her need for respect, while he must own his overreaction. Couples therapy could help unpack their roles.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit crew swooped in like hungry diners, dishing out spicy support with a side of humor. From roasting the husband’s childishness to cheering the mom’s backbone, the comments were a feast of opinions hotter than a fresh-cooked meal:

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA.. He's being massively unreasonable about this. So, the dinner isn't warm. That's why we have microwave ovens. So, he's had a hard day. Does he think you and your three kids, including a new baby, spent the entire day in a field blowing seeds off of dandelions?. I'd never make him dinner again.

doubting_is_knowing − I don't get his issue, it was just 2 hours, the food is just cold, he can heat it up, no big deal. Sounds like he was just looking for something to fight.. NTA. But stick to it, don't let it go unless he apologizes and shows you some appreciation.

ADVERTISEMENT

Pagan_Chick − In my house, the kitchen has set hours of operation (I.e. when I cook). If for any reason you are not present when food hits the table, that’s your issue, not mine. Leftovers are in the fridge, or since everyone in my house is an adult, they can scrounge something up on their own. I’m not a f**king fast food restaurant.

[Reddit User] − F**k no. How dare he throw away food. My family of Mexicans would be so pissed. They leave food out for a night and it’s still fine. Cooked Chicken doesn’t go bad that fast. How petty of him. Until he grows up, I don’t think you’re in the wrong at all for not wanting to cook for him. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I would’ve ate it ♥️🙏

ADVERTISEMENT

phatbussyenergy − NTA- Your husband is being childish. Hats off for standing up for yourself btw, also has he heard of microwaving food? I also feel like he doesn't respect the fact that you stay at home, manage the household and children which is the reason why he spoke to you like this and threw away the good food you made..

great way to end a 9 hour day. It's not your job as a partner to make your SO happy every single day after work, no one asked him to go work 9 hours, every person in a family has a responsibility.. Hope it all turns out well queen <3

ADVERTISEMENT

Don_McMoneagle − NTA. I bet you he is gonna feel like a complete d**k after he gets some food and rest though. So there is that...

Consistent_Peanut_14 − NTA. You are his partner, not his servant. You put in the work to make him his dinner and instead of being appreciative that he had a meal waiting for him, he complains because he couldn’t even be bothered to microwave the damn thing. If he doesn’t come to his senses and apologize, you are definitely not the a**hole for refusing to do anything for him until he learns to stop taking you for granted.

ADVERTISEMENT

Angelcide86 − go buy some baby food and leave it out for him, if he is gonna act like a baby you gotta make sure you feed him appropriately

Boner-Division − NTA What a wussy. I leave my pizza out on the counter until its either eaten or thrown out because of visible mold.. I once ate pasta that had been sitting in a cold pot on the stove for 24 hours.. Chicken in Tupperware for two hours? That s**t ain't nothing.

ADVERTISEMENT

Embarrassed_Exit_225 − NTA. You didn’t purposely leave his food out for that long and you did make him food. He is being ungrateful that you made him dinner to begin with. You had no idea he would be home so late and that the food would be sitting out so long. On top of that you had three kids to take care of. As far as I’m concerned he can figure out his own food until he gets his act together and apologizes.

Redditors rallied behind the mom, slamming the husband’s ingratitude while tossing in microwave tips and ant-infestation quips. Some saw his silent treatment as a red flag; others predicted he’d come around. But do these fiery takes capture the whole dish, or just spice up the drama?

This tale of trashed chicken and silent stares serves up a raw look at marital respect and boundaries. The Redditor’s refusal to cook is less about dinner and more about demanding appreciation for her unseen labor. Her husband’s cold shoulder only deepens the divide. Was her boundary a master chef move or a recipe for more conflict? Share your thoughts and stories below. What would you do if your effort was tossed aside like yesterday’s leftovers

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *