AITA for pointing out to my sister its her attitude not her weight thats keeping her single and “not meant for a relationship”?

Picture a family living room, the air heavy with tension as one sister, let’s call her Emma (25), braces for another of her older sister Sarah’s (32) self-pitying rants about being single. Sarah blames her weight for her lack of a “high-value” husband, but her bitter jabs at “skinny” women and Emma’s engagement push Emma to snap, calling out Sarah’s sexist attitude as the real issue. The fallout? A cursing match, a quick exit, and their mom crying “bully.”

This isn’t just about a sibling spat—it’s about toxic mindsets and setting boundaries, much like guarding personal funds in a blended family. Emma’s fed-up outburst has Sarah doubling down and their mom playing referee. Reddit’s jumped in with takes as sharp as a holiday roast. Was Emma right to call out the attitude, or did she cross a line? Let’s dive into this family fireworks show.

‘AITA for pointing out to my sister its her attitude not her weight thats keeping her single and “not meant for a relationship”?’

I generally try to stay out of her pity parties, but shes been getting more insufferable since the pandemic started. Shes 28F im 25F if it matters. But shes been bigger most of her life, ive been floating between big and medium mine(thankfully on the lower end these days).

I think her 'dream job' is to be a house wife the ways shes always talked. wanting to raise kids, be a 'super mom/wife' while the 'hubby' does the work like a man(her words) Lately shes been going on about how she'll never get that, and how she 'isnt meant for a relationship' because she doesnt have the 'thin' privilege to pull in a high earning/high value partner. So shes meant for lower class and suffering.

Since the 'good men' only want stick figure house w*hores(again her words). And its just been getting worse and worse since I got engaged, since like I said im more of a medium size these days and couple with that my fiance works for a big IT company and has a good job.

Everything came to a head last night, when she went on another one of her pity party rants, and started throwing shade at me for proving yet again how men only want submissive skinny bitches not thick women. I told her to f**k off, and that her problems were because of her sexist s**tty attitude, not her weight, and reminded her i was bigger than her when i started dating him.

I called my fiancé to come pick me up because I didnt want to stay there the night, which of course he did but that just set her off even more. Now moms blowing up my phone about my 'bullying' my sister. I'll admit cursing at her may be a bit much, but you can only take so much before you just kinda blow up.. AITA?

Emma’s confrontation with Sarah is a raw moment of truth-telling in a family strained by resentment. Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a psychologist, notes, “Toxic attitudes, like entitlement or prejudice, can sabotage relationships more than external traits” . Sarah’s fixation on weight as her romantic barrier, paired with her derogatory views of other women and men, aligns with what some Redditors dubbed “female incel” behavior. Her attitude, not her size, likely repels potential partners, as Emma pointed out.

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This situation reflects a broader issue: internalized sexism and body image struggles. A 2021 study in Body Image found that 60% of women tie self-worth to societal beauty standards, often projecting frustration onto others . Sarah’s envy of Emma’s engagement and her “medium” size mirrors this, but her sexist ideals about “high-value” men” and “submissive” wives alienate her further. Emma’s outburst, though laced with curses, was a boundary-setting move, akin to protecting personal resources from overreach.

Dr. Whitbourne advises, “Confront toxic behavior with empathy but firmness.” Emma could apologize for her language to de-escalate, while urging Sarah to seek therapy for her self-esteem and worldview. Their mother’s involvement risks escalating the drama; Emma might suggest mom stay neutral, focusing on Sarah’s growth. By holding her ground, Emma’s defending her peace while highlighting a hard truth—attitude shapes destiny more than appearance.

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See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit rolled in like a family reunion with a grudge, serving up opinions with the heat of a summer barbecue. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

EleanorOfAquitaine- − NTA. But your sister is. As an aside, you guys are much too old to have your mom involved in your sibling arguments. If I were you, I would suggest that she stay out of it.

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velvet_wire − NTA, she’s basically a female incel it sounds like. “House whores”... ugh. I’m thick af and it’s never stopped me from dating or getting married. It’s definitely an attitude situation. No one wants to be with someone like that.. male or female.

Fergus74 − NTA. And there are literally millions of men out there who are into thick/chubby women so I can say that her problem is DEFINITELY her attitude.

pomfrida − NTA. You’re right, her attitude is sexist and s**tty. Unfortunately there’s a lot sexist guys too, but I guess she’s also right that those men usually want thinner women (trophy wife). She’s like the female version of an incel lol

radleynope − NTA I'm always shocked at how many women want to be housewives and then never do the work to become one. Like, learning how to cook really well, clean efficiently, budget like a pro, be organized, deal with the conflicts and psychological ins and outs of interrelationships etc.

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If she'd done all that, there'd definitely be takers no matter her size, and if she didn't want any of them, she'd have marketable skills and talents she could be proud of. If this is a fat thing, weight watchers exists, if it's a tall thing, tall guys exist, as well as short ones who really like tall women.

wngman − NTA, there is a difference between a sugar baby and a wife. She is also being just as shallow as these men she is talking about, except its not for looks. She only wants men that can support her stay at home lifestyle, and have lots of money.

I would tell her to go out and see if she can meet a decent guy. He doesn't have to be a high powered lawyer, in his 60's, on his third marriage (Stereotypical Sugar Dad in my head). What about a guy that can actually fall in love with your sister and give her a decent life.

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BroadElderberry − NTA. Lack of class with put off a potential partner *way* more than physical appearance. Skinny and pretty can only compensate for so much. She's never going to be a housewife if she has such a low opinion on them and and of the men that marry them.

jellytoast83 − I saw “thin privilege” and immediately went to NTA. There are an extremely few number of people (like 0.1%) that can eat whatever they want and as much as they want and not gain weight. That’s not privileged. Being overweight is purely down to overconsumption of calories for the amount of calories you burn off.

It’s nothing more complicated than that. Yes, some medical disorders make it more difficult to lose weight and certain medications increase your appetite, but they’re not the reason you’re fat. And constantly blaming everything else in life, instead of doing something about it,

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is totally off putting to anyone who can overlook your weight and see you as a potential romantic interest. Also, the degrading way she speaks about other women is absolutely disgusting and dripping with jealousy. Her attitude is vile and that’s why she’s single.

nap0202 − NTA. Sometimes people need to hear the s**tty truth, and this was a good time for that. She’s acting like a “nice girl,” convinced that something in the universe is keeping her from being in a relationship and blaming it on “sexist and gross men.”

[Reddit User] − NTA- I love how she’s shaming other women for their weight but lord knows if someone shamed her she would play the victim. She sounds very toxic, jealous, and hypocritical. Your mom needs to stay out of it.

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These Redditors cheered Emma’s clapback, slamming Sarah’s toxic mindset and her mom’s meddling. Some saw Sarah’s rants as self-inflicted misery, while others urged Emma to keep her distance. But do their fiery takes untangle the sibling mess, or are they just tossing fuel on the fire?

Emma’s blunt call-out of Sarah’s attitude was a sister’s breaking point, drawing a line against toxic rants much like setting financial boundaries in a blended family. With Sarah’s bitterness and their mom’s accusations, this family drama’s far from resolved. Was Emma’s truth-telling a wake-up call or a step too far? What would you do if a sibling’s pity party turned toxic? Share your thoughts below and let’s unpack this heated saga!

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