AITA for preferring to watch a movie with my younger daughter instead of my older?

A father, frustrated by his 23-year-old daughter’s persistent negativity during a challenging year, openly favored spending time with his optimistic 14-year-old daughter during a family movie night dispute. After his older daughter’s movie choice, Contagion, was rejected in favor of her sister’s preference, 12 Monkeys, he harshly criticized her as a “sad draining mop,” leading to her distress and his wife’s disapproval.

The Reddit community overwhelmingly condemns his lack of empathy, highlighting the older daughter’s struggles with job losses and a breakup. Was he justified in prioritizing a positive environment, or did his actions unfairly alienate his older daughter?

‘AITA for preferring to watch a movie with my younger daughter instead of my older?’

The man’s older daughter faced significant setbacks due to the pandemic:

Her recent breakup intensified her distress:

A movie night dispute escalated tensions:

He sided with his younger daughter, harshly criticizing the older:

The father’s frustration with his older daughter’s negativity is understandable, as her ongoing distress may challenge his desire for a positive household. However, his harsh words and clear favoritism toward his younger daughter reflect emotional neglect (Bowlby’s attachment theory), exacerbating his older daughter’s struggles during a difficult time.

His older daughter’s depression, likely triggered by repeated job losses, a breakup, and the loss of independence, requires empathy rather than dismissal. By prioritizing his younger daughter’s movie choice and labeling the older as a “sad draining mop,” he invalidated her legitimate struggles, disrupting family dynamics (Bowen’s family systems theory). His emphasis on financial support over emotional care suggests a limited understanding of her needs.

This incident risks long-term damage to his relationship with his older daughter, potentially fostering resentment and alienation. His wife’s reaction indicates broader family tension, and his favoritism may also impact his younger daughter’s perception of fairness and empathy in the family.

To mend this, the man should apologize to his older daughter, acknowledging her struggles and his hurtful words. He could offer to watch Contagion with her one-on-one and encourage open discussions about her feelings, possibly suggesting therapy to address her depression. Family counseling could help restore balance, ensuring both daughters feel valued and supported.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit community unanimously labels the man YTA for his lack of empathy and favoritism, emphasizing his older daughter’s legitimate struggles. Here’s what they said:

Condemning his lack of empathy and favoritism:

Highlighting the older daughter’s resilience and need for support:

Urging action to repair the relationship:

This family movie night dispute reveals a father’s failure to empathize with his older daughter’s legitimate struggles, as his preference for his younger daughter’s positivity led to hurtful words and alienation. The Reddit community condemns his lack of emotional support, emphasizing the older daughter’s resilience amidst job losses and personal setbacks.

The incident raises questions about balancing positivity with compassion in parenting. Should he have validated his older daughter’s feelings, or was his desire for a positive environment reasonable? How should parents support children facing different life challenges?