AITA for quitting on my friend because she won the lottery?

Imagine the soft hum of a toddler’s lullaby, a textbook open on the couch, and the quiet rhythm of a babysitter’s evening. For three years, our narrator—let’s call them Alex—has been the trusted caregiver for their friend’s child, pocketing a modest $60 for six hours of work. It was a favor, a nod to friendship and tight budgets. But when their friend hits a $740,000 lottery jackpot, the game changes, and so does Alex’s patience.

Suddenly, new cars gleam in the driveway, and tales of Cuban beaches fill conversations, yet Alex’s paycheck stays stubbornly the same. When a request for minimum wage is brushed off as “too expensive,” Alex walks away, leaving their friend in a childcare bind. Was this a stand for fairness or a petty jab at newfound wealth? This story unpacks the messy dance of money and loyalty.

‘AITA for quitting on my friend because she won the lottery?’

I've been the sole babysitter for a friend since their child was born 3 years ago. I don't get paid supremely well, below minimum wage ($60/6hr when minimum would be $84/6hr) but it's still been agreeable because it's easy money and I can study while I'm there. My friend is also not particularly well off (or wasn't as you'll soon read) so I was throwing them a bone by being lenient on the wage.

The husband is against babysitting and daycares (he was a victim of abuse this way) but he agreed because we're all friends and have been for a long time. My friend won $740,000 in the lottery two months ago and everything is more or less settled in. They bought two new 2019 cars ($60,000+ vehicles), travelled a bit, etc.

But they still paid me the same amount, which stung because I'm covering for them while they went to Cuba and Mexico. They can afford to pay me more, so I told them this. I want minimum wage, and they declined saying it's too expensive. So I decided to no longer babysit for them. This means they'll have no babysitter because my friend's husband doesn't care for them.

I know I'm not the a**hole for quitting over a wage but it's not entirely that. I'm half doing this vindictively because I know they're in a peculiar position where I'm their only option. But all I want is minimum wage, I'm not going to gouge them over this fact. Part of it might be jealousy but if they can afford $120,000+ in cars in the span of two months, they can afford an extra $24 per shift of my babysitting.. AITA?

Money can turn friends into strangers faster than you can say “jackpot.” Alex’s decision to quit babysitting after their friend’s lottery win exposes a rift in expectations. Relationship expert Dr. Gary Chapman notes, “When financial disparities arise, clear boundaries and honest communication are essential” (The 5 Love Languages). Alex’s low pay was a favor born of empathy, but their friend’s refusal to adjust it post-windfall feels like a slap.

This situation mirrors a broader issue: how sudden wealth reshapes relationships. A 2021 study by the National Bureau of Economic Research found that lottery winners often face strained social ties due to mismatched financial priorities (NBER). Alex’s friend, splurging on cars while skimping on childcare, risks alienating those who supported them pre-jackpot.

Alex’s request for minimum wage—$24 more per shift—was reasonable, given the family’s spending spree. Their friend’s dismissal suggests a lack of gratitude, prioritizing luxury over loyalty. For Alex, quitting was self-respect, though the hint of vindictiveness adds a spicy twist. Next time, they could negotiate pay upfront, perhaps saying, “With your new budget, can we align my rate with standard wages?”

Moving forward, Alex should seek jobs that value their work—childcare roles often start at $15-$20/hour. For readers, it’s a lesson: discuss money openly to avoid resentment, especially when fortunes shift.

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit’s got thoughts as bold as a toddler’s tantrum—here’s what they said about Alex’s babysitting saga:

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xanif - NTA but, uh, this is the kind of spending that's going to make them bankrupt in under a year...

IridianRaingem - The thing is, unless they are smart with their money (which it doesn’t seem they are) the number is limited. They will run out. It’s not like one of them got a new amazing job paying a lot more. Their finances are basically doomed.That said, all you’re asking for is the minimum wage.

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You’re not asking for $30 per hour now that they have money. It’s not too expensive to buy brand new cars or go to Cuba, but childcare for their kids? Now that’s just too much. No. You have a right to ask for the minimum when you were doing it for less as a favor because they literally didn’t have it. Now they do.. NTA

wunderduck - No judgement but if it makes you feel better, a $740,000 lottery win is probably close to $400,000 after taxes. Between the cars and the trips, they have spent 1/3 of their money in 2 months. They will be broke by the end of the year.

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EDIT: A lot of people are pointing out that OP could be Canadian and therefore wouldn't pay taxes on lottery winnings. This seems like it's probably the case so will revise my previous statement. *Between the cars and the trips, they have spent 1/6 of their money in 2 months. They will be broke by summer 2021.

PastelSpectre - NTA. Asking to be paid *minimum wage* when your friend won the lottery is not too much to ask.

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Subject_Summer - NTA - Regular 6 hour shifts that allow a couple to not use a daycare is not 'babysitting,' it's in-home childcare and $10 per hour is a steal. Especially for an infant to 3 year old. Quality childcare is really expensive.

Even bad childcare is expensive. You did them a huge favor when they needed it. It's understandable to be miffed that they won't pay you something closer to market value for your work now that they can afford it. They're being cheap and ungrateful.

stunning-stasis - NTA. You wouldn't have been an a**hole even if you quit before they won the lottery. This business arrangement isn't working out for you anymore.

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deadlyhausfrau - NTA. It's not like you're trying to gouge them for everything they have. You asked them for minimum wage and they wouldn't even give you that. These people are not your friends.

[Reddit User] - YTA you've admitted yourself you are being partially vindictive. You say you are being paid below minimum wage but I assume this is a casual cash in hand affair if you were to make it official and be paid minimum wage you would lose some of that 84$ in taxes. Point being you were happy to help them before but after a win you have admitted jealousy over you aren't happy to help now.

If it went the other way and they had say lost a portion of their income would you happily babysit for less than the 10$? Their good lick should have no bearing on your original agreement, of course you are well within you rights to say you no longer wish to work for below minimum wage and that's fine,

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but it seems like this only became an issue for you after they won some money.. And again you can't demand minimum wage if you are not paying taxes etc on that wage.. Thank you guys for the awards

CreepyOrlando - NTA and lavish in the fact they'll be out of money ASAP. While $740k is a nice chunk of change blowing $120k on cars is absolutely silly. Go find a better job. I'm shocked you only asked for Minimum wage as well. Even prior to them winning you were under valuing yourself a lot. I am not sure where you are but here there are entry level jobs that pay at least double digits an hour to start.

Ladyughsalot1 - NTA Interesting that husband is against babysitters or daycares, and was fine with you caring for his child for below minimum wage. Look, you’re a decent and trustworthy person. But who willfully underpays someone watching their kid?? Does he also insult his servers at restaurants?

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So they couldn’t afford it. They can now. Ultimately, if they are buying new vehicles and taking vacations while underpaying you, they’re taking advantage, I mean...a bonus is definitely something I would have expected, once you had provided childcare under minimum wage while they went on vacations.

From calling the friends ungrateful to predicting their financial doom, Reddit’s takes are fiery. But do these hot opinions hold up, or are they just venting steam?

Alex’s story is a reminder that money doesn’t just buy cars—it tests bonds. Quitting over a refused pay bump was bold, but was it fueled by fairness or a touch of envy? Should Alex have pushed harder for a raise, or was walking away the right call? Share your take—have you ever had to renegotiate a favor when someone’s wallet got fatter?

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