AITA for putting my housemates’ dog in a kennel and footing her with the bill?

Picture this: a cozy shared house, two friends splitting bills and chores like a well-oiled machine, until a furry new housemate—a dog—stirs the pot. The OP, caught in a whirlwind of work and plans, agreed to watch their housemate’s dog during her frequent getaways, only to face last-minute trip extensions that left them scrambling. This time, with a long-awaited family holiday on the line, the OP made a bold move, sparking a heated debate that’s got Reddit buzzing with opinions.

What happens when friendship, responsibility, and a dog collide? The OP’s tale of kennels and unpaid bills unfolds like a sitcom episode, full of tension and a dash of absurdity. Readers can’t help but wonder: was the OP right to prioritize their plans, or did they cross a line by outsourcing pet care? Let’s dive into this messy housemate saga.

‘AITA for putting my housemates’ dog in a kennel and footing her with the bill?’

Me and my housemate moved in together a few years ago, we were friends for a long time beforehand, and despite the usual housemate quibbles, we've gotten along great as housemates.. We both work, contribute 50/50 to bills and chores. Then, she got a dog.

We agreed that she was fine to get a dog, so long as she understood that it was *her* dog, and I wouldn't be taking on any of the caring tasks for the dog. *(I work a very demanding job, and I simply don't have the time for a pet).* She was fine with this, so got the dog. In the time she's had the dog, she's had a good number of trips away where she hasn't been able to take the dog.

I've agreed each time that I'll take care of the dog while she's away, since I understand that you can't always bring an animal along with you. She's had a habit of extending her trips away last minute (as in, the day she's due to come back) leaving me stuck with the dog. It's annoying, and I've brought it up to her many times, but it keeps happening..

Current situation. She was going away again and needed me to look after the dog. I agreed but told her multiple times that I had a family holiday planned and she would need to be back on the agreed day. So, it's the day she's due back. Once again, I get a message telling me that she's going to be back a few days later than planned.

I messaged her back to tell her that I was going away the next day, and she needs to be home because there will be no one to take care of the dog.. She doesn't reply. I message her again, still no reply. I wasn't about to cancel my long-planned holiday for the sake of her poor planning, but I also wasn't okay with just leaving the dog on his own.

So I contacted a local kennel, it was a very nice doggy hotel, and I was sure to research to make sure it was a good and reputable place. I explain my situation and book the dog in. I message her once I've dropped the dog off, and tell her where to pick the dog up, how long he was booked in for, and that she needs to pay for the keep when she arrives.

Then I rush to get to the station in time for my train to my holiday. Suddenly, she's able to message me back. She sends me a long ranting message about how she can't afford that, how I've been irresponsible handing off her dog to random people, and that it wasn't my place to do that.

I messaged her back saying that I had no choice, tried to message her about it, and she needs to deal with it.. ​. I've spoken to my family about it, there's a divide on whether or not what I did was right.. I'm really not sure if I did the right thing, AITA?

This dog-sitting drama highlights the delicate balance of boundaries in shared living. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes in his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work that clear communication is vital for any partnership, including friendships: “Without open dialogue, assumptions fester and resentment builds.” The OP’s housemate assumed flexibility, ignoring agreed boundaries, while the OP’s kennel decision, though practical, escalated tension due to poor communication on both sides.

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The OP faced a dilemma: cancel a personal holiday or ensure the dog’s safety. Their choice to prioritize their plans reflects a broader issue of setting limits in cohabitation. A 2021 study from Apartment Therapy found 62% of roommates clash over unshared responsibilities, like pet care. The housemate’s failure to respond left the OP with little choice, but proactively discussing alternatives could have softened the blow.

Dr. Gottman’s advice on conflict resolution—address issues calmly and directly—applies here. The OP could propose a pet care plan for future trips, like pre-arranging kennels or backup sitters, to avoid surprises. Both parties should renegotiate boundaries to rebuild trust, ensuring pet responsibilities don’t derail their friendship. Clear agreements, perhaps even written, can prevent such mix-ups.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving up a spicy mix of support and shade for this kennel conundrum. It’s like a virtual barbecue where everyone’s got a hot take, and the grill’s sizzling with opinions. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd, packed with cheers and a few raised eyebrows:

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queencuntpunt − NTA. ​ Isn't it funny how she could magically find the time to answer when she actually had a price to pay for her extended leave? But whatever, roomie gets her extended vaca, you get to keep yours plans, and the dog is still being cared for.. ​

SERIOUSLY THOUGH, YOU ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO SACRIFICE YOUR PLANS TO ALLOW ROOMIE TO OVEREXTEND HERS. I would refuse to watch the dog ever again, point out how often she doesn't return on time and the fact that you didn't want the dog to being with.

Slytherinmillenial93 − NTA. But I would recommend you get a new housemate. Why should you be unconvinced? One thing I tell people is that your lack of planning is not an emergency for me.

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Unhappy-Pool-709 − NTA… you didn’t do anything wrong. The fact that you took the time to even research and find a suitable kennel for her dog is a courtesy that most people in your position probably wouldn’t do. She should be happy that her dog is being cared for.

[Reddit User] − NTA. “Since you think I’m irresponsible, it’s best that I never dog sit for you again.”

I-am-here-what-next − NTA She's a terrible pet owner and irresponsible person. How would anyone think you were wrong about this? No sane person would give up their own vacation for a roommate who made a choice putting it on another person.

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Relevant-Position-43 − NTA. Assuming, of course, that you NEVER agree to a day of pet sitting ever again. If you invite the camel in ever again, don't come to reddit with the results. The first time she was late should have been the last time you agreed to taking on her responsibility.

pink_gem − NTA. I mean, that's 100% what I would have done in your situation. If the roommate would have preferred you do something else (that wasn't 'stay home and miss your vacation') then she could have texted you.

Even something as small as, 'I am texting around to my friends to try to find someone who will take him; give me two hours', or something. But she didn't, so your solution was totally appropriate.

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Ok-Staff8103 − NTA your roommate is inconsiderate and ungrateful tell her the next time they go on a trip to either bring the dog along or it's going to the kennel because your not dog sitting anymore

Livvylove − NTA she thought you would sacrifice yourself so she could do whatever she wanted. Nah she can pay for that bill.

laughingsbetter − Of course NTA - you were communicative, she was not. It is her dog. She needs to grow up.

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Reddit’s verdict leans heavily toward the OP, praising their effort to secure a reputable kennel while slamming the housemate’s flaky behavior. Some suggested cutting off future dog-sitting duties entirely, while others saw the kennel bill as a fair consequence. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just fanning the drama?

This tale of a dog, a kennel, and a friendship fraying at the edges shows how quickly assumptions can unravel even the best-laid plans. The OP’s decisive action ensured the dog’s safety but left their housemate fuming, proving that boundaries are only as strong as the communication behind them. What would you do if you were stuck between a friend’s pet and your own plans? Share your thoughts and experiences—how do you handle roommate responsibilities gone awry?

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