AITA for only making pasta?

The kitchen hums with the familiar bubble of boiling water, but the aroma of marinara sauce stirs tension instead of comfort. A full-time student juggling two jobs, the Reddit user whips up their go-to pasta dish—cheap, quick, and batch-friendly. But their boyfriend, now sharing their home, grimaces at yet another plate of spaghetti, his complaints simmering louder than the saucepan. Why can’t he just cook something else?

Balancing a hectic schedule, the student leans on pasta to keep life manageable, but the boyfriend’s grumbling threatens to boil over. Readers can feel the frustration—when you’re stretched thin, who has time for gourmet meals? This tale of culinary clashes and domestic expectations pulls us into a relatable tussle over who’s responsible for dinner and whether complaints without action are fair game.

‘AITA for only making pasta?’

Between classes and two side jobs, the Reddit user keeps their kitchen simple with pasta as their staple. But cohabiting with their boyfriend has stirred up some culinary discontent. Here’s their story:

I'm a full-time student and I also work two side jobs, so I don't have a lot of free time. My go-to meal is pasta with marinara sauce, ground beef, and steamed vegetables on the side. It's quick, tasty and cheap and it's easy to prepare in large batches and freeze.

I can usually take care of all of my lunches and dinners for the week by cooking it just two or three times. Ever since my boyfriend and I moved in together, he's constantly complaining that he's sick of pasta and doesn't want to eat it every day.

I've told him many times he's more than welcome to prepare something for himself if he doesn't like what I make. He cooks something separate on occasion, but usually he just eats the pasta and grumbles to me about it. I was raised to always eat what was on the table or make my own food, so I don't have a lot of patience for this. AITA?.

Edit: To be clear, we don't eat pasta literally every day, maybe 75-80 percent of the time.

Pasta may be the ultimate comfort food, but for this Reddit user, it’s sparking domestic discord. As a busy student, their reliance on quick, budget-friendly meals is practical, yet their boyfriend’s complaints—without pitching in—highlight a deeper issue: uneven household expectations. While the student manages a packed schedule, the boyfriend’s reluctance to cook suggests a clash in responsibility-sharing, a common hurdle in new cohabitation.

This scenario reflects broader relationship dynamics. A 2020 study from the Pew Research Center found 59% of couples report disputes over household chores, with meal prep often a flashpoint (source). The boyfriend’s grumbling without action mirrors a pattern where one partner expects the other to carry the load.

Relationship expert Dr. Gary Chapman notes, “Love is a choice, and so is contributing to shared responsibilities” (source). Here, the boyfriend’s complaints sidestep his role in meal planning. His passivity frustrates the student, who’s already stretched thin. A fairer split could ease tension.

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The couple should discuss a meal rotation or designate cooking days. The student might suggest the boyfriend prepare meals twice a week, fostering teamwork.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s got a forkful of opinions, and they’re saucier than the marinara in question. Here’s what the crowd dished out:

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QueenMoogle − NTA. He’s a big boy, he can make something different if he doesn’t want pasta. You’re his gf, not is cook.

sashy311 − NTA, tell your boyfriend to grow the f**k up. You’re not his mother!!

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kumakohai − NTA.. Your boyfriend needs to make his own food then.

RoninJellyfish − NTA. I'm sorry your boyfriend isn't stroganoff to cook for himself. I'm alfredo there's no hope for him. Peene more fish in the sea.

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IChooseYouSnorlax − NTA.. He's free to make something else, buy his own food, or go hungry.

AdministrativeFile9 − NTA. Stop letting him eat what you make if he's going to complain about it and let him make his own.

weasel709 − Absolutely NTA. Im going to assume your boyfriend is quite capable of making his own meals and should be appreciative that you've made him anything. If he doesn't like it make something else.

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Personally if it was me (also cause I can be a bit of a d**k) I wouldn't make him any next time your having dinner and if he asks why you didn't make him anything I would simply say 'Oh well last time I make this all you did was complain so I figured you'd make your own dinner because you don't like this.'

SuperPancake27 − NTA whatsoever. He's being ungrateful.

scenicsmell − INFO: Have you two ever discussed any meal preparing arrangement? Either before moving together, or after. I'm thinking about things like 'we'll cook every other day each', 'the one with time will cook', stuff like that.

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owlcityy − NTA He’s grown enough to make something on his own.

These spicy takes from Reddit call it like they see it, but do they capture the whole recipe? Is the boyfriend just picky, or is there a deeper issue in this kitchen clash?

This pasta predicament serves up a lesson: shared spaces need shared effort. The student’s practical pasta routine keeps their chaotic life in check, but the boyfriend’s complaints without cooking feel like an extra serving of unfairness. Should he grab a spatula or keep eating in silence? How would you handle a partner who gripes but won’t cook? Toss your thoughts into the pot below—let’s stir up some ideas!

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