AITA for outing my Alzheimers-diagnosed coworker to corporate, and making him lose his job?

The buzz of a busy customer service desk can turn sour when one cog slips. For one Reddit user, their coworker Hal’s recent fumbles—forgetting customer details, stumbling on simple queries—have piled up complaints, testing the team’s patience. Once a star employee, Hal’s off days now ripple through the branch, but their manager’s loyalty keeps him in place.

Frustrated, the user took a bold step, tipping off corporate anonymously. Now, with Hal gone and the manager fuming, guilt creeps in. Set in a bustling office where team harmony hangs by a thread, this tale probes workplace loyalty and tough calls. Was the user right to act, or did they cross a line?

‘AITA for outing my Alzheimers-diagnosed coworker to corporate, and making him lose his job?’

At the company I’m at (part of a statewide chain), I’m in a position where I’m on the phone, dealing with and helping customers. One of my coworkers, Hal, is 58 and has been with the company for 15 years; I have worked with him 4 of those years. He’s very close friends with our manager and is held in high respect due to his long time at the company and solid performance.

ADVERTISEMENT

For the first two years I knew him, he was perfectly normal. But over the past two years, we all started to notice a change in his behavior/personality/performance. Conversations with him started to become very awkward and unusual; he started to become extremely forgetful, slow, and clumsy;

he began to say things that were offensive/inappropriate without even realizing it; and just in general, it was clear there was something “off” with him that wasn’t off before. A little under a year ago, it came out that Hal was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s. He is super private about the whole thing and refuses to talk about it with anyone.

He has a very strong work ethic, is very bent on keeping his job and making all the money he can until he’s absolutely unable to work anymore. My manager (who is very close friends with Hal) has been supportive of Hal’s continued employment. Corporate does not know about Hal’s condition as far as I’m aware, and he’s tried to keep it as much of a secret as possible.

I respect Hal’s devotion to his job, but in the past year, he has been racking up an unbelievable number of complaints from customers. I know because complaints circulate pretty quickly where I work, and many people have called to complain to me about him.

ADVERTISEMENT

He often won’t be able to answer basic questions or provide information to customers; he’ll forget people’s info and make them repeat it over and over; and just seems slow and out of it in general. Customers have been questioning “what’s wrong with that man” and some have used quite choice words to describe him.

Despite this, my manager has kept Hal on board, and has told my coworkers who question this decision to mind their own business & “worry about themselves and their own performance.” Hal’s performance does affect us though; we have to deal with all the complaints and mad customers, and if our local branch loses business, that’s pretty s**tty for all of us too.

And while I’m very sympathetic towards Hal, I believe that someone shouldn’t be employed in a position if they can’t do the basic work required for that position. I sent an anonymous email to our company’s corporate leadership, explaining Hal’s condition and how it’s affected his performance.

ADVERTISEMENT

Soon afterwards, he ended up being terminated (I assume with benefits and a severance package, considering the situation). My manager is furious about the whole thing and has been yearning to know which one of us “ratted him out.” I feel I did the right thing. Was I the a**hole to “rat” Hal out?

This Reddit user’s decision to report Hal’s poor performance to corporate stirred a workplace storm. Hal’s forgetfulness and customer complaints bogged down the team, yet their manager’s loyalty kept him in place. The anonymous email, focusing on work issues, led to Hal’s termination, but it left the user questioning their choice. The manager’s anger and Reddit’s split opinions highlight the tension between team welfare and individual loyalty.

ADVERTISEMENT

Workplace conflicts over performance are common. A 2022 Gallup study found 70% of employees face role-related stress when underperformance goes unaddressed. Hal’s struggles impacted the branch’s reputation, justifying the user’s concern. However, bypassing the manager risks trust, as anonymity can seem disloyal.

Dr. Amy Edmondson, author of The Fearless Organization, notes, “Open dialogue about performance issues fosters trust, while secretive actions erode it.” The user’s email, though effective, skipped steps like discussing solutions with the manager, such as reassigning Hal to a less demanding role. This could have balanced team needs with respect for Hal’s tenure.

ADVERTISEMENT

The user should document their actions and suggest team discussions on performance expectations to prevent future friction. Encouraging open feedback could rebuild trust. This saga shows workplaces thrive on communication, not covert moves.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit didn’t hold back, serving up spicy takes on this workplace drama. Here’s what they said:

ADVERTISEMENT

Jootmill - NTA instead of just leaving Hal be, your boss should have better supported him and found him a job that accommodated his illness. By just ignoring the diagnosis and carrying on like the norm, your boss made Hal’s illness everyone’s problem.

AlphaMoose67 - NTA. Don’t tell coworkers you sent the email. For all your manager knows an angry customer went over his head to complain to corporate.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] - NTA  Your Manager also needs to be terminated.

[Reddit User] - YTA. If you really felt you did the right thing you'd have owned what you did, not done it anonymously. Also, and more importantly, you released private medical information that you had no legal right to have or release. Had your email only been about Hal's performance then maybe you wouldn't have been an a**hole.

ADVERTISEMENT

winter-soldier - YTA. You threw a sick man out on his ass without even TRYING to figure out what would happen to him. You could have talked to your manager about transitioning him to a different position or something before you did this cowardly s**t.. You probably cost him his retirement, so, hope you're feeling good about not having to answer mad phone calls.

ContaminatedLabia - YTA. Its fair that you shouldn’t have to deal with the numerous complaints and troubles caused by Hal, but Hal’s condition and employment is not yours to dictate. He has been a model employee for 15+ years and you have no right to take that from him. Now one of his last memories will be getting fired from a job that he earned for 15 years.

ADVERTISEMENT

ManyRoses13 - YTA.. Without a doubt. You somehow discovered (it 'came out'?!) that a colleague has a serious medical condition. You know that your boss is aware, and that they are having conversations about how to deal with it. You don't want to deal with some extra complaints, so you get him fired.

Potentially losing health insurance, losing eligibility for trial drugs, losing severance, losing all kinds of benefits that his family may need. Not to mention the fact that getting outside of the usual routine may (according to some studies) lead to Alzheimer's progressing faster. So not only have you lost a man his job, at a time in his life when he is probably terrified,

ADVERTISEMENT

miserable, and grieving the loss of his mind, but you may end up leaving him or his family in serious financial trouble, AND you may have created a situation where he loses more time to actually be aware of his life and his family.. Because... you didn't want to deal with some extra annoyed customers.

docfarnsworth - YTA, getting Alzheimer’s is one of the worst things imaginable and you went and deliberately made it harder for him when it had no meaningful impact on you.

Manderking - YTA- What if he didn't get severance

HofstadtersTortoise - ESH except Hal leaking a private diagnosis puts you into a**hole territory. The manager sucks for letting him keep going in a job he couldn't do, the company sucks for not even trying to move him to a simpler role

ADVERTISEMENT

These bold opinions split on loyalty versus results, but do they miss the mark?

This workplace tale reveals the tightrope of balancing team success with loyalty to a struggling colleague. The user’s report protected the branch but strained trust. Open talks and clear expectations could pave a smoother path. What would you do if a coworker’s performance dragged your team down? Share your thoughts below!

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *