AITA for quitting my babysitting job without notice?

A 23-year-old woman who babysits to cover rent found herself in an increasingly uncomfortable position with one of her regular clients. The single father she worked for began treating her less like a hired sitter and more like a stand-in parent, committing her to events and activities without asking first. What started as simple after-school care escalated into expectations that she attend games, cheer at practices, and even chaperone school trips—all while he promised the kids she would be there.

Frustrated after repeatedly asking him to stop volunteering her, she finally texted him that he needed to find a new babysitter. His explosive reaction—screaming and insulting her—left her questioning her decision. Now, online opinions are pouring in about whether quitting on the spot made her the asshole in this messy situation.

‘AITA for quitting my babysitting job without notice?’

The arrangement began as straightforward childcare for two kids on weekdays and weekends.

I (23F) babysit on the side to afford rent. There's this one man Andrew (43M) who I work for a lot. He's a single dad and has a demanding job...

and Jason (10M) a lot on the weekdays and weekends. Picking them up from school and being with them until Andrew gets back from work.

Extra responsibilities started piling up, often with promises made directly to the children.

Recently he's asked me to do more like take Jason to his soccer games and stick around to cheer him on because he's the only kid who gets picked up...

It's the same with Amy for her dance classes. He keeps doing thins like that, offering to pay me double to do it. And promises the kids that I'll do...

It's gotten ridiculous and I feel like he's trying to make me the kids new mom. So I texted him saying he'd need to find a new babysitter after he...

The fallout revealed repeated warnings that had been ignored, followed by an aggressive response.

He called me to scream at me, calling me every name under the sun for quitting without notice and for no reason. I spoke to a guy friend to get...

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edit: I told him to stop volunteering me for things and promising the kids I'd go several times. He'd laugh it off and do it again a few weeks later.

This situation highlights a common boundary issue in childcare arrangements that can quickly turn exploitative. The father gradually expanded the babysitter’s role beyond the original agreement, using financial incentives and emotional pressure from the children to secure her compliance. By committing her to events before confirming her availability, he effectively removed her agency and placed her in a position where saying no meant disappointing the kids. What makes the dynamic more troubling is the repeated dismissal of her explicit requests to stop this behavior, showing a clear lack of respect for her as an independent contractor rather than a family member.

Opposing views often center on professional courtesy, with some arguing that any job deserves notice to allow the employer time to find a replacement—especially when children are involved. However, this perspective overlooks the power imbalance and the father’s inappropriate reaction. Screaming and name-calling upon receiving the resignation text is not the response of a reasonable employer; it suggests entitlement and an inability to accept boundaries. The babysitter’s decision to end the arrangement abruptly becomes understandable in light of this hostility and the ongoing overreach.

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From a broader social standpoint, the story reflects ongoing challenges for single parents who rely heavily on paid help while juggling demanding careers. Yet it also underscores the risks of “parentification” of caregivers, particularly young women, who may feel pressured into filling emotional roles that go far beyond their job description. Healthy arrangements require clear communication, mutual respect, and recognition that extra pay does not buy unlimited access to someone’s time or emotional labor.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Many users rallied behind the babysitter, stressing that the father’s behavior fully justified her immediate exit.

gravitationalarray − He SCREAMED at you? ! NTA! And for no reason, I think he gave you plenty of reasons. Why doesn't he hire a nanny? I'm sorry, OP, he...

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[Reddit User] − NTA. You arent the kids mother, it's not your job to cheer them on or take them on field trips.

[Reddit User] − wow. So NTA and bullet dodged. Toxic boss - made worse given that you probably are alone with him on occasion

owls_and_cardinals − I will go NTA because the dad acted really inappropriately, firstly for committing you to do something before actually asking you if you could,

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and then for his reaction after, and I can understand why in this situation you acted differently than you would have if not for his behavior.

Your friend is right that you should have given more notice but I think the requirement to be courteous diminishes when you're being taken advantage of.

Still, it would have been better if you'd talked to the dad about not being able to expand on your services, or about wanting him to talk to you about...

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Something like "Please do not sign me up to do things outside of what we're already agreed / scheduled to do because I don't want anyone to plan around me...

Philip_J_Fry3000 − NTA for quitting. I wouldn't want to be in that situation. What he has to do in response to you quitting isn't your problem. You might be doing...

A smaller group acknowledged the value of notice while still respecting her choice and criticizing the father’s actions.

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RoyallyOakie − NTA. ..He's simply throwing money at a problem instead of solving it. He needs to learn how to parent and how to prioritize.

Comfortable-Focus123 − NTA - This judgement is based on his behavior and reaction after you quit. This was not a normal babysitting arrangement. He was parentifying you, even if there...

He cannot schedule your time in advance without checking with you. I have a feeling that even if you did give notice, his reaction would have been just as horrible.

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Finally, a couple of commenters added lighter takes to cut through the tension.

11SkiHill − Nope. You are right he is using you as a surrogate for himself. Quit. He needs to parent his own kids. And he knows it.

YesImReallyLikeThis − NTA. If you wanted to be their parent you would have married their father.

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[Reddit User] − You can quit any job, any time, with any amount of notice, even if that notice is 0. NTA

In the end, the online community largely sided with the babysitter, ruling her not the asshole due to the father’s repeated boundary violations and explosive reaction. While some noted that professional notice is ideal, most agreed that his behavior eroded any obligation for courtesy on her part. The situation served as a cautionary tale about clear communication in childcare roles.

What do you think—should she have stuck it out long enough to give formal notice, or was quitting immediately the safest move? Have you ever dealt with a client or boss who kept pushing extra duties without asking? Share your experiences below!

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