AITA for refusing to babysit for my parents?

The clock’s ticking down to a major exam, but instead of reviewing notes, you’re stuck playing babysitter to a talkative toddler. That’s the daily struggle for one college student, trapped at home during the COVID lockdown and unexpectedly tasked with watching Bella, their mom’s employee’s daughter. With their mom caught up in work and their dad snoozing through the day, the student’s left holding the bag—despite pleading to focus on their studies.

What stings most is their parents’ apparent obliviousness to the pressure they’re under. Frustration boils over into a heated argument, leaving the family in an awkward silence. Is this just a temporary clash, or does it point to a bigger issue about respect and responsibility? Let’s dive into this tangled family drama and see what’s really going on.

‘AITA for refusing to babysit for my parents?’

This college student is knee-deep in online exams, but unexpected childcare duties keep pulling them away from their books.

I'm in the middle of exams for uni, and because of COVID, I've been stuck at home since March. All my classes are online and I've been stood down from...

 

My dad is usually home. So my mum has told one of her employees that she can drop off her daughter (Bella) at our house on the days she doesn't...

Desperate to study, the student tries to pass Bella off to their dad, only for him to roll over and go back to sleep.

When I try to wake up my dad, he sees I'm home and goes back to sleep, leaving Bella with me. I've had to cancel appointments because I don't want...

The situation escalates when the dad leaves Bella behind to run an errand, brushing off the student’s protests.

Couple weeks ago, I went upstairs to study after my dad woke up - assuming he would take Bella with him to pick up my little sister (as he usually...

I called him to ask where he was, and that I couldn't babysit Bella because I had to study. He told me to just leave her downstairs by herself. I...

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The mom offers a half-hearted apology but no real solution, sparking a fiery confrontation that leaves everyone on edge.

I told my mum about this and she apologised to me - but instead of telling off my dad, she said she wouldn't roster her employee on those days anymore....

I cracked it at her when she came home, saying this is her responsibility - not mine - and if she doesn't want to get her s**t together with my...

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She said that's not an option because Bella doesn't like her cousins, but how is it any better than leaving her alone downstairs while my dad is sleeping? So I...

She got mad and now we're ignoring each-Politicsother. I feel bad, because I know my mum is just trying to help her employee and we've all had it real rough...

Students, buried under the weight of exams during a pandemic, are unfairly stuck with childcare because their parents consider it “possible” to “stay home.” The mother is trying to be a hero to her employees, but she has failed to ensure Bella is taken care of by herself or her husband. It is utterly irresponsible for the father to nap or leave a young child unsupervised, especially when Bella has been crying alone for five minutes.

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Zooming out, it’s not uncommon for parents to lean on their kids for help without grasping the impact. Dr. John Gottman, a leading voice on family dynamics, puts it bluntly: “Mối quan hệ lành mạnh được xây dựng trên sự tôn trọng lẫn nhau và giao tiếp rõ ràng” (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work). Here, the lack of honest conversation breeds frustration. The student’s attempts to draw a line are ignored, which only fuels the conflict.

What to Do: The student needs to sit their parents down for a candid talk, making it crystal clear that their studies come first. They could suggest practical solutions, like hiring a babysitter or sending Bella to a relative’s house. If that doesn’t work, escaping to a library or quiet café might be their best bet to focus. Staying calm but firm is crucial to avoid escalating tensions. This whole mess shows how vital it is to talk openly and value each other’s time.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The online community didn’t hold back, rallying behind the student and throwing shade at the parents’ missteps.

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Most commenters are clear: the student’s not on the hook for Bella, and the parents need to get it together.

saurel4 − NTA. your mom is making promises she can’t keep. Not your kid, not your employee, not your responsibility.

Meretneith − NTA. She doesn`t have any right to volunteer your time. If she promised her employee to watch Bella that is her responsibility. In your place I would look...

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or running errands yourself on the days that Bella comes over. Then your dad either has to get out of bed or address the issue with your mom.

 

LucidOutwork − NTA Pretty straight forward. You need to study not babysit and your parents shouldn't put this on you.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Someone else's kid is not your problem, especially when your mom is the one suggesting for her to be there and not doing anything.

bluebell435 − NTA. If your mom offered to arrange babysitting, she should have actually arranged babysitting. That means talking to people and getting explicit permission and agreement to being a...

Some went beyond support, tossing out practical ideas to push back or fix the situation.

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Smudgikins − NTA this is Draconian, but if all else fails, call the employee and tell her what is going

bamf1701 − NTA. Just because you are at home (and are at school) does not mean you are not working. You are doing the equivalent of a full time job,...

Your father is especially selfish. Perhaps what you need to do is to charge for your time for babysitting. That way they would understand what they are doing to you...

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turtlelife1 − NTA your mom could just pay her employee enough to afford day care for the days she is not at school. That makes far more sense than leaving...

singer96 − NTA, your MUM offered to watch Bella meaning your MUM should be watching her not u, if your mum is going to act like that then I would...

A few commenters brought some wit to their support, while keeping the parents in the hot seat.

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triflerbox − NTA at all, your dad needs a kick in the b**t if he's agreed to help your mum. Your mum needs to not make promises she can't help....

The kid can stay with the aunt, too bad if she doesn't like the cousins. Any other time, I'd suggest going to the library to study but this year makes...

This story highlights the clash between family obligations and personal priorities, especially during the pressures of a pandemic. The student tried to set boundaries, but their parents’ failure to listen led to frustration and conflict. While the mom’s desire to help a coworker is understandable, the lack of coordination in the family created an unfair burden. The online community backed the student, suggesting practical ways to reclaim their time.

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Discussion Prompt: Have you ever been stuck handling responsibilities that weren’t yours? How do you set boundaries with family without sparking drama? Share your story!

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