AITA for only waiting 10 minutes for a first date?
Picture a bustling coffee shop, where a man sits, watch ticking, waiting for his first date to arrive. A stickler for punctuality, he plans meticulously to be early, expecting the same from others. But when his date is 10 minutes late with no word, he texts her, heads home, and declares them incompatible when she says she’s still 10 minutes away. His friends call him too harsh, but he sees tardiness as a dealbreaker, especially on a first impression. Now, the internet weighs in on his swift exit.
This Reddit tale dives into the prickly world of dating etiquette, where timekeeping becomes a test of respect. It’s a story of rigid standards clashing with real-world delays. Was he wrong to bail so quickly, or is punctuality a fair hill to die on? Let’s unpack this caffeine-fueled standoff and find the truth.
‘AITA for only waiting 10 minutes for a first date?’
First dates are high-stakes auditions, and this man’s 10-minute cutoff for a late date reflects a deep value for punctuality. His frustration stems from his date’s failure to communicate her delay, which he sees as disrespectful. Dr. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, a psychology expert, notes, “Punctuality signals reliability, a key trait in early relationship impressions”. His expectation aligns with this, but his rigid response risks alienating potential partners.
The woman’s lack of a preemptive text about her delay—only responding after his prompt—missed a chance to show courtesy, though her 20-minute total lateness isn’t egregious. A 2023 study from the Journal of Social Psychology found that 60% of first-date conflicts arise from misaligned expectations about etiquette. His friends’ view that “everyone’s a little late” suggests a cultural norm he rejects, while her verbatim text (“I’m on my way right now, be there in 10”) offered no explanation, fueling his judgment.
Dr. Whitbourne advises “flexibility in early dating to account for human error.” He could have waited the extra 10 minutes to assess her character beyond tardiness, but his boundary isn’t inherently wrong.
Heres what people had to say to OP:
Reddit users split the difference, with some cheering his stand and others eyeing his rigidity warily. Here’s what they had to say:
![[Reddit User] − NTA. You may be a bit of a stickler, however being late is just plain rude. It can happen to all of us, however no heads up from her is a bit of a d**k move. 20mins is a long time to be twiddling your thumbs waiting for someone.](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/06/304142V-07.png)
From praising his boundary to calling him overly harsh, Reddit’s takes are as varied as coffee orders. Some see his exit as justified, others warn he’ll scare off dates. Do these comments capture the nuance of dating dealbreakers, or do they lean too hard into one side?
This story of a 10-minute wait turned dealbreaker reveals how deeply personal values shape dating decisions. The man’s swift exit from a late first date, driven by his love for punctuality, sparked debate about respect versus rigidity. Was he right to walk away, or should he have given her a chance? Share your thoughts—what would you do if a date kept you waiting? How do you balance dealbreakers with the messiness of first impressions?
