AITA For Prioritizing My Son’s Health Over MIL’s Feelings?
Some boundaries are written in ink, others in stomach cramps—and in this case, a mother had to draw the line with her mother-in-law after witnessing her child suffer again and again. Joey, a sweet and sensitive four-year-old, can’t consume dairy. His body reacts harshly, with severe stomach pain, vomiting, and sleepless nights. So when his grandmother—despite being told numerous times—kept feeding him milk and ice cream, his mother finally said “enough.”
But family lines aren’t so easy to redraw. Her decision to stop letting MIL babysit sparked a firestorm. Her husband thinks she overreacted, her MIL exploded with accusations, and relatives jumped in with guilt-tripping texts. Now, caught between protecting her child and preserving family peace, this mom turned to Reddit for clarity. Was she too harsh? Or just the only adult in the room doing what needed to be done?
‘AITA for telling MIL she could no longer babysit after she disregarded my son’s dietary restrictions and caused him severe stomach pain?’
When it comes to parenting, few choices are as straightforward—and as controversial—as protecting your child’s health. In this story, OP didn’t just face a clash of generations—she faced a crisis of priorities. Her mother-in-law repeatedly fed her child something that made him ill, and her husband minimized it. What’s a mom to do?
First, let’s acknowledge the obvious: this is not about one scoop of ice cream. It’s about repeated, willful neglect of medical instructions. According to pediatric gastroenterologist Dr. Julie Khlevner, “For children with food intolerances, continued exposure can lead to gastrointestinal damage, nutritional deficiencies, and emotional distress.”
In Joey’s case, this isn’t a preference—it’s a prescription. What’s more disturbing is that MIL’s actions weren’t innocent ignorance. She had been told—clearly, multiple times—not to give dairy. Yet she did, again and again. That isn’t an accident. That’s a disregard of a child’s medical condition, which crosses the line into neglectful behavior.
And the husband’s response? Deeply concerning. In marriage, parenting is a partnership. When one partner dismisses legitimate health concerns and undermines the other behind their back, it erodes trust. Licensed therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab, author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, explains: “When people don’t respect your boundaries, it’s often because they’ve never had to face a consequence.”
This is exactly why OP’s decision was necessary. If someone repeatedly puts your child in harm’s way—yes, even a grandparent—then it’s your duty to remove that threat. It doesn’t mean cutting ties forever. But it does mean enforcing accountability.
More broadly, this story highlights a recurring issue: when older generations refuse to accept newer health realities or parenting norms, they often frame it as “overreacting.” But let’s be clear—protecting a child from pain isn’t hysteria. It’s love in action.
If OP wants to move forward, she might consider involving a pediatrician to document Joey’s condition and back her decisions medically. This protects her legally and emotionally. It also shifts the conversation from “emotions” to “evidence”—a tactic often necessary when dealing with stubborn family members. Boundaries are love. And sometimes, the kindest thing you can do is say, “No more.”
Check out how the community responded:
Reddit rallied hard behind OP, and the verdict was loud and clear: NTA. Many commenters were horrified that a grandmother would repeatedly feed a child something harmful and then claim victimhood. One user flatly called it “poisoning,” while another stressed that repeated exposure to food sensitivities in young children can cause long-term internal damage.
Commenters also turned their sights on the husband, criticizing him for gaslighting and enabling his mother’s behavior. Several advised OP to get medical documentation of the child’s condition and to involve legal support if MIL made good on her “grandparents’ rights” threat. Others got bluntly practical: “Make your husband stay up all night next time and clean up the vomit,” one quipped. Across the board, Reddit agreed—OP wasn’t overreacting. She was the only one acting like a responsible adult.
When it comes to children’s health, there’s no room for debate—especially when the pain is preventable. OP stood her ground, not out of spite, but out of duty. The price? A fractured family dynamic. But the gain? A safer, healthier son.
So what do you think? Was OP justified in cutting off her MIL from babysitting duties? What would you do if a trusted family member ignored your child’s medical needs? Let us know in the comments—because for every Joey out there, someone needs to speak up.
