AITA for putting my single best friends before my married ones all the time?
Imagine crafting a dream life with two best friends, buying neighboring homes, tearing down fences, and sharing gardens, chickens, and travel plans like a chosen family. That’s the vibrant setup one 45-year-old single woman enjoys with her friends Alice and Claire, treating them as her core unit, much like a spouse. But when her married friend got upset over being sidelined—especially for a Morocco trip they dreamed of 20 years ago—the woman’s habit of checking with Alice and Claire first sparked a heated clash. The married friend feels excluded, calling her an a**hole for prioritizing her “single friends,” while the woman sees no issue, noting married friends always put their spouses first.
This Reddit saga digs into chosen family, friendship dynamics, and old promises. Is she wrong for prioritizing her best friends, or is her married friend’s hurt a double standard? Let’s unpack the story, get an expert’s take, and see how Reddit roots through this friendship tangle.
‘AITA for putting my single best friends before my married ones all the time?’
A single woman’s tight bond with her best friends stirred tension with her married friend. Here’s the full story from the Reddit post:
This friendship feud is less about travel plans and more about navigating differing life priorities within relationships. The woman’s setup with Alice and Claire—shared property, resources, and responsibilities—functions as a non-traditional family, giving her the same right to prioritize them as married friends do their spouses. The married friend’s upset, particularly over the Morocco trip, stems from feeling devalued, but her expectation of inclusion overlooks the woman’s established dynamic.
Relationship coach Dr. Susan Campbell notes, “Friendships evolve with life stages; clear communication prevents assumptions from fueling hurt.” A 2024 study in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 60% of friendship conflicts arise from mismatched expectations about availability. The married friend’s failure to initiate Morocco plans in 20 years and her spouse-first approach mirror the woman’s friend-first stance, suggesting a mutual misunderstanding.
Dr. Campbell advises a candid talk: the woman could affirm her friend’s value while explaining her bond with Alice and Claire, perhaps offering a separate trip or meetup. The woman’s exclusion wasn’t malicious but a natural extension of her life.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Reddit’s planting firm takes on this friendship garden spat—here’s the colorful commentary:
![[Reddit User] − ESH. YTA. I change my judgement based on how much OP is arguing with everyone. She's not looking for an honest judgement.. You're TA becuase you never even bothered to ask her if she still wanted to go. You acknowledge in comments that it's hard to balance life and family.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/236622cmt-16.png)
These responses bloom with support for the woman’s chosen family while sowing empathy for the married friend’s hurt. Can a heart-to-heart replant this friendship, or are their paths too divergent?
This story of prioritizing best friends over a married one unearths how chosen families can clash with traditional expectations. The woman’s not wrong to put Alice and Claire first—they’re her life’s core, just as a spouse is for her married friend. Excluding her from the Morocco trip, though, stings due to their shared history, and a lack of communication deepened the rift. A sincere talk or a smaller gesture, like a weekend getaway, might mend things without uprooting her priorities. Have you ever juggled a close friendship with other life bonds? What would you do in this woman’s shoes? Share your thoughts below!
