AITA for quitting drinking alcohol after my 9 years-old implied I should?

Sometimes, the most confronting wake-up calls don’t come from doctors, ultimatums, or dramatic consequences. They come from children asking simple questions that land a little too close to the truth. For one father, a casual comment from his 9-year-old about beer being “poison” triggered a decision that would quietly reshape his daily life.

What followed wasn’t praise or support, but criticism from the adults around him. His wife told him he was more fun when he drank. His friends said he was childish for letting a kid influence him. As the discussion unfolded on social media, readers weren’t just debating alcohol. They were questioning why sobriety so often reveals uncomfortable dynamics in relationships that once felt normal.

AITA for quitting drinking alcohol after my 9 years-old implied I should?

The moment that set everything in motion came during an ordinary conversation at home

A few weeks ago my son asked me why I was drinking beer since it's full of "poison" (he watches a lot of YT science videos and on that day...

That moment when my brain processed an answer felt like an eternity and I said that he was right, it is poisonous and I shall quit drinking.

Now, I understand that may be an extreme reaction, but I feared he might consider it OK to interact with poisonous substances at one point in his life if I...

The reaction from his wife came almost immediately

The next day, while shopping, my wife notices I didn't buy any booze and I explain to her what happened the day before. She tells me I'm being childish for...

A week after that conversation, she tells me I was a lot more fun to be around when I was off the wagon. I asked a few friends and they...

and stupid since all kids tell their parents to quit smoking, drinking, etc. and that it never makes a difference (from their experience). They also frowned upon me being less...

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The poster openly acknowledged the difficulty of early sobriety

As for the "less fun to be around", that's on me and they are right, it's been tough to envision your life without a cold one and since I'm on...

Despite doubts creeping in, his conviction remained strong

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I was never ashamed of admitting I was an a__oholic and I am quite confident in my actions but I have this shadow of a doubt which makes me ponder...

not for quitting but for the underlying reason (that my son doesn't go down that path).. Thank you for reading this far.. I apologize for any spelling mistakes and/or grammar,...

This story highlights how sobriety often disrupts more than habits; it challenges social roles people have grown comfortable with. The poster didn’t quit drinking to impress his child or perform morality. He responded honestly to a question that forced him to confront how his behavior might be modeled and remembered. That kind of self-reflection is rarely childish.

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From the wife and friends’ perspective, discomfort often comes from change. When someone stops drinking, group dynamics shift. Conversations feel different. Humor changes. For people who rely on alcohol as social glue, sobriety can feel like loss rather than growth, even when the change is healthy.

Psychologist Dr. Gabor Maté has said, “The question is not why the addiction, but why the pain.” When someone chooses sobriety, it can expose unresolved issues in relationships that were once masked by alcohol. The reaction of others often says more about their coping mechanisms than the person who quit.

Practically, early sobriety is a vulnerable time. Reduced energy, emotional recalibration, and social discomfort are common. Supportive partners typically focus on long-term health rather than short-term entertainment value. Seeking sober-friendly activities, peer support, or counseling can help reinforce confidence while relationships either adapt or naturally fall away.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Many users applauded the poster, praising his self-awareness and parenting

ResurrectionScary − It's sad that 9 year olds are smarter than your entire social circle. If you were an a__oholic, it doesn't matter what the reason that snapped you out...

If your wife actually thinks you were better as a drunk, what that means is, she liked her life a lot better when you weren't really "present" in it. That's...

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CrabbiestAsp − NTA. I think giving up drinking for your 9yo is actually really great! Maybe parents should listen to their kids when they ask them to give up on...

DJ4116 − Kids are GREAT at holding you accountable. Good for you and I wish you success on this journey. NTA

mutantraniE − NTA. You are the opposite of an a__hole. You’re trying to be there for your kid. Good, you just proved you love your kid more than alcohol.

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My parents were hippies and got together in the 70s. When my mom got pregnant with my older sister they quit smoking, quit drinking and got off all drugs.

Dad would occasionally have a light (0.8% alcohol) beer for dinner and one glass of booze every Christmas. That was it. The first time I saw my father drunk was...

I was 22 and he waited until my underage siblings had fallen asleep. I will always be thankful that my parents didn’t get drunk or high around us. Keep up...

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Instant-Bacon − Sounds like you need to start taking more life advice from 9 year olds and listen less to your adult friends

Others pointed out how sobriety can make other people uneasy

unusual-feline − People who have a problem with you not drinking typical have a drinking problem themselves. Your sobriety highlights that.

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NoImagination7892 − If you had a drinking problem, then this sounds like a eye opener that gave you reason to quit. This is a very noble move. Your wife seems...

DoomForNoOne − Having alcoholics as friends and family makes it pretty hard to quit. You're doing great and I'm proud of you that you want to change your lifestyle for...

ajombes − Not at all. You are doing something to improve yourself and people who love you should support that. You are not being bossed around by your child,

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he said something that made you think of it in a certain way that led to you making a smart decision for the benefit of your son and yourself. This...

AcanthisittaRadiant7 − The moment I read "You're a lot more fun when you're off the wagon", and then the responses from your friends,

I'm certain that your wife doesn't love you, and your friends aren't your friends. No I'm not joking or exaggerating, that's 100% true. They don't care for you at all.

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Some comments took a more emotional and personal angle

Fuzzy_Attempt6989 − You are doing great! My father died from esophageal cancer from drinking and smoking. I wish he'd cared a bit about his kids and had taken care of...

kapofx − You're giving your body a chance to last longer now because you listened to your kid. Because he was such a big part of you dropping alcohol suddenly.

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Maybe pen him a letter now of how you feel right now today. How he was the reason you quit because of what he said to you. That no one...

That him believing in you was all he needed. Don't give him that letter. Hang on to it. If you ever get the urge or peer pressured from those bad...

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remember that letter you wrote. When he's old enough or some event. 18th, his graduation, his wedding, his first child or whenever you feel ready.

Hand him that letter and give him a hug. Chances are he probably won't remember telling you it was poison all those years ago. The moment when you quit.

[Reddit User] − NTA Um… what? Your friends are giving you s__t for not drinking or smoking as much because your kid is concerned about your health? Tell those assholes...

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Your kid loves you. He wants you to be healthy… you’re his dad. These fuckwads just want you to entertain them with drunken bafoonery. I mean, don’t get me wrong.

There’s nothing wrong with some good drunken bafoonery once in awhile. But being a good dad is more important.

Tell them to eat a d__k… somebody’s gotta be the adult in that group. Even the 9 year old knows that. And he’s too young for that job, so it...

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MAnnie3283 − I don’t have the mental energy to respond to this fully. Alcohol is inherently bad for you. Not drinking it is a good choice.

l3ex_G − Nta, if you’re going through withdrawal I can understand you not being “fun” but it’s weird that your friends and family are making comments like that.

You can just not drink and it should be fine. Is your culture one that drinking everyday is a normal custom?

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This story resonated because it challenges the idea that adulthood means ignoring wisdom from unexpected places. The poster didn’t quit drinking out of fear or pressure, but out of honesty and care for his child. While sobriety may temporarily change how others perceive him, many readers felt that being present, healthy, and self-aware mattered far more than being “fun.” If you were in his place, would you question the reason you quit, or feel proud that you listened when it mattered most?

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