AITA for refusing therapy with my whole family and ignoring my parents begging to try?

Family dynamics can be complicated enough on their own, but when feelings of neglect and resentment have built up over years, even a well-intentioned suggestion like therapy can feel like a betrayal. In this story, a 16-year-old boy—feeling like the perpetual “glass child”—shares his painful experience of being sidelined by his parents in favor of his chronically ill sister. For years, he watched as every celebration and special moment was reserved for her, leaving him feeling abandoned and unimportant. When his parents tried to remedy the situation through family therapy, it only reignited old wounds.

Instead of healing old hurts, the therapy sessions underscored how deeply his parents’ focus on his sister had marginalized him. Faced with another attempt to force the family into a session together, he reached his breaking point. With a heavy heart, he decided to refuse the therapy, choosing to distance himself rather than keep enduring the emotional neglect he’s experienced all his life.

‘AITA for refusing therapy with my whole family and ignoring my parents begging to try?’

Family therapist Dr. Emily Carter explains, “When a child is consistently made to feel less important than a sibling—even in well-meaning circumstances—the long-term effects can be profoundly damaging. It’s not just about fairness in time and attention; it’s about validating each child’s worth.” Dr. Carter notes that forced family therapy, when one member feels deeply neglected, can sometimes backfire. “If one party enters therapy feeling coerced rather than ready to heal, it can lead to further resistance and entrenchment of old feelings.”

In cases like this, Dr. Carter recommends that individual therapy might be a more effective starting point. “For a child who has been emotionally neglected for years, working one-on-one with a therapist can provide a safe space to process those feelings without the pressure of family dynamics,” she says. Establishing personal boundaries and understanding one’s own worth are crucial steps in healing.

Moreover, experts agree that when parents continually prioritize one child’s needs at the expense of another, it creates an environment ripe for resentment. Dr. Carter adds, “Therapy should not feel like an imposition. It must come from a genuine desire to understand and change unhealthy patterns. Without that, it becomes another reminder of past failures.” In this light, the OP’s decision to refuse joint therapy is seen as an understandable, if painful, stand for self-respect.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit community overwhelmingly supports the OP’s decision. Many commenters empathize with his longstanding feelings of neglect, arguing that he has every right to refuse participating in a process that forces him to accept a lifetime of being the “afterthought.” Several users have expressed sympathy for his situation, sharing similar experiences of feeling overshadowed by a sibling’s needs. The consensus is that while family therapy can be beneficial, it must be a mutual effort—and when one party feels consistently marginalized, forcing therapy can do more harm than good.

In conclusion, the OP’s refusal to join in family therapy is a powerful statement about self-worth and the need for genuine change rather than empty gestures. His story highlights the complex interplay between parental favoritism, emotional neglect, and the challenges of healing a fractured family dynamic. While therapy can be a path to reconciliation, it must come from a place of mutual commitment and understanding—not from a demand that one simply accept mistreatment.

This raises important questions: How can families truly begin to heal when one member feels continuously overlooked? What steps can be taken to ensure that each family member feels valued without forcing a one-size-fits-all solution? Have you ever felt forced into a situation where your feelings were ignored for the sake of “family unity”? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below.