AITA for quitting over email?

A 25-year-old volunteer thought she was doing the responsible thing when she decided to step down from a children’s scout group after realizing the role wasn’t a good fit. After a few weeks of online sessions helping with a group of kids, she concluded that leading activities for multiple children at once was more stressful than expected. Rather than disappearing or leaving abruptly, she chose to send a polite email thanking the leader and offering to stay until a replacement could be found.

What followed turned into a surprisingly confusing exchange. The leader responded by saying the resignation method was “unprofessional” and insisted the notice should be submitted as a physical resignation letter. When the volunteer asked for an address to send it to, the leader refused, saying sharing personal information would be unethical. Even after attaching a written resignation letter to a new email, the situation only escalated further.

‘AITA for quitting over email?’

After several weeks of volunteering, she realized the role simply wasn’t for her.

I (25F) started volunteering at the end of January with the Beaver scouts and after 5 weeks of one hour zoom sessions I don't think it's for me. I have...

I emailed the leader today thanking her for giving me the opportunity and said that whilst I had enjoyed myself I will be stepping down from the role,

and asked if she needs me to continue for x amount of weeks until they find a replacement or if I can finish now (there was no info on quitting...

The response she received made the situation unexpectedly tense.

She emailed me back almost immediately telling me that she was disappointed I was leaving, especially in such an unprofessional manner...

I asked her what she means and was told the official way to hand in my notice was to send the leader and resignation letter.

I asked for her address so I could send her one and she refused as handing out personal information is deemed unethical.

Even after trying to follow the instructions, the confusion only grew.

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I typed out a resignation letter and attached it to a new email and she replied that she was shocked I was making a mockery out of the situation. I'm...

and waited until face to face sessions start again and hand it in then but we don't know when that will be. AITA here? I think she's being difficult because...

Volunteer roles often depend heavily on communication and goodwill between organizers and participants. In situations like this, expectations about formal procedures can sometimes become unclear, particularly when organizations rely on informal guidelines rather than strict employment-style policies. When a volunteer decides to step down, most organizations simply expect a written notice so that leadership has time to arrange a replacement.

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From a practical perspective, email has become a widely accepted form of professional communication, especially during periods when in-person interactions are limited. The volunteer in this story not only provided written notice but also offered to remain temporarily to ensure continuity for the group. That gesture often signals respect for the organization and the children involved.

However, the leader’s response highlights another reality: managing volunteers can be stressful when staffing is already limited. Leaders sometimes react strongly because losing help means additional work and responsibility. Even so, insisting on a physical letter while refusing to provide an address creates a contradiction that leaves the volunteer without a clear path forward. Situations like this illustrate how simple procedural disagreements can quickly turn into unnecessary conflicts when expectations are not clearly defined.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Many commenters supported the volunteer and believed she handled the situation responsibly.

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SonuvaGunderson − NTA. How the hell are you supposed to send a letter if they won’t give an address? Email is more than satisfactory, particularly if you’re a volunteer.

Verity_Fox − NTA This woman is just intentionally trying to make it as hard as possible for you to quit, perhaps trying to keep you on as long as possible,...

You have done everything you can in line with policy, so I say just stop bothering and leave her to it now. She cannot force you to do anything after...

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Stoat__King − So let me get this straight: You are in the wrong for not sending a letter to an address you are not allowed to have because its personal...

You have not made a mockery of the situation. She did that herself. I have a sense that I have missed something obvious here.

foxglovepainting − NTA - it sounds like she’s upset and trying to find an excuse to be angry because replacing someone (particularly volunteers) can be difficult.

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Communicating via email is perfectly professional and demanding someone hand in a hand-typed letter is absurd. You offered to stay on until someone else has been found which is above...

Current_Can8134 − NTA. You gave notice in writing. What else are you meant to do? If it needs to be a physical copy print off the email.

Ask her what else she’d like you to do. It sounds a little like she’s pissy because this will make things harder for her.

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Others added brief reactions emphasizing that email resignations are completely normal today.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Email perfectly acceptable, especially with Covid.

fraggletart − NTA You did as she requested and attached a resignation letter. She's just being pissy because now she has extra work and has to hire a new person.

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m_loquacious − NTA. If she continues to not accept your resignation I would forward the emails and you resignation letter to the leadership of the group at a higher level.

Afterward I would cut contact with her. You took the appropriate steps to leave the position and offered to help cover a bit till they could replace you. That’s the...

A few responses leaned toward humor while still questioning the situation.

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DoOfferRefFood − NTA. .. Am I reading this correct. .. this is volunteering. Wow. .. glad you got out. Appreciate you being willing to help out for a couple extra...

Dunka_Chino − NTA. How are you supposed to mail a letter in the first place of you didn’t know her address?

This story highlights how even volunteer roles can become surprisingly complicated when expectations about communication are unclear. The volunteer believed she handled the situation responsibly by sending a polite email, offering assistance during the transition, and even attaching a formal resignation letter when asked.

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At the same time, the leader’s insistence on a physical letter without providing an address left the process in an unusual stalemate. Situations like this raise interesting questions about professional etiquette in modern communication. Is email an acceptable way to resign from a volunteer role today? And if you were in this position, would you continue trying to resolve the issue or simply move on?

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