AITA for refusing to babysit my roommates’ child?

In a quiet apartment, the hum of a night shift worker’s exhaustion clashed with the chaos of a toddler’s energy. A 41-year-old man, bleary-eyed from his grueling job, found himself roped into an unexpected babysitting gig that spiraled into a day-long ordeal. What started as a simple favor for his roommate turned into a battle over boundaries, respect, and a measly $6 pizza.

This Reddit tale of clashing expectations hooked thousands, sparking debates about entitlement and fairness. Readers felt the sting of the man’s frustration, wondering: where’s the line between helping a friend and being taken advantage of?

‘AITA for refusing to babysit my roommates’ child?’

I (41M) have been living with my roommates (married couple, 41M and 36F) for several years now. Four years ago they had a daughter. I work a full-time, night shift job. The wife of the couple works at a restaurant. The husband is an online content-creator.

A few months ago, I was asked by the husband to watch their child for 'a couple hours' while he ran errands. I agreed to, since I had just gotten off work. It was around 9AM at this time, and I figured I could always sleep right afterwards.

Well, a couple hours turned into EIGHT HOURS, as the husband used this time to get lunch, run a few extra errands, and acquire some stuff for his online stuff. I was already angry at this point, and when the wife got home I told her what was going on.

Then the husband got home with what he felt was 'proper payment' for watching his child: a $6 pizza from Little Ceasers. I essentially got paid 75 cents an hour for watching their child. A couple weeks ago, I was asked again by the husband if I could watch their child. I flat-out refused, reminding him of what happened last time.

He got angry, calling me selfish, and that his errands are now going to take longer. I told him it's not my child, and I was not going to watch someone else's kid for almost nothing. He stormed out with his kid and said that if I need something from him, I'd better rethink about asking.. Was I being an a**hole?

EDIT: I want to clarify something in this post, as I've seen it in the comments, but the wife is an innocent bystander in this. She was at her job when this went down. She didn't know her husband was going to pull this nonsense, and even she agrees what he did was b**lshit.

EDIT 2: Holy crap. 1800 likes! Anyway, to answer another question, the husband is a TTRPG streamer, and he had spent the majority of that eight hours at the local gamestore buying and painting minis for the game he runs on Twitch. Yes I did call him while he was out, because one of the cats got sick and threw up in my lap. When I called him to tell him what happened, I was told to 'Call him when something important happens.'

This saga of babysitting gone wrong highlights the delicate dance of setting boundaries in shared living spaces. As Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes in a 2019 article from The Gottman Institute, “Clear communication and mutual respect are the bedrock of any healthy relationship, platonic or otherwise”. Here, the roommate’s deception—promising a quick errand but vanishing for eight hours—shattered that trust.

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The Reddit user’s refusal to babysit again stems from a breached agreement. The husband’s entitlement, expecting free childcare while offering a paltry pizza, underscores a lack of reciprocity. Meanwhile, the user’s night shift schedule amplifies the issue; sleep deprivation isn’t just inconvenient—it’s a health risk. A 2020 study from the National Sleep Foundation found that irregular sleep patterns increase stress by 30%.

This situation reflects a broader issue: the assumption that others should shoulder parental responsibilities. Gottman’s advice to “turn toward each other’s bids for connection” doesn’t mean exploiting kindness. Instead, it calls for honest dialogue. The user could propose clear terms for future favors, like agreed hours or fair payment, while the husband must respect those limits.

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For solutions, open communication is key. The roommates should discuss expectations, perhaps involving the wife, who seems sympathetic. If tensions persist, exploring new living arrangements might be wise to preserve mental health and harmony.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit didn’t hold back, serving up a buffet of witty and candid takes. Here’s what the community had to say, with humor and heat in equal measure.

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TheGroggyGrunt − NTA. Asking for a couple hours and taking 8 is inexcusable. He sets that precident, he shouldn't be surprised that you refuse in future. And this isn't an uncommon tactic with some parents. I promise that he was fully intending to take those 8 hours when he first came to you.

rybeezy − NTA - it’s not your kid, but I’d start looking for a new place to live

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[Reddit User] − NTA- You're not some unpaid babysitter. You're someone who merely shares the rent. That's selfish of HIM. If he wanted someone to take care of their child so bad, he could've found someone else to do it.

destroyerofspacetime − NTA. He can pay for an actual babysitter or he can pay you properly for the 8 hours you spent taking care of his child. Entitlement at its finest.

LiaraTsoni1 − NTA. What he did to you was equivalent to you asking him to babysit 'for a few hours' at 9PM and coming back at 5AM. He basically stole your night's rest from you.

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ParsimoniousSalad − NTA. He can pay market rate for a babysitter, not inconvenience you as a 'favor.'

Vera_Telco − Eight hours is an excessive amount of time to expect a night shift working roomie to watch a child during said child's wakeful hours. Even if he got lunch and visited a shop or two for fun + business duties, that's a fairly long time to be gone.

A full work shift to be exact. An unreasonable period of time to be gone from child, and an unreasonable expectation of you to give that much of your sleep time. Y'all need to sit down and discuss this...and make sure wife is aware how long he's steppin' out.

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ForceParadox − NTA, it's not your kid nor your responsibility. Your responsibility is to your health and your job, both of which will suffer if you don't get to sleep during the day. You can't afford to have your whole day taken up with baby sitting and they should understand that.

Obvious_scoripo − He's being selfish wanting to dump his responsibilitys on someones whos not the parent.. This isn't even an emergency, he's only just slightly inconvenienced.. Good for laying down a boundary, otherwise he will happily dump his child and run.. I hope you find a better living situation.NTA

Longjumping_Low1310 − As a fellow nightshifter so many dayshift people just don't understand somehow how difficult it is to do these things during the day. Even if nightshift wasn't a part of this roping you in with her a couple hours and turning it into 8 is not acceptable. NTA.

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These are Reddit’s spiciest opinions, but do they capture the full picture? Or are they just armchair judges tossing popcorn at the drama?

This Reddit drama leaves us pondering: where’s the balance between helping out and holding your ground? The user’s stand against being a doormat resonates, but the roommate’s tantrum shows how quickly boundaries can spark conflict. What would you do if a friend stretched a favor this far? Share your thoughts below—have you ever had to draw a hard line like this?

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