AITA for Reducing My Income After Divorce, Even If It Means Less Child Support?

After a decade of working relentlessly to secure an excellent standard of living for his family, one man now finds himself in a post-divorce conundrum. In his previous job, working out of town, he earned a hefty $240,000 per year—which translated to a monthly child support payment of about $3,300 for his two kids.

However, since the divorce and switching to 50/50 custody, he’s chosen to work locally, earning only around $100,000 per year. This change has significantly lowered his child support obligations to about $800 a month, much to the chagrin of his ex, who believes she’s being shortchanged.

Now, his ex and her supporters are labeling him an asshole for “cutting back” on his work to the detriment of the children. Yet, he insists that his decision was necessary for spending more quality time with his kids, and that his reduced workload directly reflects his lower income and, consequently, his lower child support payments. This raises an important question: Is he in the wrong for adjusting his work life after divorce, even if it means his ex gets less child support?

‘AITA for working less after my divorce even though it means my ex gets less child support?’

Relationship and family financial expert Dr. John Gottman notes that major life changes, like divorce, naturally require a rebalancing of priorities. He explains, “When a person’s income and availability change, adjusting commitments isn’t about depriving anyone—it’s about living within your current means.”

In this case, the OP’s transition from a high-powered, out-of-town job to a local position is a deliberate choice to be more present for his children. As his income decreases, so do his child support obligations—a standard practice in family law reflecting current earning capacity. Dr. Gottman emphasizes that quality time and emotional support are just as valuable as financial contributions in nurturing children.

While his ex is upset about receiving less money, his decision to work less is aimed at fostering a more balanced, hands-on parenting approach. Ultimately, his lower child support is a byproduct of a well-considered lifestyle change designed to enhance his children’s overall well-being, not an attempt to cut financial support arbitrarily.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Many redditors empathized with the OP, arguing that choosing to be more present for his kids is commendable. One commenter joked that “if quality time counts, then his kids are richer than ever!” while another pointed out that child support is not a fixed number, but a reflection of current income and responsibilities.

Some users criticized the ex for expecting the old lifestyle, noting that “when one parent changes, the support dynamics change too.” Overall, the consensus is that his decision is both understandable and justified, as long as the kids continue to thrive emotionally and practically.

Ultimately, the OP’s decision to work less and adjust his income post-divorce is a strategic choice aimed at enhancing his children’s quality of life. While his ex may grumble about reduced child support, it’s clear that his priority is to be there for his kids—providing them with time, attention, and stability that money alone can’t buy.

What would you do if you had to choose between a high-paying job and being more present for your children? Have you ever restructured your life to better support your family? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s discuss how balancing work and family can lead to a richer, more fulfilling life.