AITA for ordering pizza to my boyfriend’s parents house when they threw me a birthday dinner party with no food I could eat?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a birthday celebration, candles flickering, but the guest of honor stares at a plate she can’t touch. A Reddit user, a vegetarian for 13 years, arrived at her boyfriend’s parents’ house for a low-key birthday dinner, expecting a warm, inclusive meal. Instead, she found pasta sprinkled with bacon and vegetables cooked in bacon grease—hardly a vegetarian’s delight. Her polite reminders about her dietary needs were brushed off with a casual “just pick out the bacon,” leaving her hungry and frustrated.

The tension simmered as she took matters into her own hands, ordering a pizza to ensure she could eat something. But when the delivery arrived, her boyfriend’s parents bristled, turning a festive evening into an awkward standoff. This tale of dietary disregard and family friction pulls readers into the delicate dance of respecting personal choices during celebrations.

‘AITA for ordering pizza to my boyfriend’s parents house when they threw me a birthday dinner party with no food I could eat?’

I am stuck in a different state than my family and friends right now due to the virus so on my birthday my boyfriend and parents were going to throw me small party. Just me, my boyfriend and his little siblings, and his parents. A super low-key dinner.. I'm vegetarian, I have been for 13 years, it's not anything new or anything that people don't know.

So when I went to their house and saw them cooking pasta with bacon piece's, and cooking up veggies in the bacon grease pan, I realized there was nothing I could have except beer and I was hungry. I reminded them I don't eat meat, and they were like 'you can pick the bacon bits out, there just sprinkled on top,

and give them to ( boyfriend) he'll eat anything. And we made vegetables that you can eat too.' I didn't want to pick meat out of the pasta or eat vegetables that were cooked in bacon fat so I said I wasn't sure, I didn't like meat flavor at all. I might have something else.

They said there was hardly any bacon grease in the pan, while they'd used it for bacon they just didn't wash in between but I wouldn't even taste it. Then I ordered a pizza to their house and when it arrived his parents were mad and upset that I had.

I said that I mentioned that I wasn't into eating meat so I might get my own food.. My boyfriend and I left early and went out ice skating so the day turned out fine lol. AITA for ordering pizza?

A birthday dinner should celebrate the guest of honor, not leave them hungry. The Reddit user’s decision to order pizza stemmed from her boyfriend’s parents’ failure to accommodate her long-standing vegetarianism. Their insistence that she could “pick out” bacon or eat grease-cooked vegetables shows a misunderstanding of dietary boundaries, creating unnecessary conflict. The user’s pizza order was a practical move, but it sparked resentment, highlighting a clash of expectations.

This scenario reflects broader issues of dietary respect in social settings. A 2021 survey by The Vegetarian Society found that 62% of vegetarians face challenges finding suitable food at social gatherings, often feeling sidelined. The parents’ casual dismissal mirrors this trend, assuming minimal meat traces wouldn’t matter.

Dr. Melanie Joy, a psychologist and author of Why We Love Dogs, Eat Pigs, and Wear Cows, notes, “Respecting dietary choices is about acknowledging someone’s identity and values” . Here, the parents’ oversight invalidated the user’s lifestyle, while her pizza order asserted her needs. Her boyfriend could have bridged the gap by clarifying her diet beforehand.

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To resolve this, the user could communicate her dietary needs more firmly in advance, perhaps offering to bring a dish. The parents should educate themselves on vegetarianism to avoid future missteps. Open conversations about dietary preferences can prevent such awkward moments, ensuring celebrations remain joyful.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit crew brought their A-game, serving up a feast of opinions with a side of sass. Here’s the unfiltered take from the online crowd:

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[Reddit User] − NTA. If this party was supposed to be for you, I don't know why asking you what *you* wanted wasn't the first order of business. But even if they couldn't be bothered to do that, who makes the guest of honor a dish that's focused on the flavor of an ingredient they can't eat?

Miss_Magpie_ − NTA. As someone who has gone back and forth between strict vegetarianism for a few years and back to eating meat again, I can tell you that there’s a good chance that bacon grease would have done a number on your stomach.

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I still don’t eat a lot of meat, but I try to have it every now and then just so I don’t have to go through that terrible reintroduction process again. After 13 years, I’m guessing the bacon grease would have been really foreign to your digestive system

SciFiEmma − Some people are genuinely ignorant about vegetarianism. That said, your BF could have given a proper briefing. I’d have had into beer and let everyone else deal with the consequences :-) but I’m a bad guest.. NTA.

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[Reddit User] − All of this 'pick the bacon out' etc comes from ignorance. I've been veggie for 11 years. I worked as a chef for a lot of them. One day, while cooking off a tray of bacon, the smell was still amazing so I thought I'd try a piece to see if my tastes had changed.

I used to love bacon.. After years of not eating meat, it was.. utterly disgusting. So salty and fatty. Made me stop missing bacon. So a load of veg cooked in bacon grease will taste foul.. NTA.

quandmemeici − NTA. My gf was vegetarian for just TWO years and my parents completely revamped HOLIDAY dinners for her. Like, they spent a week planning 'what vegetables does she eat' 'what meat substitutes does she like' etc.

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We're from the rural US. We like meat and lots of it. We still accommodated. Now, on your birthday, a day totally about you, they couldn't at least take the care to make sure you could eat something before planning the meal?

I'm not saying they're intentionally rude, but I would definitely talk to your bf about future holiday meals. Also, don't apologize for the pizza. They should have actually paid for it for you, since it was your birthday, after all.

XANDERtheSHEEPDOG − NTA. Hardcore carnivore here. Some people don't understand that if it is cooked with meat, or cooked in fat from meat, it is not vegetarian friendly. If you haven't eaten meat in 13 years, just a 'little bacon grease' could make you very sick.

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If they invited you, it is their responsibility to ensure that there is something available for you to eat. You are not trying to impose your lifestyle on them, you just want to be included. It's basic courtesy. I'm glad your bf was supportive.

TheGuardian226 − enter desert snow nose elderly muddle important swim plucky uppity. *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact])*

PharmD_ − NTA. “Pick the bacon bits out”, “hardly any bacon grease in the pan” lol wtf. I wouldn’t have touched that food either if I were a vegetarian.

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Flashy_Current2284 − NTA. It is unbelievable that people would expect that you should eat food that has been cooked in meat fat. They don't seem to understand what vegetarian means.

RollingKatamari − NTA-I hate when people think picking out bits of dead animal makes something vegetarian. No. It just doesn't work that way. They invited a vegetarian, it's up to them to provide actual food you can eat.

Redditors rallied behind the vegetarian, slamming the parents’ ignorance while praising her pizza power move. Some pointed out the health risks of bacon grease for a long-term vegetarian, while others called out her boyfriend for not stepping up. These spicy takes beg the question: do they nail the issue, or are they just tossing fuel on the fire?

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This birthday saga shows how a simple oversight can sour a celebration. The Reddit user’s pizza order was a stand for her dietary needs, but it exposed a deeper disconnect with her boyfriend’s family. Respecting someone’s food choices is a small gesture that speaks volumes about care and inclusion. Have you ever faced a similar food fiasco at a gathering? What would you do if your dietary needs were ignored at a party meant for you? Share your stories below!

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