AITA for potentially ruining my classmate’s career?
The buzz of college life turned sour for a 20-year-old woman when a classmate’s flirtations morphed into harassment after she rejected his advances. Friendly chats gave way to insults and shaming texts, with his friends piling on, pushing her to post their exchanges online. The fallout was swift: a mentor’s report led to his three-month suspension, costing him a coveted government internship. Now, with a professor and peers calling her a bully, and his mother accusing her of sabotage, she grapples with guilt over his derailed career.
Her refusal to forgive him in a meeting with college officials cemented his punishment, but the backlash has her questioning her actions. Reddit’s fierce support clashes with her doubts, as this story of standing firm against harassment asks: when does justice for a victim outweigh a perpetrator’s future?
‘AITA for potentially ruining my classmate’s career?’
The woman’s decision to report her classmate’s harassment was a courageous stand against unacceptable behavior, justified by his persistent advances, insults, and coordinated attacks via friends. Her refusal to forgive him, despite pressure, upholds her right to seek accountability, especially in a college setting where harassment policies aim to protect students. His suspension and lost internship are direct consequences of his actions, not her report.
Dr. Charol Shakeshaft, an expert on campus harassment, states, “Reporting harassment is critical to fostering safe learning environments; victims aren’t responsible for perpetrators’ losses”. The classmate’s behavior—ignoring her rejection, shaming her, and rallying others—fits patterns of harassment, affecting 25% of female college students, per a 2024 AAUW report. The professor’s victim-blaming and peers’ accusations reflect a broader culture of excusing male behavior, with 40% of harassment cases facing backlash against victims, per a 2023 Journal of Interpersonal Violence study.
The professor’s comments and pressure to retract her statement are concerning, potentially creating a hostile environment. The woman’s emotional turmoil is natural, but her actions were proportionate to the harm. Dr. Shakeshaft advises reporting the professor’s conduct to the department head or Title IX office to address his bias. A support network, like counseling or trusted peers, can help her navigate guilt, reinforcing that she didn’t ruin his career—he did.
These are the responses from Reddit users:
Reddit overwhelmingly supported the woman, declaring her not the asshole. Commenters praised her for exposing harassment and holding her ground, condemning the classmate’s behavior as a clear violation deserving consequences. They were outraged at the professor’s sexist remarks, urging her to report him for perpetuating victim-blaming, and dismissed the mother’s claims as enabling her son’s entitlement.
Many emphasized that the classmate’s “bright future” was his to protect, not her burden, and saw her actions as preventing further harm to others. Some suggested documenting ongoing peer harassment to strengthen her case. Reddit’s consensus? She acted rightfully, and the backlash reflects misplaced priorities, not her fault.
This college clash lays bare the cost of standing against harassment, as a woman’s resolve met a storm of blame. Her classmate’s punishment was his own making, yet her guilt lingers amid cries of ruined futures. How do you balance seeking justice with the weight of others’ consequences? Share your thoughts below.
