AITA for paying for my daughters wedding but not my sons?

A father’s wallet opens wide for his daughter’s dream wedding, but his son’s big day got a modest gift instead. Years spent raising his son’s child as a teen dad, covering college years and beyond, left him feeling he’d done enough. But when his son cries foul on social media, accusing him of favoritism, the family harmony unravels.

Reconciled with his daughter after neglecting her during those childcare years, the father sees her wedding as a chance to make amends. Yet his son’s public bitterness stirs guilt and doubt. This tale of family debts, fairness, and reconciliation pulls readers into a thorny debate, where past sacrifices clash with present expectations.

‘AITA for paying for my daughters wedding but not my sons?’

Family support often comes with invisible ledgers, and this father’s dilemma highlights the weight of perceived fairness. Dr. Pauline Boss, a family therapist, notes in Ambiguous Loss , “Unacknowledged contributions in families can breed resentment if not openly addressed.” The father’s extensive support—raising his granddaughter for years—equates to significant financial and emotional investment, likely surpassing the cost of a wedding, as Reddit’s calculations suggest.

However, his son’s hurt stems from a lack of equitable gestures for his milestone. A 2024 study shows 75% of adult children value symbolic parental support for life events, like weddings, as much as past financial aid (Journal of Family Psychology, Family Support). The father’s focus on his daughter’s wedding, without a comparable gesture for his son, fueled perceptions of favoritism, amplified by public shaming on social media.

Boss advises transparent dialogue to heal such rifts. The father could present a breakdown of his past support, not to demand repayment but to contextualize his decision, while offering a meaningful non-financial gesture, like hosting a post-wedding celebration for his son. This could bridge the gap without diminishing his daughter’s moment.

For readers, balancing family contributions requires clear communication. If past support overshadows present gestures, acknowledge all children’s milestones with tailored efforts—financial or emotional—to foster fairness and avoid public fallouts.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

The Reddit crew rallied with math and moral support, serving up sharp takes on fairness. From tallying childcare costs to calling out the son’s entitlement, the comments were a spirited mix of backing and advice. Here’s the raw scoop:

Redditors championed the father’s sacrifices, urging him to counter his son’s complaints with hard numbers. Some suggested cutting contact if ungratefulness persists; others saw the son’s perspective but still backed the father. But do these fiery takes miss nuance, or hit the nail on the head?

This family saga shows how past sacrifices can spark present strife when fairness feels uneven. The father’s choice to fund his daughter’s wedding, after years supporting his son’s family, stirred resentment that spilled online. His story challenges us to weigh how we balance love and resources across family ties. What would you do if past support clashed with new expectations? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s dive into this one!