AITA for quitting my daughter’s job for her?

Charlotte Morse Hours
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In a bustling mom-and-pop restaurant, a 15-year-old hostess faced a crash course in the harsh realities of work life, from late-night shifts to customer tirades. Her mother, proud of her daughter’s first job, watched with growing alarm as red flags piled up: illegal hours, sketchy pay practices, and a manager who left her to fend for herself. When the teen texted her misery and desire to quit, her mom took charge, ending the job on the spot—only to face her daughter’s wrath.

This isn’t just a tale of a bad job; it’s a tug-of-war between a parent’s instinct to protect and a teen’s quest for independence. With child labor laws ignored and workplace woes mounting, the mother’s bold move stirred family tension. Turning to Reddit’s AITA community, she’s questioning her choice. Dive into this drama and decide: was she a meddling mom or a fierce defender?

‘AITA for quitting my daughter’s job for her?’

So I (42f) have a daughter (15f) who got her first job as a hostess at a mom-and-pop restaurant. I was super proud of her and supported her in every way. We made sure she was there when needed, helped her fill out paperwork, all that stuff.

First week, she says she’s tracking her time on a post-it note. She doesn’t have a log-in to track her hours in their system. We tell her to make sure those hours get counted somehow and offer to speak to her manager. She asks us not to get involved, so we don’t.

We ask her how much she was offered. She doesn’t know. When does she get paid? She doesn’t know. She’s timid and afraid to speak up, being her first job. We give it time. During this time, she’s working 4-7 hours per shift.

In our US state, there are child labor laws that specifically apply to 14 & 15 year olds. These state that she cannot work more than 3 hours per shift, 18 hours per week, or outside the hours of 7am to 7pm (while school is in session, which it is).

She was regularly working outside of those hours, including one night until 11:30pm. One dinner shift, a customer yelled at her on the phone for not knowing the full menu. Ok, it happens. Said customer decided to come into the restaurant, ask for her, and berated her in person.

While her manager stood by and did nothing. This infuriated me and I wanted so badly to call her manager and tell him he should support his staff and have their back. But she asked me to stay out of it. We let it go, again at her request. Until today.

She worked today and texted me that she was miserable and wanted to quit. She said she was not suited for this position and didn’t want to continue. I told her she absolutely did not owe them anything (other than finishing her shift) and we would be there when she got off work at 3pm.

In the meantime, she put in her 2-week notice. Which was generous for a job she’s held for all of 3 weeks, but it was her choice. We get there at 3 and I go inside to let her know we’re there. Her co-hostess pipes up and says ‘actually, I get to decide when she leaves and I’m not ready for her to leave.’

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As you can imagine, this irritated me, as she was told she was off at 3pm and I was ready to go home. I told her to go clock out and go outside and I’d be out in a minute. I asked to speak to a manager. I spoke to a ‘head server’ and told her I appreciated the opportunity they gave my daughter.

I said this was not going to work out and today would be her last day. They have not made a schedule going forward so I said not to schedule her any more. I got the details on when/how much she would be paid and left. I never raised my voice or was mean.

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My daughter is furious with me. I explained to her that I tried to let her take the reins here, but she was not standing up for herself and being 15, I was not going to allow anyone to take advantage of her. She made the decision to quit I just pushed it along a bit faster.. So Reddit, AITA for negating her ‘notice’ and making her quit?

Edit: my goodness, I’m o**rwhelmed at all the responses. I’ve tried to read every single one and take everything in. Thank you to everyone who took time to point out things I could’ve done better. I truly do want to learn from this and do the right thing next time, if there is a next time. I have apologized to my daughter for how I handled things.

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I explained what all they did wrong and told her I was very proud of her for wanting to give a notice but I just couldn’t sit back and watch them abuse her for 2 more weeks. She argued that she made the choice to quit on her own terms and I took away that choice by telling them she wouldn’t be coming back.

She’s still very mad and I told her she can be mad at me, and I’m sorry for any embarrassment I caused, but I do not regret removing her from that toxic environment. We have learned a lot from this experience and we will make sure she knows what info to get before her first shift at the next job

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(which she’s anxious to get, but will probably have to wait a couple weeks due to a planned vacation). I will update when we get her paycheck. I have a bad feeling they’re gonna try to get out of paying her for the first week when she didn’t have a profile in the system.

Edit 2: she got her first paycheck today. It was actually more than expected. I had a nice talk with the owner and we parted on good terms. Turns out, they had not paid attention to her paperwork and just assumed she was 16.

They apologized profusely and said she was a great worker and a sweet girl and I was doing a great job with her. They were sorry to see her leave. Basically kissing my b**t because they’re afraid of me reporting them. Based on the sincerity of the owner and the apology I received from her, I will not be reporting them.

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I honestly do feel like they thought she was older, and I blame myself for not stepping in sooner (especially after that really late night). My daughter is still furious with me and decided she will not confide in me going forward. I hope one day she realizes how much I love her and did this FOR her, not TO her.

A teen’s first job should be a learning experience, not a lesson in exploitation. This mother’s decision to pull her 15-year-old daughter from a restaurant job was sparked by clear violations: illegal shifts past 7pm, vague pay details, and a hostile work environment. The daughter’s attempt to give two weeks’ notice showed maturity, but the restaurant’s disregard for labor laws and her well-being demanded action. The co-worker’s claim to control her exit was the final straw.

This reflects broader issues in teen employment. The U.S. Department of Labor notes that 14- and 15-year-olds are limited to 3-hour shifts and 18-hour weeks during school, yet violations are common, with 3,800 minors affected in 2022. The restaurant’s failure to train or protect the teen underscores a toxic workplace.

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Career coach Dr. Marie G. McIntyre advises, “Young workers need guidance to recognize exploitation and advocate for themselves”. The mother’s intervention was justified, but involving her daughter in the exit discussion could have empowered her. For readers, teaching teens about labor rights—pay clarity, legal hours—prepares them for future jobs.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Reddit served up a sizzling mix of support and spice for this mom’s bold move. Here’s what the community had to say about this workplace drama:

Nixie_D - NTA. I'll go against others who say you're undermining her, you're not. The situation she's in is abusive and detrimental to her. This is a situation where parents need to step in, as she was only going to let herself get further taken advantage of. Were it a one off I'd say otherwise, but they were breaking the law, and allowing her to be abused. At a certain point you have to step in if she won't.

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ElKristy - NTA. Gosh, I'm surprised by the YTAs! The daughter is 15 and this is her first job. She's being exploited and the restaurant is breaking labor laws. The mother is doing exactly what a parent is supposed to do: protecting her child when her child is unable or unwilling to protect herself,

and in this case, it's simply due to being inexperienced in the workplace yet. Her daughter is embarrassed right now, but her mother just gave her a very valuable lesson in how to recognize when she's being taken advantage of. Good for you, Mom.

sheramom4 - I am going to go with a different take and say NTA. They were violating child labor laws and likely had no intention of paying her. She is still a minor and on the young side for a job and was not taking care of things in a way that protected her. She can be angry at you but explain this to her.

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My middle kid had a similar situation with her first job at just over 16. At a restaurant. They were keeping the minors several hours past shifts and also leaving a group of minors to close the restaurant at night sometimes into the week hours.

Said kid was reliant on us for rides and one night it was 2 am. I text messaged her and told her to come out of the building right now and we left. The next day she was fired for 'leaving without permission' and on my end, all hell broke loose.

I also filed a claim with L&I as they didn't have her paycheck ready at the time of firing and for the violations of the law. My kid was mad for a day or so but she is an adult now and realizes that they were using her.

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[Reddit User] - I think what you did was fine (although there should have been some calling them out for taking advantage of her), but I think the follow-up matters - You need to sit her down and explain that you needed to step in because they were taking advantage of her, and she was not standing up for herself.

That if she wants to take the reins, she needs to actually take them. Try to help her work on her self-confidence and ability to stand up for herself. It's not an easy thing to do (teach or learn). Also, make sure she understands what were the problems with this job.

Not knowing her pay-Over working her for her age-Not properly training-No proper time system which means she likely worked without getting paid-Allowing people to abuse her and not step inetc There is a time and place for allowing your kids to sink or swim, a 15-year-old being taken advantage of at a job is not that time. \edit\ thanks for the awards

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glitchedspectra - NTA. Your daughter was being exploited and the work environment was very unhealthy. She might've been against raising trouble for a variety of reasons, but she needed to get out. In this specific context, an adult had to step in and help her, even because it helps her see that this is not ok.

Since she is so adamant about no adults helping her out, maybe do some soul-searching and see if you might be overstepping in other parts of her life as well. But in this specific context, you were not in the wrong.

C_Majuscula - NTA. If she didn't fill out the tax paperwork (including authorization to work) before her first shift, it's a dodgy place. Keeping track of hours on a post-it and violating child labor laws confirm that these are not reputable employers. I doubt she will ever be paid. Before she takes her next job, you need to review some of these obvious red flags with her so that she knows when to walk out on her own.

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rapt2right - NAH besides the employer. Your daughter was being taken advantage of, treated shamefully and illegally. I am sure she's embarrassed at your stepping in, especially after she mustered up the courage to put in her 2 weeks but it sounds like 2 more weeks would have been seriously harmful to her.. Neither of you is wrong- She did her best

but was in over her head and didn't have the knowledge, experience or confidence to effectively advocate for herself- not many of us do at that age. You put an end to an unacceptable situation. Brava! Now, if the paycheck isn't available and accurate, maybe you can teach her how to file a complaint with the labor board.

Defiant-Currency-518 - NTA. They were treating her horribly and illegally and she’s your minor child. Drag them in from of the labor board.

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SnooGiraffes4137 - NTA No, ma'am, you're not the ass. I'm almost 53 years old and I remember how I was at that age and my first job. I think your daughter was a little in over her head and was being taken advantage of, (as were you and your time when her co-hostess piped up

and said she'd be the one to decide when she gets to go home, after y'all had been told 3:00). At 15 years old, she still has so much to learn and as her mother, part of your job is to help her understand what is acceptable and what is not; what obligations she has to an employer and what obligations THEY have to HER.

It's a two-way street. I doubt she'd have been treated the way she was had she been older, had more work experience, and been a little more savvy. She tried to handle things to the best of her ability, but she is 15 years old and this was her first time out of the gate. You did the right thing by stepping in for her.

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neenzaur - NTA- when I was about 12 years old my mom worked two jobs and I stayed with my grandparents. On the nights she would get out early enough we would go to Dairy Queen for a treat. I forgot the details but I liked this one blizzard and there was no consistency in how it was made.

Half of the time it would be right and the other half it would be wrong, so I figured out how to specifically order it. Well one time the employee just blew me off when I tried to explain and of course it came out wrong. So my mom encouraged me to tell them it was wrong and ask for a new one.

The employee tried ignoring me again and talking to my mom instead and my mom said something along the lines of, “She tried to explain it to you and you didn’t listen. She knows what she wants. Talk to her.” It was a great lesson for me in advocating for myself, but it was ice cream, not abuse at a job.

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Yes, your daughter needs to learn how to stand up for herself, but in situations appropriate for her age. Being blatantly abused at work needs a parent’s intervention at 15. I get that she feels embarrassed and subsequently mad though. I hope you doing what you did is something she comes to understand better as she ages.

Side note: props for staying so calm. If the co-hostess (I’m picturing someone no more than 25 y/o TBH) said to me that she “actually” decides when my minor child leaves, I think my response would have been something along the line of “the f**k you do”.

These hot takes cheer the mom’s protective streak, but do they address the daughter’s hurt feelings? Reddit’s verdict: the restaurant was the real villain here!

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This saga of a teen’s disastrous first job and a mom’s swift intervention highlights the messy balance between shielding a child and respecting their growth. The restaurant’s shady practices—illegal hours, ignored abuse—justified the mother’s move, but her daughter’s anger shows the cost of stepping in. As they navigate this fallout, the question lingers: how do you protect a teen without stealing their voice? What would you do in a toxic work situation for your kid? Drop your thoughts, stories, or parenting tips below!

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