AITA for refusing to babysit my grandchildren and potentially costing DIL a job?
When a grandmother was asked to watch her grandchildren for a week to help her daughter-in-law (DIL) start a new job, she hoped for a simple favor. Instead, she faced a barrage of rules—no TV, strict vegetarian diets, enrichment worksheets, rigid schedules, and a ban on her daily friends’ visits. Feeling the demands were excessive, she refused, potentially costing her DIL the job.
Her son begged, and her DIL cried, but she stood firm. This Reddit story, charged with family tension, echoes your own struggles with overbearing family expectations, like your DIL’s holiday plans or your sister’s demands. Is she wrong to set boundaries, or are the DIL’s rules a step too far?
‘AITA for refusing to babysit my grandchildren and potentially costing DIL a job?’
Family favors often come with strings, but this Reddit user’s refusal to babysit under her DIL’s strict rules highlights a deeper rift. The DIL’s demands—vegetarian meals, no TV, worksheets, and banning friends—may reflect modern parenting trends, but they burden the grandmother, who expected flexibility for a favor. The user’s favoritism toward her other son’s potential request, much like your own family tensions, hints at underlying issues with the DIL.
Dr. Susan Newman, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Grandparents aren’t obligated to provide childcare, but refusing without negotiation can strain family ties”. Studies show 40% of grandparents report conflicts over differing parenting styles. The DIL’s rules, while protective, could have been softened for a week, especially with food provided, as Reddit suggested.
The user could have proposed compromises, like you’ve navigated family disputes, such as asking for pre-made meals or limited friend visits after naptime. Reporting to the Girl Scout council, as you’ve managed conflicts discreetly, isn’t applicable here, but a calm discussion with her son might clarify intentions.
Heres what people had to say to OP:
Reddit split on this one, with some backing the grandmother’s right to refuse and others slamming her for not compromising for just a week, offering practical fixes with a side of shade. Here’s their take:
![[Reddit User] - NTA....I’m so sick of people treating grandparents like free childcare. They’re just kids and it’s okay if the rules slide for a week...that’s why kids love going to their grandparents!! I think you should make it clear that you’d absolutely love to take them if DIL is willing to compromise but if she won’t budge then that’s not on you she can find someone else to be a boot camp instructor](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/304346c-01.png)
![[Reddit User] - YTA this sub loves to say you're not obligated to do xyz which I agree with to some extent but realistically that's not how the world works. But anyway... from the title I thought you were going to say you've been asked to look after them full time](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/304346c-02.png)
![[Reddit User] - INFO: Did you talk to them about the rules and explain why that was a difficulty? It's only a week and the vegetarian meals aren't a big deal if she gives you some cash and some suggestions on what to feed them.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/304346c-16.png)
![[Reddit User] - YTA. You are willing to sabotage your DIL and her husband so you can punish them for how they parent, because it is plain you resent those rules. Telling how you blame the DIL, as if your son, their father wasn't also on board with them.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/304346c-23.png)
Reddit’s divided, but are they missing the user’s deeper resentment or just weighing the stakes?
This grandmother’s refusal to babysit under her DIL’s strict rules has put her DIL’s job at risk and her family ties on edge. Her story, like your own battles with family expectations, asks where favors end and personal limits begin. Is she right to stand her ground, or should she have bent for a week? How would you handle a family member’s rigid demands for help? Share your thoughts or stories of navigating family obligations!
