AITA for refusing to attend therapy sessions with my sister who is doing an inpatient psych stay?

What happens when a teenager is pressured to attend therapy with a sibling who abused him? A 16-year-old boy faced a dilemma when his parents demanded he join family therapy sessions with his 17-year-old sister, who is in an inpatient psychiatric program for violent behavior.

He refused, prioritizing his safety and mental health, but his parents grew angry, accusing him of lacking empathy. Was he wrong to protect himself? This story explores the challenges of setting boundaries in a family marked by conflict and the lasting impact of abuse.

‘AITA for refusing to attend therapy sessions with my sister who is doing an inpatient psych stay?’

A teenager recounts years of violence from his sister.

This is really bothering me. My home life's more toxic than before now so I (16m) need advice and an honest answer of whether I'm TA. I have one sister...

She didn't discriminate against any one person in particular. You just had to be close enough for her to hurt you in some way. I was a frequent target and...

She got into trouble at school for it all the time and CPS got involved twice before she was 10. I remember being interviewed by someone from CPS and showing...

The family tried to address her behavior, but tensions persisted.

My parents were ordered to get her evaluated and sent to therapy. The second time a whole new evaluation was ordered but I don't think she ever got a diagnosis...

They were also told to get me a lock for my door and to never leave us alone. At that point I was allowed to stay at friends houses more...

My sister got expelled from school twice. Once in 2018 and again in 2021. After she was expelled from school the second time she hurt me really badly. I was...

She got home a week after I did and because my parents hadn't got her into a new school yet I was forced to be around her 24/7 until I...

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His sister’s diagnosis and ongoing treatment raised new challenges.

Her behavior got even worse and she was running away, getting arrested and all kinds of things. I spent an entire month living with my best friends family because of...

Then in April this year she was sent on an inpatient psych stay for an extended period. I forget how my parents were able to pull it but I think...

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They couldn't afford it with insurance or anything otherwise. Because of this they got her diagnosed and a few things were mentioned but anti-social personality disorder was one my parents...

His refusal to join therapy sparked family conflict.

I told them I didn't want therapy with her and I don't care about a relationship with her or helping her recover. I said I care more about not being...

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But I know even though she does apologize in sessions that she also abuses our parents verbally in them and says really awful things. She told them she hates them...

She has even told them how she has wanted to m__der me for years and basically cut me open like one of those frogs in school science class. I don't...

My parents didn't want to tell me about it either but I can see in their faces how disturbed they are every time they get home from a session. My...

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They even try putting my sister's success or failure onto me and they say I should be evaluated for saying I don't care about her getting better. They said I'm...

This conflict revolved around personal safety and boundaries in a deeply traumatized family. The 16-year-old boy refused to attend family therapy with his sister due to a history of abuse. Pressure from his parents to attend, despite the safety and mental health risks, further complicated the situation.

A trauma expert noted, “Forcing a victim of abuse to attend therapy with an abuser without ensuring their safety is inappropriate and can re-traumatize them.” — Dr. Judith Herman, Trauma and Recovery, 1992. His sister’s diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) represents a complex, often treatment-resistant condition, especially when coupled with unrepentant violent behavior. His sister’s repeated threats to him during therapy further demonstrated his concerns for his safety.

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Conversely, his parents may want to help their daughter, but blaming him is unfair. Many abuse survivors feel similar pressure to forgive or support their abuser for the sake of family unity. This can exacerbate trauma and erode trust.

Failure to respect one’s own boundaries can deepen feelings of insecurity and alienation. An unexpected opportunity lies in seeking individual therapy to heal his trauma. This situation calls for prioritizing the safety and mental health of the abuse survivor over the burden of reconciliation.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The online community strongly supported the teenager, emphasizing that he has no obligation to join therapy with his abuser and criticizing his parents for failing to protect him.

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Many affirmed his right to prioritize his safety.

[Reddit User] − Joint sessions only work when there’s a foundation of safety. Right now, she’s still violent and threatening. Expecting you to sit next to her and open up...

Not_the_maid − NTA - Don't let your parents put your sister's recovery status on you and your attendance at her sessions. This is important - you are not a key...

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This includes your parents need to pay attention to your safety. One thing you may want to find out and do some reading/research yourself is if your sister has a...

It sounds like your sister has a serious psychological disorder - not just "acting out". This could be early schizophrenia as an example. Knowing if there is something specific with...

Also, you may be wanting to thinking about if there is someplace else you would be able to go live (relative, friend's house, etc. ) for if/when your sister returns...

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The community criticized the parents’ failure to protect him.

Limp-Paint-7244 − NTA I am so, so sorry for all you have been through. Your parents have massively failed you. Your sister could have killed you on multiple occasions and...

I think you should tell them you need your own therapist due to the years of abuse and straight up torture you endured from your sister, and their n__lect and...

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You need therapy babe. Because your parents neglected you and you have never been allowed to feel safe in your own home. Get therapy and have your therapist tell your...

murphy2345678 − NTA. Your parents abused you. They allowed your sister to physically a__ault you. Their failure to protect you is abuse. They don’t deserve to have you as their...

They are continuing to abuse you by trying to blame you for your sister’s mental illness. Please try and find a way out of this house. Contact CPS or talk...

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StatisticianBoth4147 − Go to one therapy session and mention how your parents are trying to guilt you into participating in things that will be harmful for you by trying to...

Mention how they allowed her access to you even after she started trying to k__l you and medical professionals told them never to leave you alone with her. Any therapist...

Then they can talk to your parents about their behavior and how much damage they have done to both you and your sister. Your sister could have killed you at...

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They have absolutely no right to make you feel guilty or responsible for any of this, and you have every right to not go to those therapy sessions. Especially when...

Some warned about the severity of ASPD and long-term safety.

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Travelerman310 − If your sister has anti-social personality disorder, she's essentially in the same class of people as serial killers, the absolute worst kinds of CEOs, and dictators like Stalin....

If your parents are getting competent advice (and making an effort to understand it), they would know that your sister's prognosis isn't promising (that's putting it mildly). She'll likely end...

Ask your parents if they are willing to get you individual therapy to heal, understand things, without your sister and their answer will make your parent's priorities clear. Either they...

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or they will not agree - which will show that their priority is your sister's (futile) treatment. 20 dollars says they're more interested in your sister's recovery. ** edit to...

LassLovesDogs − NTA. Not all people with ASPD are monsters. Some can live their entire lives in relative peace, and some can even hide their condition well enough that you'd...

But the ones who are monsters are not fixable. Your sister is a s__iopath with homicidal ideation - that is the worst possible combination, and a lifelong diagnosis that will...

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The best thing anyone can do now is keep you far away from her for the rest of your life, because she's outright stated a desire to m__der you and...

You owe this girl nothing. You have no moral responsibility to sacrifice your own safety or tolerate her abuse in the name of some mythical "recovery" that will never actually...

You do not want them sending their future serial k__ler daughter to your home address in ten years' time to "reconcile". You do not want them giving her your number,...

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And it sounds like they're the kind of "parents" who would do that s__t in the name of Faaaaaaaaamily, and then do surprised pikachu face when she uses the information...

Others opposed joint therapy and shared similar experiences.

AnnieJack − I’m surprised that the therapist has seen how she is with your parents, and is requesting that you have therapy with her. This makes it seem like the...

Silvermorney − Nta and no one should be telling let alone even inviting a traumatised abuse victim to have therapy with their abuser! Those medical staff should know better. At...

Mysterious-Desk1346 − I had the same thing with my sister. The joint therapy sessions were a terrible idea, just brought everything back up again for me

The community urged seeking external support and planning for the future.

Dachshundmom5 − You have truly terrible parents.

Mr1WHOA − Your sister is a serial k__ler in the making! ! NTA!

RawrRRitchie − This isn't an a__hole situation. This is literally a criminal matter. Your sister beat you so badly you had to be hospitalized WITH head trauma. You're lucky to...

The community firmly supported the teenager, stressing that he has no obligation to attend therapy with his abusive sister. Many criticized his parents for failing to protect him and urged him to seek individual therapy, contact CPS, or plan to leave home to ensure his long-term safety.

This story underscores the importance of prioritizing safety and mental health when facing family abuse. Refusing joint therapy with an abuser is a valid boundary, especially when safety isn’t assured. Support from external sources, like individual therapy or CPS, can help victims heal and build a safer future.

What would you do if pressured to attend therapy with someone who abused you? How can we support a teenager facing family abuse and parental pressure?

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