AITA for recording my cousin being creepy and showing it to both our parents?

Step into a sunny poolside family gathering, where laughter masks an 18-year-old woman’s growing unease. This Reddit saga unfolds as she secretly records her 23-year-old cousin’s disturbing comments, ignored by some family members, to prove his creepy behavior. Playing the recording sparks outrage and sends him packing, but her father fumes, claiming she ruined their vacation. Was her covert move a brave stand or a sneaky betrayal? Reddit and experts dive into this tense tale of boundaries and safety.

Her cousin’s words crossed lines, yet some family dismissed her fears. This story of self-advocacy and family friction pulls us into a debate about protecting oneself when unheard. Let’s unpack the details, community reactions, and expert insights.

‘AITA for recording my cousin being creepy and showing it to both our parents?’

My (18f) uncle moved to Germany about 15 years ago. He and my aunt have 7 kids, we don't see them often, but once a year or so they visit us and spend a week or so here. My youngest cousin (23m) has always been weird, he's always kind of made me uncomfortable.

But this year it's gotten worse. I told his dad, who basically told me 'he's just like that'. I told my mom, who told me I'm probably just imagining it. He's been staring at me, and called me a 'milk truck' several times. I told him to stop being a creep, he laughed, he hasn't stopped.

So with the whole family at the pool, I set my phone to record and left it on my towel and went for a swim. I recorded 15 minutes or so, of him and some of his brothers. I listened to it when I got home, and well. It was gross. I don't want to go into detail, but he talked about how I'm probably a virgin, what my vagina would look like (?), and gross stuff he wanted to do to me.

His brothers told him to knock it off and stop being gross, so that's something. The next day when everyone came over to dinner, my parents and aunt and uncle were inside cooking, the rest of the family was outside. I played parts of the recording for them, my uncle still didn't think it was a huge deal, but my aunt was disgusted, my parents too.

They sent him home a few days early, they've been fighting about it too. Things have been very tense since he left. My mom thinks this was okay, but my dad is upset that I 'ruined their vacation', and that I shouldn't have recorded anyone to be 'sneaky'. AITA here? I had no idea how to get him to stop, and he was making me very uncomfortable. But my dad thinks I should have just ignored him.

This young woman’s recording was a bold act of self-preservation against her cousin’s harassing behavior. Her family’s initial dismissal forced her to gather proof, a move Dr. Sherry Hamby, a trauma psychologist, supports: “Documenting harassment empowers victims when others minimize their experiences.” The cousin’s sexual comments crossed clear boundaries, threatening her safety, while her father’s focus on the vacation over her well-being misplaces priorities.

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The cousin’s remarks reflect a broader issue: unchecked harassment within families. Studies show 1 in 4 women experience sexual harassment, often dismissed as “normal” behavior. Her brothers’ attempts to stop him highlight some awareness, but the adults’ inaction pushed her to act.

Hamby’s work emphasizes empowering victims through validation. The woman could benefit from family discussions on boundaries, possibly with professional mediation.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s roaring with a fierce “NTA” and a splash of outrage. Here’s their heated take:

moongirl12 - NTA. It’s easier to be mad at you than admit how f**ked up your cousins actions were.

B_Kowski - YNTA- & your Father is messed up for not taking things more seriously

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3Fluffies - NTA! You're defending yourself and documenting his behavior! Your dad is incredibly wrong and also the a**hole for not defending you! Why does he care more about someone else's vacation than his daughter's safety and right to not be s**ually harassed by a freaking COUSIN?!

YellowHeadbandGirl - NTA. They brushed off his behaviour either because they didn’t understand the extent of the inappropriateness (his mum) or they’ve probably been enabling it for some time (his dad). It shouldn’t have had to take you to record it and play it publicly for action to be taken, but your concerns were not taken seriously.

He’s an adult now, not a child, he should know it’s wrong and he deserves the consequences of his actions. Edit: tell your dad women have been told for decades to ignore bad behaviour and many of us end up in situations with men who take advantage of us “playing nice” and appeasing them. Enough is enough.

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Carbonatite - What your cousin did is called covert i**est. It's disgusting and the fact that anyone is using the 'that's just how he is' excuse for someone who is verbally molesting a family member is an a**hole by extension. I'm not trying to sound over the top here,

but I would probably avoid being alone with your cousin after this. He clearly has some *major* issues your family refuses to address. Your dad needs to value his daughter's comfort and safety over a f**king vacation. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. NTA.

psycho-pancake - NTA. Throw the whole family away.

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hamisme - NTA. How could you possibly be the assole ? You felt unsafe, you took a precaution to see if your gut feeling was correct ..and it was. Although you are 18, that’s still pedophile behavior. And fantasying about an i**est relationship. That’s more than just “creepy” that’s downright disgusting and he would need to exit my home immediately.

And for your dad and uncle to make excuses for him saying “that’s just the way he is” and “upset you reunited the vacation and should have ignored it.” Well if he crawled into your bed one night of vacation, he would have not only ruined that trip it would ruin every possible trip for the rest of their lives.

Your father and uncle are also the assholes. How can your dad not protect you instantly? It makes me think your uncle has seen/hear him do so much worse and maybe your dad knows about it. But either way, how all three of those men have acted towards this situation is completely unacceptable.

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I would have a serious talk with your mother about how dangerous it is for you to be around your cousin. And god forbid if anything horrible happens...would they turn a blind eye to it? Pretend it didn’t happen? F**k that. Make yourself heard. Protect yourself if no one else will.

RoboCat23 - NTA. Don’t let anyone tell you that protecting yourself from s**ual harassment or a**ault is inconvenient for them and that you should just sit there and take it for the greater good. Oh, it ruined their vacation? Well who’s fault is that? Not yours.

There will always be people in life that try to take advantage of you and if others won’t protect you then you need to protect yourself. Any spoiling of fun time that happened is your cousins fault and the recordings happened because the adults didn’t take you seriously. You stood up for yourself and you should be proud.

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Wolfdijon - NTA. What your cousin's saying is *really* concerning and creepy.

GrandpaJoeSloth - NTA this is s**ual a**ault waiting to happen - to. you or someone else. Really creepy and pervy. Sorry this happened to you :(. and even more sorry your family is not being supportive

These opinions hit hard, but do they capture the full story? Reddit’s a fiery stage—let’s see if they land the punch.

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This tale weaves a knot of courage, betrayal, and family tension. The woman’s recording exposed a harsh truth, but her father’s blame stings. Could she have confronted differently? It’s a dance of safety and loyalty. What would you do if your concerns were brushed off by family? Share your stories—how do you protect yourself when dismissed?

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