AITA for “overreacting” to my parents threatening to throw me out?

Tucked in a quiet suburban home, a young man’s recovery from major surgery takes a bitter turn. At 22, he’s grappling with strict post-op rules—no lifting over a kilogram, no missed pain meds—yet his parents’ house, meant to be a haven, feels more like a pressure cooker. A heated spat over cat food and unmet needs erupts, with his mother’s threat to toss him out cutting deeper than any scalpel. Readers are left wondering: is he ungrateful, or are his parents failing to support him?

The tension spills over as he vents to friends, weighing whether to flee with his two cats. His parents call him dramatic, but the Reddit community rallies behind him, urging escape from a toxic setup. This tale of clashing expectations and emotional tug-of-war pulls us into a raw family conflict, where healing meets hostility.

‘AITA for “overreacting” to my parents threatening to throw me out?’

I’ve (22M) have had a massive operation done, where the recovery is rough (I’m not allowed to lift things that weight over 1 kg and so forth). I was offered to stay at a recovering center but my parents would hear nothing of it and helped me move me and my 2 cats into their house..

However, yesterday my mom threatened to throw me out. The reason for this is because she took me with her on an errand, making me miss the time-slot for my pain meds and trying to make me carry stuff that is too heavy, putting me in a cranky mood.

So when I asked her to put dry cat food in a specific container, and she ignored it, I just kept repeating myself like a parrot. This resulted in her screaming at me, threatening to throw my ass on the street and then yeeting the open bag of cat food out on the sidewalk.

I got to work trying to pick up the food and my dad came out to help. I explained the situation to him, where he got defensive on behalf of my mom.. They think I’m ungrateful, whereas I feel like I’m trying to heal in an environment with almost no support..

According to my dad, during the 3 weeks I’ve lived with them, they’ve:. - fed me 3 times a day. - fed and taken care of my cats. - drove me to the hospital for the second surgery and back again. - helped with hard to reach/carry stuff. - change my bandages every 2-3 days.

However, through my eyes: my dad have only fed me lunch once. No breakfast or lunch otherwise, despite him working from home. They got angry when I informed them of this, but my mom did leave müslibars out for me to eat most days afterwards.

I started feeding my cats again post-op. Yet my parents would still feed them and let them out early in the morning, despite the fact that the cats wake up at the same time as me (around 7-8 a.m). - my dad did drive me, but he had insisted when I had offered to take public transport.. - everything they help me reach is removed again.

They have helped with bandages, but I’ve done it on my own the last couple of times. Furthermore, my wound has leaked blood in 5 different spot due to overexertion. My mom threatening me was the last straw, so I called my friends while I picked up cat food.

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My mom (who had calmed down) panicked when I told her that my cats and I would move back home and refused to let me pack my stuff. We came to the agreement that I would stay with the parents of one of my friends for a few days, so that I could “calm down”, however I’m only planning to come back to get my cats.

My mom did apologize today, but got angry when I explained my disappointment with her breaking her vow to never again threaten me with homelessness (she has done it twice before when I lived home and paid rent)..

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Both of my parents have told me that I’m dramatic and sensitive, meanwhile my friends state the opposite.. So I guess, I’m asking strangers for their opinion to help put my mind at ease.. Am I the a**hole?

Navigating family support during recovery can feel like walking a tightrope. For this young man, his parents’ insistence on hosting him post-surgery set high expectations, but their actions—like ignoring his medication schedule or pushing him to carry heavy items—sparked conflict. His mother’s threat to evict him, especially after promising not to, signals a breach of trust. The parents view their efforts—meals, cat care, hospital rides—as generous, while he sees neglect and manipulation, highlighting a classic disconnect in family dynamics.

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This situation reflects broader issues of emotional boundaries in caregiving. A 2019 study in Family Relations found that 60% of young adults recovering at home face stress from family expectations, often leading to strained relationships (wiley.com). Both sides here feel unappreciated: the parents catalog their efforts, while the OP struggles with inconsistent support and overexertion, even risking his health.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned family therapist, notes, “Conflict in families often stems from unmet expectations and poor communication” (gottman.com). Here, the parents’ defensiveness and the OP’s frustration suggest a failure to align on recovery needs. The mother’s repeated threats of homelessness, despite apologies, lean toward emotional manipulation, undermining trust.

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For solutions, clear communication is key. The OP could set specific boundaries, like written schedules for meds or cat care, to avoid misunderstandings. Staying with a friend temporarily, as planned, offers a breather to reassess. Long-term, he might explore recovery centers or professional support to prioritize healing.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, dishing out a mix of empathy and tough love for the OP’s saga. Their takes are candid, fiery, and occasionally laced with humor, like a group chat roasting bad family vibes. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd:

runedued − NTA. My dad screwed up my post surgery and my knee will never be the same. The best person to look out for your health, besides you are trained professionals. Go to the recovery center.

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ScorpioMoonkitty − NTA, also I really think you should take your friend up on the offer. Your mother has already broken a promise to not threaten to throw you out once already. Stop giving her more chances. Stay with your friend, you'll likely be happier there.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Who threatens to kick a sick child out on the street?

movieholic-92 − NTA, and I'm sorry that your parents are like this. Take your friend up on their offer, rest and recover, and then consider what kind of contact/relationship you want with your parental units. Take it easy and feel better soon!

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youknowitsnotlove__ − NTA. This is a type of emotional abuse and is manipulative as hell. I would agree that not staying there is in your best interests and best for your health. My mother was also like this. Eventually I left and never went back. 10/10 recommend.. Best of luck with your recovery, OP.

AuntyErrma − Nta. Now you know. Never stay with them, never be dependent. Pay for support in future, and organize your life so you don't need support from them, of any kind, ever again.. Feel better soon.

Delicious_Lobster468 − NTA, leave them behind.

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TX_Farmer − NTA. I've been in a position where I was able to help care for a relative who had surgery. It's not easy - it can be frustrating for a person used to doing everything on their own to rely on family members; it's an inconvenience to help a family member with everyday tasks. But everyone should know that going in.

When something is done like this, it should be done with love. There should be give / take of communication, respect, grace and reasonable boundaries. Get out of their house, OP. Your limitations are temporary (recovering from surgery just takes time).

Yet after 3 weeks they've catalogued 'EVERYTHING' they've done for you and use it as material for guilt trips. They're not even being helpful! All the additional stress and anxiety is very detrimental. The fact that they're using your housing as leverage is disgusting...you're in an extremely vulnerable position! Call their bluff and find someplace else to stay.

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raptorira − NTA. The threat of making you homeless when they insisted you stay with them and breaking their promise not to threaten you with homelessness is enough to leave.

But they also seem to be delusional about how much support they're offering you and are ready to gaslight you about it. Go get your cats and have a relationship with your parent from a comfortable distance, you don't need their b**lshit in your immediate life.

MissyCross − NTA. You're parents aren't really helping with your healing. They are actually being quite abusive. You need to get out of there before your health is on the line. It's wrong that they insist you stay and then treat you so horribly.

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It doesn't matter if you are being sensitive, I don't think you are, but it doesn't matter. You just had surgery!!. Please take your friend up on their offer and get out before your health suffers.

These Redditors cheer the OP’s plan to leave, slamming his parents’ threats as manipulative. Some see the parents’ help as half-hearted; others urge cutting ties for peace. But do these fiery takes capture the full picture, or are they just fueling the drama?

This story lays bare the messy reality of recovering under family care, where love and frustration collide. The OP’s fight to heal while dodging threats of eviction sparks a question: how do you balance gratitude with standing up for your needs? His parents’ apologies clash with their defensiveness, leaving trust shaky. Moving forward, prioritizing his health—physically and mentally—seems critical, whether with friends or professionals. What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation? Share your thoughts and experiences below.

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